(Closed) Kind of rude response or am I taking this too personally?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

No – Usually when I respond to RSVP’s and can’t make it I just check off the no and don’t elaborate.


Post # 6
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I hated when people did that to me! I don’t think she’s being rude, just answering your question.  It’s easy to take it as a slight, but I don’t think it’s personal at all. Just send her an email or text, ‘Just got your rsvp, sorry you can’t make it!’ and she’ll probably get back to you.   It sucks, but that’s the way wedding planning goes.

Post # 7
7220 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You are definitely taking this too personally. We got a couple messages from people which was awesome but most “no’s” didn’t have notes. Like you said, you didn’t expect her to come so I’m not sure why you think she is mad.

Post # 8
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I have never written anything in…don’t take it personally. Just b/c some people do it, doesn’t mean everyone will/has to. And I don’t agree with e-mailing her, trying to get an explanation or an apology for not coming. You’re overthinking this! Just move on and wait for all those happy Yesses!

Post # 9
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@anonybee0810:  I didn’t realize that no’s had to come with an additional response, an apology or a verifyable excuse. The options were yes or no. She chose one. That’s all she had to do.

Post # 10
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think it was rude. At least you got an RSVP back!

Post # 11
3267 posts
Sugar bee

She isn’t required to give you a reason.  You gave the options.  If you wanted a reason you should have written decline + a line for a reason.  Though obviously this would be in poor taste.

Post # 12
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you’re reading way too much into this. I NEVER write notes on RSVP cards and didn’t know people did this until I saw my own coming in. Even then, the vast majority of people do not write notes.

Post # 13
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@anonybee0810:  you are taking this way to personally.  so far i have received 3 No’s and all of them just checked No.

i’m sure i’ll get a congrats card from the No’s closer to the wedding.


Post # 14
1249 posts
Bumble bee

@anonybee0810:  Maybe she did not know it would be considered “appropriate” to write a note. She also might be embarrassed about why she cannot attend. 


Post # 15
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yup. You’re taking this too personally.


They don’t need to give you a reason. They’re not showing up, end of story. Just let it go and put them in the “no” pile.

ETA: I am also in the “Never write notes on RSVP Cards ever” club. I don’t see the point. I don’t need to say I’m excited to see someone there if I’m going and they’re going to be there too. I also have no need to validate or explain why I’m not going. So, chill.

Post # 16
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Cummins59:  +1 

You’re taking it too personally.  And I agree that you should be happy that the person actually managed to RSVP instead of just not saying anything and then leaving you wondering for weeks.

I don’t think I would want to go into detail about why I couldn’t attend something either.  It could end up getting awkward.

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