Post # 1
Getting married in May. Fiancee’s daughter has 2 kids who are unvaccinated. There will be elderly people who are not in the best of health at the wedding. It’s a small wedding (30 people) in a small venue, so it will be difficult to avoid then coming into contact with each other. I don’t know how to broach this.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
Assuming everyone else is likely vaccinated, everyone should be fine. Unless, of course, you’re worried about the children, but you shouldn’t be because that isn’t anything you can control and it’s a risk their mom is obviously willing to take.
Post # 3
I’m worried about the elderly people and one child who will be attending who has immune issues, not the unvaccinated children. Their doctor isn’t real happy about them being exposed, their immune systems are not the greatest and they are on a myriad of medications. I’m not really happy either, don’t feel like having my parents come down with something. The kids already were in the hospital last year with either mumps or rubella, then the croup, then chicken pox. They are not the healthiest. When Fiancee goes to see kids, he always comes home with something, then I get sick.
Post # 4
It depends on the health/your relationship with the older folks and their health status. I wouldn’t knowingly let unvaccinated children near my mother while she had chemo or around my baby nephews. I’m not willing to risk getting immunocompromised folks sick because some nut job won’t vaccinate his/her kids.
It it wouldn’t be the first place she wasnt allowed to bring ger kid. None of the pediatricians around here will take on unvaccinated patients and many daycares won’t either
Post # 5
BarbW: Perhaps a child-free wedding? It sounds as if there is a great deal more going on than just a lack of vaccinations if the children are so frequently sick and spreading illness. Time for you and your Fiance to get your flu shots!
Post # 6
I would probably try to limit proximity of the children with unvaccinated people. It really depends on how fragile these people are, or what their health is like. People undergoing chemo? There is no way I would allow these kids within a 20 mile radius of them. If the children are or have recently been actively sick that’s a very big risk.
Would it be possible to limit the children to one area so they’re not putting the others at too much risk? Maybe ask your fiancee to chat with their daughter about this? I don’t know how zealous your daughter in law to be is over anti-vaxxing, but I would want to hope that she would understand that some people don’t want to be exposed to potential sickness. That would be a very delicate and difficult subject to start, however.
Post # 7
BarbW: I would say exclude the unvaccinated children, and politely explain why. Your parents’ health (and the other elderly people) is more important.
Post # 8
lisianthus: 2 of the elderly people are my parents, and one is my best friend/maid of honor’s dad who is pushing 90. I can’t say no kids, b/c my brother has 2, Emily will be 13 and in the wedding party (she is my little buddy), and the other one is 10, little Bobby is severely autistic, allergic to everything (can’t have shellfish at wedding lest someone touch him after eating shellfish), and is constantly sick and in the hospital everytime he is exposed to something. He has a breathing machine he uses every day, his immune system is not that great. I don’t know how/who to broach the ubject to, Fiancee or his daughter. I’m not very close to her, she lives in a different state, don’t see her that often.
Post # 9
Hyperventilate: It’s a tiny tiny venue, there is no way for them to avoid each other. It is onec small room in an old bed and breakfast with 30 people in it. My parents get sick very easily, don’t need another run to the ER. Fiancee’s daughter is into antivax b/c she thinks it causes autism.
Post # 10
beethree: Not only flu shots, we got our MMR’s again a while back, will be making sure wec are up on everything.
Post # 11
stephanie091512: No, being vaccinated yourself is not enough protection when around unvaccinated people. Vaccines are 97% -99% effective, generally, which still leaves 1-3% chance of contracting a disease you’ve been vaccinated against (I know someone this happened to and this info comes from a pediatrician). People who don’t vaccinate their children put their own children and others at risk.
Post # 12
Aren’t parents required to have their kids up to date on all vaccines when they start school or daycare?
Post # 13
I would kindly explain the situation to her and ask her not to bring her unvaccinated children. Is it her choice not to vaccinate? Of course. But does this choice have consequences (apart from the obvious risk she’s already exposing her kids to)? 100%.
Post # 14
You deserve a pat on the back for recognizing the public health threat of unvaccinated children. I would ask the parent not to bring the children if they are sick or have been sick in the last 48hrs.
Post # 15
Edited as I misread your earlier post, thinking that one of the unvaccinated children was in the wedding party.
They are your fiance’s grandchildren, so I’d have him handle the conversation, but the two of you have to be on the same page. There are people attending the wedding with compromised and/or vulnerable immune systems, so no unvaccinated children. Then, the invitation is sent only to those who are invited. It’s not an easy conversation to have, but it needs to be done and should be done by your fiance. I have friends who had one of their mothers living with them. When their young daughter was diagnosed with several medical conditions that left her with a fragile immune system, the Children’s Hospital said everyone in the household needed a flu shot and needed to be up to date on DPT (because of the whooping cough risk- not sure why that was a concern, as the child was vaccinated, but who was I to argue? Parents said medical professionals want to make sure everyone is vaccianted and has a flue shot, so we all went and did that). Everyone who spent time with the child (including me) pretty much right away went and got the flu shot and made sure our DPTs were current, EXCEPT the grandmother who lived with them who decided that she was now anti-vax. I am not kidding- she would not budge! So, they told her to move out. Hard conversations, but you have to protect those who cannot protect themselves.