Post # 1
Anyone have kids that are within a year / max two years in age? 2 kids are the plan for us. I think somewhat closer in age is ideal for me, and I also want to knock two out rather quickly. I know it’s ridiculous to plan for when kids will be out of the house, but the idea of having kids off at college by the time I am 50 sounds nice. Duh, I know I can’t guarantee that I will have kids that will be able to do the traditional home–>college–>job thing and thus I won’t know when they’ll be out of the house, but it’s as good of a benchmark as any. I see my parents (in their 60s) finally having the money/time to travel, and yet they’re also having to take things slower 🙁
Back to my main question, if we decide to have two kids by the time we are thinking…then they’d be very close in age. Anyone with kids close in age want to share their experience? It would be very helpful!
Thanks – byeeee
(PS – please no hate. this is not the only factor we are taking into account, this is a joint decision we’ve discussed together, and just because we’re thinking about the far future doesn’t mean we don’t want kids)
Post # 2
I don’t have two children close in age but my brother and I are. Benefit (according to my mother)- we were in the same stages at the same time. Drawback (according to me) – It can be hard to be seen as an individual when you’re so close that you become a unit known as “the kids”.
Also- my mother traveled extensively with me and my brother when we were young. It actually inspired my love of travel and made me much more globally minded than I would have been inclined to be otherwise.
Post # 3
My brother and I are 19 months apart. Worked out great. We are close but were 2 grades apart in school. This is what I am aiming for with my own kids to have one grade in between them.
Post # 4
My sister and I are 18 months apart. Having 2 small kids at the same time seems like a lot of work though lol
Post # 5
TwilightRarity : Thank you for the info 🙂 And yes, I totally want to travel with the kids and agree it is very important to expose them to different cultures!! I just also know that often pre/post-kids couples have a bit more freedom (financially and otherwise) 😉 lol
Post # 6
Post # 7
therobinsparkles : Mine are 2 and a half years apart and it worked out great. Would have been closer but there was a miscarriage. I had the same thought as you. Not specifically that they’d be “out of the house” around the same time, but that they’d be in similar stages at the same time (including flying the nest) and that might be helpful to them and easier for us. There are pros and cons to different spacing patterns. There were some studies a while back that said “scientifically” kids do better when there’s about 5 years between them, but my kids were already born by then and I still would have spaced them closely anyway.
Post # 8
One of my friends has 2 kids 11 months apart, then a 2 year gap, then 2 more 15 months apart. She has her hands full and has since number 2, but also the two older ones are super close. And having 2 rather than 4 would be a lot easier!
Post # 9
No kids for me yet but my sister and I are a year apart. We have always been best friends and we remain super close with our mom as well. We liked that we were always in the same stages of life and my mom liked that she only had to do the tough stuff once like potty training, teenage angst, etc. We also relied on each other and have always been protective of each other so that took a little bit of the burden off of my mom. She knew that if were ever going somewhere together where she couldn’t be, that we would at least have each other. She did say that it was tough that we both left home at around the same time and she was suddenly an empty nester but she ended up moving to be closer to us so she got over it pretty quick.
I love having a sibling so close in age and I plan to have two kids as close in age as possible. I really can’t think of anything I didn’t like about it.
Post # 10
Without commenting on the rest of it, I think it’s good to know that having pregnancies less than a year apart increases your risk of developing osteoporosis later in life. Apparently a gap of at least two years is recommended for that reason and to reduce the risk of complications.
Post # 11
I always imagined I would have two children relatively close in age however I am now pregnant with my first and tearfully told my Darling Husband last weekend that I am not sure I could go through this again. First trimester has been TOUGH. You never know how your plans may alter.
But do your research to see how long its medically recommended to wait between birthing a child and conceiving again.
Post # 12
My brother and I are 15 months apart. My mother has said that it was definitely hard in the beginning- I (the older one) had a really hard time understanding how to “share mommy with the baby”. Upside (and possible downside) is that we went through the same stages at the same time. This could make it easier, lumping everything together, but also harder on the budget- 2 kids in daycare at the same time, in diapers at the same time, going to college at the same time. My brother and I are close, and I love that. But I can definitely see just as many negatives as positives from a parenting standpoint.
That being said, my parents were empty nesters before 50 and LOVE it.
Post # 13
therobinsparkles : I don’t have kids yet, but my brother and I are only 12 months apart…people used to think we were twins growing up! My mom said she was praying the whole time that my brother would be a boy. She was nervous that two girls this close in age would lead to a lot of competition. From my perspective, I think it was sometimes hard for my brother because I was very good in school and he was always being compared to me. But overall, it’s been great having a sibling so close. (I also have two other siblings who are 5 years and 10 years younger than me. I’m also close with them.)
We also ended up doing almost every milestone at the same time – driving, college, and now we’re getting married just 6 months apart! The only thought I have on that is that it seems like a lot of big costs all at once 🙂
Post # 14
My oldest two are 20 months apart. I wouldn’t change it for the world. It was hard at the beginning, but now they are inseparable. They play so well, have similar interests, always get along if one has a friend over. It probably helps that the oldest is a boy and second is a girl. No sibling rivalry, and they are closer in maturity that way.
Post # 15
My sister and I are 20 months apart. As kids we were the best of friends. One school year apart. It’s the perfect age gap