(Closed) kind of just ready for this wedding to be over….. (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I feel ya, sometimes it just feels like the mom needs to cut the umbilical cord already, you know? Like umm, I am the main woman of his life now..not you..you know? I just feel like parents really need to step back sometimes and accept their kid is not a kid anymore. I feel ya..I feel like my FH fam can be too overly involved with stuff..but what ya do? Ugh. I also want this wedding to be over with!!! If were up to me, it would be elope for sure..you know? Like to heck with all these people! haha..ya, I totally know where you’re comin from! Like I just want to be on our honeymoon and forget the ceremony a lot of times! Hope things get better!

Post # 4
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t let her get to you and take away the enjoyment of planning then having your wedding.

I hate to disillusion you but these disagreements and things she says are not about the wedding and they likely won’t go away after.

Just learn to tune her out.

To use a wedding metaphor-Imagine yourself with a veil that covers you from head to toe. Nothing can penetrate the veil. This imaginary veil will stary with you for life and protect you from the slings and arrows she tosses your way.

Post # 5
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. It’s tough b/c you love your Fiance and want to embrace his family but they are making it difficult. Have you talked to Fiance about it? What does he say? It’s easy to say try not to let it get to you, but you are about to make a life long committment to your Fiance, and you are going to have to deal with his family. What if you and Fiance sat down and talked with his parents about some of their comments? Do you think they would be receptive?

I’m thankful that I get along pretty good with FI’s family. They aren’t super involved with the planning so I don’t have to worry about what they will say. I did invite his stepmom and 2 sisters to go dress shopping with me one day and that went great! I really hope you all can work something out soon!!

Post # 6
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Oh I’m sorry. And I say this as a woman who’s MIL STILL refers to her 30-year-old son as her “boy” and her “baby” and has a million pet names for him and honestly, I think sometimes wishes that he would grow old with HER (in a non-sexual way). She’s a lovely lady, but I think there’s a bit of dependence going on.

I understand you’re just venting and frustrated. I think that you deserve a little bubble bath and some relaxation because in the end, these are probably not as bad as you think. I don’t think that her saying you didn’t have to come to the basketball games means that she thinks you have a bad attitude; maybe it’s just she really doesn’t want you to feel obligated. And who cares in the end what she thinks about who packs the lunches?

On the paying for the wedding type stuff, my mom does that too. I have to take deep deep breaths when she second-guesses and then just politely repeat “Thanks, but I’ve already done the research, and I think this is the best choice.” Rinse, repeat. Once in a while, it gets to me as it’s gotten to you, but in the end, it’s your wedding. Own it, speak softly when you say “thanks, but we’re doing it my way” and carry a big stick 🙂

Post # 8
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

I DO…and I just got married this Oct 1st. My advise, is just to focus on you and your fiance, and if you are really bothered by something, let her know right away. And it is perfectly OK not to go see them every week…maybe take a few weeks off? I had to do that now and then, and have taken a lot of time away now that we are married

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