- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I’m fighting my Future Mother-In-Law on this issue- we are having a sort of Destination Wedding (a 3 and 1/2 hour drive away), and we exclusively reserved our venue with the rooms in it for our guests for the weekend- 2 night minimum stay. I explicitly expressed to both of our families that people should feel free to come as families, room together, bring kids, whatever- but that children are absolutely not to attend the wedding- no exceptions- as agreed upon by Fiance and I. We have provided babysitter info far in advance. Future Mother-In-Law has been asking me to make exceptions, more like demanding, and no matter how many times I tactfully and respectfully explain that I can’t make exceptions, she keeps bringing it up and causing tension between Fiance and I.
Basically- FMIL’s sister adpoted her grandson, and there is no one else to watch him. I explained to Future Mother-In-Law that we have babysitters info and she can still bring him, but that for the duration of the wedding he will have to stay inside with the babysitter. She came back at me saying they can’t afford babysitting (how they can afford a 2 night stay in VT blows my mind then, but whatever…), so we offered to cover the cost for this one particular child discreetly. Future Mother-In-Law then tells me that it’s her only sister in the world, her “only living relative” and that the woman told her that she’s bringing the toddler with her to the wedding, refusing to leave him with a sitter because she’s “very attached” and that if anyone says one thing to her about it she’ll just go the hell home. I mean COME ON!!! *sigh* Future Mother-In-Law was trying for 3 kids originally, but it seems like we’re down to the one (for now at least) that she’s fighting me on.
I know Fiance Iwants his mom to be happy, and I know he wants his aunt there- but he’s never even met these kids! She thinks it would be good to have them there because they’ve never met and so they can meet their other cousins- how many times do I have to explain that it’s a wedding and not a GD family reunion!? *sigh* He agrees with me, but then feels bad and gets bulldozed by his mom and comes back trying to get me to agree to make exceptions. I know it’s not him talking- because when we decided to have a wedding we made the decision to exclude kids except for those in the wedding party together. My family and his friends combined would make almost 40 kids, so it’s just not an option. My family is a lot larger than his, which is something he always seemed okay with- but then she gets on the phone and guilts him and nags him to death about it. He sticks up for me and agrees with me at first every time, and then she hammers him about it and he comes back to me all worked up. I know it’s my Future Mother-In-Law talking when he comes back and is torn, and it’s making me CRAZY! I want to call her and explain that while I understand, no is no, this is the last time I’m speaking about this and I would appreciate if she would stop asking as it’s causing so much unnecessary stress and tension. There is a babysitter on the premises not ten feet from the actual wedding, so there is no reason this woman can’t have the kid(s) with the babysitter during the wedding. It’s unfair to tell my entire family and our friends that their kids who I know, love and wouldn’t mind having there can’t come but then allowing this 2 year old because of one stubborn obnoxious woman. My parents literally can’t understand why it’s even an issue since every other guest is respecting our wishes.
This issue just keeps coming up over and over again- I keep thinking I’ve taken care of it by explaining to my Future Mother-In-Law that there will be babysitting available right there and how we will even pay for it- and she seems to accept it, but then calls a month or two later and starts in on it all over again. I don’t feel like I should have to make exceptions because we agreed in the beginning to making no exceptions because it’s totally unnecessary! I’m afraid that I’m going to get to a point where I literally snap and tell them to shove this kid up their very attached a$$. And I hate that it’s causing any kind of disagreement between Fiance and I. I love my FMIL- and she’s been so great since I met her- but for some reason with the wedding stuff she is making me nuts- between the rehearsal dinner (her insisting that she invite an additional 8 to 10 people who are not involved in the ceremony at all), inviting all her friends, and most importantly this. I think I could even deal with the rest if not for this. We have friends with babies who will be 4 or 5 months old by the wedding date, and we have had to tell them no exceptions. Part of me starts to feel like is it worth fighting it so hard and maybe just give the hell in so it can be a dead issue already, but I really REALLY don’t want to give in to this. It’s not fair and makes no damn sense. GRRRRR!!!!
Sorry- I absolutely HAD to get that out!