(Closed) kind of a bummer

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it really depends on the couple!

Fiance and I have been together for 6 years -when we were younger we said we would wait a couple years to have kids after getting married.. but life and mortgage payments pushed the wedding back and so now we are both just dying to have a baby – so we are hoping to start trying right after the wedding.

Someone else’s advice is based on their experiences and cannot be projected onto you and your Fiance – you need to discuss amongst yourselves what you want to accomplish before you start trying for a baby!

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I don’t know if that’s always good advice. 🙂 If Mr. Spaniel and I waited that long, we’d be pushing into high-risk pregnancy territory. Clearly, the amount of time you should wait should be something you talk and think about together and is personal to each couple; there’s no general guideline that would make sense to apply to everyone. That said, if you’re not thinking of starting until after you finish school anyway (probably for the best), I don’t know if I’d try to argue about it or even talk about it with him right now, as long as you both know you want children. Chances are he’ll come around by then anyway… or maybe you will! A lot changes in two years, and both of your feelings about having children right away might be one of them!

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I will agree with Future Mrs Martin and say that it depends on the couple. My Fiance plan on starting right away. I am 34 and he is 41 (42 on Christmas Eve). We are older, financially stable, and we already have kids separately so for us it makes sense to get this party started =)

You and your Fiance have to figure out what works for you….some advice..though well-intentioned just may not work for you.

Post # 9
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Unfortunately there will probably be another actual Puppy Spaniel before there is a Baby Spaniel, but we’re hoping to start trying within the next 2-3 years. 🙂 We’d both prefer sooner, but it depends on what happens with my job after graduation.

Post # 11
Bee
12625 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

I think it depends on the circumstances, like how old you are when you get married, how established you are, how busy you are going to be when it’s time to have kids, etc.  You can’t set a guideline like that (5 years after marriage) that will apply to everyone.  I think it’s better to take it one step at a time.  Get married, and then see where life takes you–maybe revisit the topic every 6 months or so to see where you and your guy stand. 

Post # 12
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

hmm it is interesting advice. But really I don’t think that it is applicable to all couples.

Post # 13
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it depends on the couple Fiance and I want to wait a while, be a little more financially stable, hopefully own a house by that point.

Also, Fiance is more child inclined than I am … so he’ll be steering that boat.

Post # 14
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I definitely think that’s a really personal choice that should not be impacted by others’ advice. For me, one of the reasons that I value our decision to get married relatively young (23) is that it allows us to be married for 3+ years before we have kids and still be able to have the amount of kids we want at a young age. But others try right away, or wait a year and get pregnant. It’s whatever works for you – not what works for whoever said that to your fiance.

Post # 15
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe the “good advice” was less about the specifics of waiting 5 years and more about giving yourselves time after the wedding to enjoy being married? (Which I think is good advice, generally.)

The topic ‘kind of a bummer’ is closed to new replies.

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