- 6 years ago
So I’ve been pretty good about not mentioning engagement or marriage for awhile. He’s the one that’s always saying “at our wedding”, or “when we get married”, as though it’s happening soon (but he’s also been saying this for a year already). Not to mention, his sister is kind of my “engagement spy”, and she tells me EVERYTHING. He was originally planning on proposing last Christmas, then our house plans got derailed and he told her that he was going to do it in the spring when we move into our townhouse. Fine, I can wait. It’s no secret we are going to get married, but I hate hate hate surprises, and want to know everything possible.
Anyway, last night we actually got into our first argument about it – usually they are just levelheaded discussions – but I went to bed terribly upset and crying while he watched tv in silence. Basically, after I made an AWESOME dinner for us, we were watching tv and I was, admitedly, a little tipsy from the wine. We were all cuddly and he was being sweet, and I said in a very non-threatening way, “no pressure babe, but when DO you think we are going to get married? Since we are always talking about it?” (he had no idea his sister had been keeping me “informed”).
Anyway, he completely flipped out! Saying why is everyone always asking him about it and they need to stop pressuring him…weddings are expensive blah blah blah (which is absurd, as we both have good jobs and he has a happy sum of money sitting in savings). I reminded him that this is the first time I’ve asked him for a direct timeline, and it’s not my fault his family always asks. I then asked if he could at least give me the YEAR we would get married, so that I would have an answer for when people ask me (I really get this question on a weekly basis).
His answer: Early 2014, “at the latest”. Not going to lie, I about lost my sh*t. He unofficially asked me October 2010, and I’ve been waiting for it to be official for over a year already. Since he knows I need a year to plan, that means he’s going to ask me “for real” sometime in 2013. What the hell!?!? A whole ‘nother year of waiting, gahhhh! I really thought we were close, based on what he told his sister after Christmas.
I then started crying quietly – but I was in bed so I don’t think he noticed. He later asked what was wrong and I admited that his sister had told me all these things, and he should stop telling her them if they aren’t true; it just makes me more upset when they don’t happen. He didn’t respond, and I went to bed. FML. Everything was fine this morning, and he was sweet and loving as usual. But now I’m upset that I even said anything. The “crazy” is starting to creep out 🙁
I need to do Mr. Bees Plan Pact before I lose my mind even more. Sorry for the rant ladies, but I needed to get that out!