Post # 1
From the beginning I wanted NO CHILDREN at my wedding. We are having a small elegant dinner party at a pretty upscale restaurant. No band/dj, no dance floor. It’s at a restaurant and while we will have a private room, there are other diners close by who probably would not appreciate screaming children throughout their expensive meal. My Fiance has 4 neices/nephews who are all under the age of 4 (eekkkk!). We compromised and invited them FI’s brother/sister are from out of town. Now… here’s my problem… my FI’s cousin’s all live out of state and have a total of 5 kids under the age of 7. We don’t want them there. My Future Mother-In-Law thinks we are “isolating” them by not inviting the kids because she assumes they won’t be able to come without them. I really don’t want 9 KIDS (!!!) at my small intimate wedding… it totally changes the scene. Any suggestions? I thought of maybe setting up a babysitter for the out of towner’s who may not have arrangements but my Fiance doesn’t want to add additional stress to our plans.
Post # 3
get a babysitter to watch the kids at the hotel. you should be able to find a couple of high school students interested in child care in your area they would do it for pretty cheap. if the hotel has a pool/play area they should be able to watch them there.
Post # 4
I think your Fiance has a point. You invited his nieces and nephews because they’re from out of town – well, so are his cousins. It does appear a little incongruous and would be tough to explain. I think you should offer a babysitter but make clear that they will not be able to come to the dinner.
Post # 5
Etiquette is on your side for this one. You don’t HAVE to invite anyone. There doesn’t have to be an obvious rule. You can choose to invite/not invite whomever you choose.
Anyone who questions your choice of guests is the one being rude.
But you have to also accept that if you don’t invite their kids the cousins may choose to not come.
Post # 6
This is tricky. I’m only inviting my nieces and nephew, and asking all other children not to attend. If I allowed everyone to bring their kids there would be 20 children under 10 at the wedding. That’s costly (who wants to pay an extra 20+ for chicken nuggets for kids!) and I feel like it’d be more about babysitting than a wedding.
Now, my wedding is over a year away at this point, and i’ve already been told that quite a few of my relatives from AL will not be attending if they can’t bring their kids, because they dont want to travel that far/for that long, without their children. That is something that I’m ok with though.
I think that if you can swing it, then finding someone to watch all of the out of town kids its a nice middle ground, but you most definetely aren’t expected to do this.
As long as you are comfy with the fact that they may not come, then I’d stick to my guns here.
When I explained it, it was a bit easier for me becasue my nieces and nephews have roles in the wedding.
Post # 7
I agree with the private sitter idea! I was really surprised how inexpensive it was and you could even get kids catering very cheap somewhere like panera and look very classy. I also found a balloon artist for $80 willing to come do balloons for the kids.
I was able to get the private sitter a room as the same venue so parents can bring their kids and be there if they need to be paged.
The whole thing is costing me like $300 and looks very considerate and classy!
Also, I am doing the same thing. What are you doing for music?
Post # 8
I agree with andielovesj that while it is your perogative to not invite the children you will have to accept the fact that they may not come if their kids aren’t welcome.
If you feel it is worth fighting for then keep communication open and yes look into a babysitter. For us it wasn’t worth the extra drama to exclude kids so we caved and will have 12 children (ranging from infant to 12 years old) at our wedding. We opted to have everyone there rather than fight the little people battle.