Post # 1
But we are moms so we can handle it.
My 6 year old little girl does not always wipe after going #1. She says its because it “takes too long” or some other excuse. It is not that she is forgetting because whenever we ask she knows if she did or not without even thinking. My gut is that she gets lazy. Heck, she outwardly says that it is because she is too lazy. This never used to be an issue, but has been going on for about 6 months now.
She is 6 so she is completely independent with going to the bathroom. It is not like we can follow her every time anymore, or even know everytime anymore.
Everytime we find out she didn’t wipe at some point during the day we make her completely change her pants and underwear, obviously. She hates having to do this, but it hasn’t detered the not-wiping. We think it has just made her less willing to tell us, which is no good.
Any advice on how to deal with this? Anyone else dealt with this? If she is not big enough to remember to wipe every time in a lot of ways it is like she is not compeltely potty trained anymore, which is a big problem.
Post # 3
@freshflowers: I’m not sure how messy she is when she goes #1, but I know if I pee and there is no TP for whatever reason, it’s not the end of the world because I dont’ get pee all down my legs and vag. So I don’t think making her change her undies and pants is going to work. Definitely change the undies for sanitary reasons, but I think you can skip the pants part.
Anyway, maybe try to explain to her that she could get an infection. Try to bring up a time when she’s recently been sick, ask her how it made her feel (hopefully she’ll say not good), and tell her she can get sick from not wiping.
If you can check her after she goes potty each time, I would give her a reward for wiping. Maybe a little piece of candy or let her play her favorite game- anything to make it an incentive to wipe.
Rewards works100000 times better than punishment (which is essentially what you’re doing by making her change).
Post # 4
What about getting actual wipes for each bathroom? It can be much quicker than using lots of TP!
Post # 5
I would explain that she could get an infection if she doesn’t. My daughter uses the bathroom with the door open so it’s easy for me to make sure she’s wiping correctly but she’s very on top of that. I get paranoid though so I don’t let her close the door yet lol When we’re out I take her go inside the stall with her and stress that she needs to wipe to engrain it in her mind, even though there’s been no issue yet. I’m not around when she’s in daycare and the teachers have the kids go to the bathroom alone so I want to ensure that she doesn’t forget.
Post # 6
@RunnerBride13: +1 Maybe wet wipes ( make sure they are for that area ) that are designed specifically for kids in a colorful package. Tell her they are extra special and just for her, and she may want to use them.
Post # 7
@freshflowers: Maybe you can figure out a chart of some kind (call it something cute, like “good go” chart or “happy pants” chart or … well, clearly, I stink at coming up with cute names, but I’m sure you’re much more creative — LOL!). You can hang it on the back of the bathroom door … then, everytime she remembers to wipe, she gets to put a mark or a placeholder on the chart. Once a whole row is filled in on the chart, let your daughter have a prize or pick out an activity she loves or make some “family decision” — like what vegetable you guys will have for dinner, etc.
Having a chart-type setup might encourage her to wipe consistently because she wants to fill in the whole row or because she is working toward a prize. Over time, it will become a habit again, as she sees it really doesn’t take that long.
My daughter isn’t the best at wiping, either. (And she is older than your daughter.) It has a lot to do with the fact that she is busy with life and doesn’t want to waste time on stuff like this. Not that wiping takes a super long time, but it feels like a long time to her. And maybe that’s a kid thing. Anyhow, I talked to her pediatrician about it, because I was worried over potential health issues. He told me not to worry too much. So long as my daughter has a bath every day, with a good soak in warm water, things should remain pretty clean. This is one reason we continue to go the bath route when other kids her age have started to do showers.
Not sure if this helps or not. Hang in there! You’re doing a great job, Mom!!
Post # 8
She has never had an actual infection from it yet, but she has gotten rashes that hurt her from it and we have explained that it was from not wiping. Doesn’t seem to have an effect for more than a couple days after.
We have wet wipes already. However, we use them only for poop, mainly so we don’t burn through them because she is still at the age where she uses 10,000 at a time. I’d be curious to see if telling her she allowed to use them for pee as well if it’d help.
Love the idea of the chart! She always has done well with visuals. We have a behavior/chore chart that we use when she goes through phases of being a booger and it always snaps her back into her good behaior pretty darn quickly. Will try this! Thanks.
Oh, and glad to hear the Dr. says that it isnt a big medical issue
Post # 9
@freshflowers: oo for some reason i read this wrong and thought you were saying she didnt wipe after #2. i was like 🙁 tell her she doesn’t want to stink so she has to do it. anyhow i think others gave you pretty good advice
Post # 10
@longtimemrs: great idea! The fact she’s six means she will understand the idea behind it. and I agree make sure her reward isn’t a present – try offering her something she enjoys like ‘an afternoon baking with mommy’ or ‘going to the park’
Post # 11
@freshflowers: I hope the chart will work for you. I know how frustrating these things can be. My daughter (she is an only, so I don’t have a huge amount of child-rearing experience … but she is still alive, so I guess I’m doing something right — ha, ha!) is very stubborn. When she was a baby, it took FOREVER even to get her to use the potty. This is one reason why she didn’t go to preschool until she was four. She was still in diapers way, way after most kids her age were all done and potty trained. She had no interest at all in the whole bathroom thing. Even worse, having an icky diaper didn’t seem to bother her all that much. Eeeew! Gross!!
I broke down in tears about this in her pediatrician’s office at one point. And he gave me the best advice I’ve ever had. He told me that each kid develops at their own pace, yadda, yadda, yadda. But … and this was the best part … he also said, “Don’t worry. She won’t go to college in diapers.” He said that, every time I was frustrated and at the end of my rope with some weird kid behavior, I should stop and whisper to myself, “She won’t go to college doing ______.” I think doing this kind of saved my sanity on many days. Heck, it still does! LOL
Post # 12
Would she be upset by the idea of going back into diapers? You could explain to her that all big girls wipe and if she doesn’t want to wipe then she’s going to have to go back into baby diapers.
Post # 13
@KateByDesign: I told her this this morning and she didn’t care!!! I was like wah??? She thought it was funny and decided that she was ok with it as long as they were pink. (I told her they are white and ugly)
But she isn’t allowed to go to school in a diaper, so it is not an option.
Post # 14
@longtimemrs: DO we have the same little girl???? We must. (She is technically my step daughter to be but I have known her basically her entire life an she can be so stubborn! She is honestly the best little kiddo you could ever ask for, but she has a huge tendency towards laziness and with certain things like hygiene and such. And she fights to keep her laziness tooth and nail, so we definitely need to clamp down at times with her.
I wonder if the only child thing contributes because there is less “peer pressure” if you will from other siblings at home to be the “big sister” or conversely to be like your big brother. I have had that thought before. I remember being a child and being so driven to keep up with my older brother because he was so cool and grown up to me. With our little one it is just her and she LOVES being the baby.