(Closed) Kind of bummed… lower RSVP accepts than expected

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee

You’re upset over the difference of 20 people???? Weird….

Post # 17
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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mrsaime :  Why is that weird? Maybe she really wanted those 20 to be there.

Post # 18
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

We had 95 people and I still felt like I didn’t have enough time to talk to everyone. Quality over quantity….

Post # 21
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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mrsaime :  Why is it petty to be bummed that people you are close to can’t make it to your wedding? This seems like a totally normal reaction to me. I don’t get the smug judgment…

Post # 22
Member
13930 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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mrsaime :  Petty would be to hold a grudge or be resentful. Being disappointed that some of the people you sincerely hoped could be there are not able to make it is understandable. 

Post # 23
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee

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weddingmaven :  no, that’s not what petty means

Post # 24
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee

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tiffanybruiser :  I don’t get the smug judgment, either. I guess I look to more important things in life. Like family members being deathly ill or dying, etc. 

Post # 25
Member
13930 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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mrsaime :  Petty as related to this specific situation. 

Not all disappointments are of the tragic variety. Just because people are dying somewhere in the world does not mean you can’t also feel disappointment  that a close friend or tentative can’t attend your once in a lifetime wedding.

If I have exciting plans with friends and they all get sick or called into work for the weekend, I can’t be a bit disappointed within that context? As long as OP doesn’t act out or try to make people feel guilty, and as long as she doesn’t dwell on it excessively, there is nothing dysfunctional about a little disappointment. 

Feelings are just feelings.

Post # 26
Member
9436 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I had a high decline rate (almost 50%) because our wedding was essentially a destination wedidng even though we held it where we lived. 90% of our guests were at least an 8 hour drive away. It was somewhat disappointing that people couldn’t make it. None of my grandparents could make it, which was probably the most disappointing.

But I LOVED our wedding day. It was absolutly perfect with our 60 guests who did attend. We had a great time and I didn’t think about how many people declined at all.

You still have a pretty good acceptance rate so don’t dwell too much on the numbers. And remember that just because people can’t make it doesn’t mean they don’t care. 

Post # 27
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

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mrsaime :  Why are you even here on this forum then? Isn’t this whole forum is petty since it isn’t the death and dying family forum. 

But to OP, that is a great attendance rate. My RSVP date is in a week and apart from immediate family, we have received 5 RSVPs. Out of 90. If less than 40 people are coming, I am thinking we won’t go ahead with the event and just have a private ceremony. 

Post # 28
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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mrsaime :  Well, that escalated quickly. Certainly there is no comparison between the grief we feel when a loved one passes to the disappointment we feel when a loved one can’t make it to our wedding. What is your point?

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