Kids sharing rooms?

posted 5 months ago in Parenting
Post # 17
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

My husband was in the same room as his brother who is 7 years younger than him and it was ok.

I agree with other Bees, though, to keep the baby in your room at first until it doesn’t wake up all the time anymore.

What does your husband think about her having to share a room with a baby?

Post # 18
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

Since there would be a solid 7 year age gap between the two I would not have them share at all.  If possible I would have them separated.  My children aren’t too far apart but I still wouldn’t have them share a room because now at this point one of them is fully potty trained and going in and out of the room at night to go to the bathroom which would be disturbing the baby.  And she could be 8 or 9 by the time the baby would move in with her and that’s just too much of an age gap personally to me.

Post # 19
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - York, ME

piper628 :  Kids can share rooms.  They’re children and they don’t NEED their own space.  I shared a room with my sister until I was in 8th grade.  Yeah there were times I wanted my own room, but looking back as an adult, we had some really fun times and good memories.  I would keep the baby in your room until they don’t wake up at night, or like a PP suggested- bring the baby into your room on the days she’s there, so that she can sleep in peace.

Post # 21
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My oldest children are 1/2 siblings with an 8 year age gap. I would definitely have separate rooms for them. Mine are now 7 and 15 and don’t like each other at all- haha. We purposely bought a house that had 2 bedrooms on each floor so that they weren’t even on the same floor as each other! But both of those children love our youngest daughter- so I think it’s more personality conflict rather than age gap or 1/2 sibling status.

Post # 22
390 posts
Helper bee

It’d be different if they were full siblings, but I’m agreeing with other bees that your step-daughter needs her own room. It can be hard for step-children to see their parents have other children and you don’t want her to feel like she’s a burden on her father’s “new family”. Also looking into the future, I don’t see a 12-year-old girl being thrilled about sharing a room with a 4-year-old, no matter what gender. 

The reality is, babies don’t need their own rooms. Sure there’s all the cutesy Pinterest nursery ideas but the actual kid doesn’t give a crap about any of that stuff. As long as they have a comfortable place to sleep, they’re happy. You could have the baby share a room with you and your husband for a year or so, and during that time you could save up for a bigger place. 

Post # 23
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

 I agree with the others who say that I think you should do everything to avoid her feeling like a visitor. If she shares a room, the room will feel like your child”s room with her as a guest who sometimes stays over, rather than being equally her room. If you have a den that can be uniquely hers while she’s there, I think that’s better.

If she lived with you full time or even the majority of the time, I would see less of an issue with them sharing.

Post # 24
7002 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Obviously we all know that plenty of kids share rooms and it’s super common in cities because space is limited. I think it can be a hard concept for people to get on board with because the majority don’t live in cities where an extra bedroom is an extreme luxury.

All that being said I think I would personally hold out until you can find a 3 bedroom. Even if it’s just an extra room like an office w/ no closet. I know it’s hard in the city but in the long run I think it’s the best move. That’s a pretty big age gap to share a room, especially with the fact they will be on such vastly different schedules. I was almost 14 when my sister was born and I cannot fathom sharing a room with her. Likewise, you just wont know what kind of sleeper you have until the baby is here.

Our son slept in our room for the first 4 months, and then we transitioned him to his nursery. Even still at the transition he was waking up at least 3 times a night to eat. At 6 months we sleep trained so he did start sleeping through the night but has a 7pm bedtime and we don’t go back in that room. I don’t even know how we’d make it work trying to put another kid to bed after our son is already asleep without waking him up? We are very lucky in that he sleeps through the night I have many friends who don’t sleep train and their kids still regularly wake up throughout the night. THat would be horrible for your stepdaughter’s sleep.

Plus I definitely agree with others that blended families are just a different set of rules. I would worry she would feel like a guest without her own room. I think it’s also important to remember that babies are ALL CONSUMING. When a little kid has a baby added to the family they struggle but also are more adaptable. At 7 that’s a big change, and I would want my child to feel like they had their own space to go to “get away from it all”. 

Post # 25
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

piper628 :  My parents always kept babies in the master bedroom until a certain point. I shared a room with my middle brother for a few years when we were young, and I shared a room with my stepsister for a few years as well.

Post # 27
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We have two small children(3.5 and a little over 1). Currently our son (3.5) has his own room ( it’s huge) and our daughter has been with us. Well be having them share soon as well be having a third baby. We have more bedrooms but our stairs to the third floor are really steep and honesty- I didn’t want to deal with it. Both are great sleepers, so we’re just going to try to phase them in together and the room is big enough for all of their things.  

Personally, by 10/11, I think kids start to yearn for a space of their own.  But- I hear you on expensive real estate- and given then your SD is only with you part time, I’m sure you can make it work. Good luck! 

Post # 28
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

How long do you anticipate living in this apartment?

My teen son (and most his friends with 2 homes) started staying primarily at one house vs. another as they got into older middle school/high school years. They begin to dislike moving their stuff back and forth so much, and are at the age where they can start deciding where to stay. And maybe that’d be more with you guys, so you’d def want her to have her own room.

Post # 29
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

My oldest two (6.5yo girl and 4yo boy) have been sharing a bedroom for just over a year now and they love it! We do have an extra bedroom but it’s  downstairs from the rest of the house so we’re using it as a guest bedroom until our oldest is ready to have her own room.

i don’t think it’s the end of the world if they share but you’re probably still going to need three bedrooms down the track.

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