- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
Oh I feel bad! I will get you something off your registry!
Oh I feel bad! I will get you something off your registry!
Awww you guys are the best!! Thank you all so much for understanding and not just thinking I am a huge whiney hiney. I feel like a butthead for even feeling this way. 🙁
@Legallyblondiebride: I’m sorry girl, that’s such a bummer! I would feel the same way. You just never know what people’s reasons are. Maybe a lot of your friends/family are strapped for cash, maybe they just forgot, maybe they’re rude, who knows. In any case try not to be too bummed out about it. And as others have said, try not to set any expectations for gifts, that way you can never be disappointed. 🙂
I had several no shows at my shower, and several of my guests brought a card rather than a gift. I was just pleased to get to spend time with my guests, but I understand what it’s like to be a bit envious of these superhuge and generous showers. It’s okay to be disappointed, just channel it.
@Legallyblondiebride: mines the same way. We invited 50 people because it was my only shower and only 15 showed up. I got a bunch of glass baking dishes that I didn’t register for and crock pots. My mom is the only one that got us a place setting of china and silverwear and I may just have to take it back because theres no way I can afford more. It is depressing…but both of my sisters wedding and baby showers were the same way.
People just don’t go to showers, rsvp, or anything that is expected yet they expect dinner and alcohol at your wedding. I’m very frustrated with this whole process!
Thank you girls SO MUCH for understanding. I was SO afraid to post this thinking I would get flamed.
Mine is this weekend and I’m pretty sure my mother bought everything off my registry to make me feel better. Only three people RSVPed besides my sisters and the host. I think I invited like 25. haha!
Yes.. we didn’t get some things we totally wanted (and that’s ok) .. but more so about other things. I was upset a little over the whole party, and my Fiance says I’m being ungreatful.
I know exactly how OP feels – as a bee, you often get to hear about the “success” stories of bees gushing about their perfect showers filled with lavish gifts. You hope that at least all of your friends and families will put aside their own self-interests for one day and celebrate YOU in their presence and some type of gift. Is that rude to think of? Perhaps, but you know you’d do the same for them and that’s why I don’t think it’s rude. If you’re attending, that’s the expectation. We also had a lot of people not show up, and the family that did was basically EXTREMELY rude the whole time by talking loudly throughout the bridal games and loudly throughout my opening my gifts about idiotic things. They did other things that was beyond rude (refused cake, didn’t eat anything, didn’t help clean up, etc.) so I was partially dissapointed but I was more angry at how I put faith in people to actually have some manners when I was giving them too much credit. I have decided to just embrace and enjoy the cool gifts I did get (like a Ninja blender! Booyah – healthy smoothies every day since 😉 ), and forgive but not forget.
And for those saying not to have expectations about gifts….that’s not being realistic. If you’re putting something on your registry, there’s a small expectation inside you that you’re going to get it (otherwise, why would you put it on there? It’s at least some type of hope inside you that you get it because you picked it out). It’s channeling back to our being little kids and having lists for Santa… if you actually make that list, it’s hard not to hope for what’s on that list! Lastly, about you being ‘ungrateful’, if you weren’t happy with what people gave you at your shower, that would be one thing. But there were people who said they were coming and didn’t even show up! It really is a wake-up call that makes you realize not just how some people’s manners really are, but makes you more self-conscious of your own actions. <3 Here’s to hoping your wedding will be oodles better (and I know it will be!) 🙂
I didn’t get very many gifts off my registry for my shower, people just bought me random things that they find useful and wanted to pass their favorites on to me. I think it was mostly because the registry information wasn’t on the invitation and they had to ask around or visit our website to figure out where we were registered. Either way, I didn’t mind, I think I was more excited to get together with all of my friends and family and have a good time than for the presents. I know the point of a shower is to be showered by gifts but I think it is important to appriciate the people who came to show their support of you and your marriage. That being said, I think that people generally get something smaller for the shower and then something bigger for the wedding so don’t get too upset, you will probably still get most of your registry items. I would be more upset by the no-shows, maybe the hostess didn’t follow up very well with the invites? For my shower I ended up helping the hostess e-mail/call/text people to figure out who was coming, some people just aren’t good at RSVPing.
before you beat yourself up over what other bees have posted just remember each person is different, has a different family etc. plus i think where you are from is HUGE on here. Like it seems in the south you gals do bridal portraits? we dont do that here in boston. it also seems like the western girls have all these arent DIY venues to pick from.
I am in boston. weddings here are EXPENSIVE so gifts tend to reflect that. We do registry for showers and money for the actual wedding.
So dont beat yourself up!
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