(Closed) Kind of bitter about planning my own Bachelorette Party – RANT

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sorry hun. I think you’re are expecting things from people that you shouldn’t be. I would get hopes too high becuase you may be really disappointed at your bachelorette party.

It sucks that your BMs aren’t planning one for you, but that shouldn’t be expected of them. I hope people come through for you too but I wouldn’t have high expectations going into it just in case.

Post # 4
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I dont know if it makes you feel any better but I put mine together and none of my bridesmaids offered. It doesnt bother me. I was MOh last year and my friend, the bride, planned her own bachelorette also. We did her shower but that was it. It was just too much going on and she had her wedding the weekend of July 4th and wanted her bachelorette at the same time.

Post # 6
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SkyChick:  You shouldn’t expect sonething like that from the Bm without actually being straight with her and asking. The shower falls to the MOB and the bachelorette falls to the MOH. When you realized your Moh wouldn’t be able to plan anything you easily could have asked the local Bm “hey with Alliason being so far away, would you be willing to take the reign s on my bachelorette?”. 

Post # 7
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@megz06:  well said.  You are expecting far too much.  If you want to do one with the gals you work with, that’s great.  But, they don’t know your BM, and I don’t see why she should plan a party for you and girls that aren’t even invited to your wedding. 

Post # 8
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My best friend planned her own. I offered to help but she’s a planner & wanted to do it. Planning a bachelorette party is not uncommon.

Post # 9
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I suggest just being honest with your local BM about what you want. She just needs some guidelines to work with. Another option is to tell your MOH and get her to convey your wishes to the other ladies attending.

Post # 10
2641 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ArtDecoDC:  +1

While I do think you shouldn’t expect or demand anything, I do think every bride deserves one!

If you told your bm what the plan is (ie location) and guest list and thNn maybe suggest she takes over. This might be enough of a hint for her to plan around what you have done.


Post # 12
8 posts
  • Wedding: July 2013

I JUST posted about having to plan my own bachelorette party, and setting up my own bridal shower.  It sucks, and it’s difficult not to spiral down into bitterness.  I’m sending hugs your way.

Post # 13
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well this is the MOH’s duty. Throwing a good bachlorette is a lot of work so I’d only be willing to do it if I were MOH. As a BM I could help but someone else would need to take the reins. I understand you are in a difficult situation with your MOH so far away but that is not your BMs problem.

Post # 14
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@SkyChick:  I was worried that I was going to be in the exact same postition as you are!  One of my BM is getting married alittle while before I am and her bridal party is planning this big event.  My MOH is on the other side of the country and I was scared that nothing was going to be planned for me 🙁 I know my other BM is busy with her own wedding plans and I don’t expect her to take time out of that but I was feeling like I was going to be left out.  Now this may be the “Passive Agressive” way of dealing with things but I explained to my MOH (who lives away) about my fears and she sent a message out to my other local bridesmaids to try and get the ball rolling.  I don’t know if your in the postiton to do that but at least now I don’t feel “forgotten” about 🙂


Post # 15
8120 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

So the girls who you work with but who aren’t invited to the wedding want a bachelorette? I thought traditional only guests invited to the wedding could be invited to wedding related parties. So I don’t think your BM has done anything wrong at all.


 If these girls want a bachelorette let them organise one for you. There are no rules around who can throw one for you. It normally just falls to the bridal party.


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