(Closed) Kind of embarressing but worth asking…

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve never had an orgasm from actual penetration. I’ve almost been there, but it’s so intense, I guess, that it almost hurts. Oral and toys are the way I like it. I believe I read somewhere credible that some women just don’t. I don’t think anything is wrong, if that’s what you are asking, but have you asked your doc?

Post # 4
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am so sorry hun. I think it might be difficult for you to carry on like that (faking it) forever. I’m confused though. Is it just that you can’t come from intercourse or is he not stimulating you in the way that turns you on enough for you to climax. I’m asking because you said that you can make yourself come. What is it that you do to make yourself orgasm? Can your fiance do that? Maybe with some guidance? Some women just can’t climax with intercourse alone. They need oral stimulation or maybe, uh, “finger” play. Would any of these options help you?

Post # 5
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

There are different kinds of orgasms, one with your clit and one with your g spot. Have you tried lots of different positions so he hits your g-spot? What about a glass of wine or two to help you relax? Orgasms are a very mental thing sometimes, if you worry to much about having one (and are busy faking one!) then you wont let yourself relax enough to have one for real πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do you ever use a vibrator? Have you tried using it while you are having sex with him? It’s a lot of fun and it helps a lot Wink

Post # 7
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

If you can make yourself orgasm then it should be possible for him to also give you one. It does not have to be from intercorse because some people just don’t respond to that. Take his hands and show or guide him on how you would like him to do it. It takes patience and repetition to get these things right. Talk to him about bringing a toy into the bedroom if that would help. Also, I find that the more I worry about my body or how I’m feeling when we are in foreplay the more I manage to distract myself and the harder time I have getting comfortable and aroused. Try to just enjoy the time with him and not concentrate on the actual orgasm.Just because you didn’t have one does not mean that you don’t enjoy time with your SO or enjoy being with him.

Post # 9
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my thoughts are please be honest with him about this – its going to hurt his ego but stress to him that its because you want sex to be fantastic with him that you are being honest now rather than it making you resentful later on (i say this because i faked every time with my 1st bf before my hubby)

when you give yourself an O are you using toys? can you use them together?  and are you mixing up your positions?  i easily have an O when on top but misionary is a bit ho hum for me

 

Post # 11
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@SoontobeD: Positioning is important πŸ˜€ It’s a rare woman that can get an O from missionary πŸ™‚ Don’t be self conscious, guys eat that stuff up πŸ˜€

Post # 12
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

First of all, stop faking it!  You will never be satisifed if he doesn’t know how to please you.  Do you touch yourself during sex?  I cannot climax from penetration alone.  It sounds like you are getting nervous about it, which completely shuts off any desire that your body would have.

Post # 14
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Don’t feel horrible! You’re completely normal and we’re just trying to help. I listen to Dan Savage a lot (you should, it’ll make you feel so much better) and he said that something like 75% of women cannot orgasm from penetration alone!

Post # 15
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yes please don’t feel horrible.  Just like NotFridaythe13th said, it is completely normal and it’s just about getting to know what works for you and gets you where you want to be!

Post # 16
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Have you tried touching yourself in front of him to show him? My husband really likes that πŸ™‚

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