Post # 1
So it’s wedding season and I have a slough of weddings to attend this summer. I’ve always loved the bouquet toss and have participated since I was 5 years old.
This may be kind of a silly question, but if I get engaged this summer before some of these weddings, is it a faux pas to try and catch the bouquet? Or is the definition of “single ladies” someone who is not married?
I know there are no actual hard and fast rules; just wondering what you bees thought. Would you judge an engaged woman for participating?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
GOOD question! Um….Well I caught the boquet at the last wedding I went to that had a toss (engaged a year and 4 months later). Ok so the tradition is that whoever catches the boquet will be the first to marry. So if you are engaged w/o a date then I think it is fine to participate because at that point you don’t know when you are going to get hitched to your SO/FI. If you have a date I would sit it out. When they play “Single Ladies” just show your ring off.
Post # 4
I always thought it was single as in not married or engaged.
Post # 5
@jpalm13: Same, but I have been to two weddings since we’ve been engaged where people tried to force me to catch the bouquet. I very pointedly told them to fuck off (and I wouldn’t participate even if I was single).
Reminds me of FI’s cousin’s wedding, before we were engaged. Not only did they try to force me to do the bouquet toss, they had the DJ call out FI’s full name several times to come up for the garter toss. Neither of us wanted to do them (we both find them degrading), so we ended up agitatedly walking across the street and down to the beach for a long time.
Post # 6
You should leave it for unattached women.
Post # 7
@HappySky7: I agree – only for the single ladies, meaning not married or engaged and I would go as far as to say not even those in a serious relationship. But I use any excuse NOT to go up there to catch the bouquet, hah.
Post # 8
I suppose you can do what you want, but I figured it was for women who were single in the sense that no wedding is on the horizon.
The last wedding I went to I didn’t want to go for the bouquet toss. I’m not engaged yet, but I felt silly going up when I was sitting there with SO of over 6 years. The toss was done right by our table…and the bride threw the bouquet so far that it basically landed at my feet. So I took it–who am I to turn down pretty flowers? Then I made SO catch the garter so it wouldn’t be super awkward lol
We’re getting engaged soon though, so the next set of weddings I definitely won’t do the bouquet toss, even if it lands at my feet. If it comes my way, I’ll just hand it off to the nearest “single” gal.
ETA: in 2011 we went to a wedding, and when they called the “single ladies” up for the toss, I stomped my way up there, hoping SO would take the hint and get his shit together lol
Post # 9
I’m with everyone that it’s for Single/Unattached ladies.
I have a wedding to go to next month and am dreading a bouquet/Garter toss…That’s one tradition I just do not like.
Post # 10
Definitely just for single ladies.
Post # 11
Single and unattached.
I’ve never participated in a bouquet toss haha because I was the first among my friends to be married (and didn’t have a toss at my wedding) and now, every bouquet toss I’m married so I don’t participate.
Post # 12
@mscuppycake: i actually got forced into trying to catch the bouquet after i was engaged. -_- i hate that tradition with a passion.
Post # 13
@vorpalette: +1 i’ve been forced into it. im going to a wedding in August and i hope i don’t have to do it again. ive always just stood awkwardly off to the side and tried to dodge the bouquet if it came toward me. awkward.
Post # 14
@TwoStatesBride: Seriously, just walk out of the room. I understand that some people like the tosses, and that’s fine, but don’t try to force people to do them.
Post # 15
@vorpalette: we’re skipping them completely. there are going to be several single people at our wedding, but at least one does not like the fact that she is single, and i just don’t want to put anyone through the awkwardness that i so hate.
Post # 16
@TwoStatesBride: OMG me too. Last wedding I went to, the DJ outright said that engaged ladies and ladies in relationships had to participate in the toss. I think the bride and groom were trying to make the single people feel better by having more people do the toss. It was still massively awkward and you just knew who was single and who wasn’t because the non-single people were in the back or off to the side looking uncomfortable.