(Closed) Kind of silly but i feel a little blue about….

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Aw… its ok. And its a common problem. I was with my guy for about 2.5 years and knew he was e-ring shopping when my brother came out of nowhere (shocking everyone) and proposed to his gf of 6 months. Ugh. I was seriously pissed because 1) i felt like they hadn’t been dating long enough to get married 2) if they were going to get married it should at least be after us 3) they picked the time of year i wanted to get married in (so we couldn’t) 4) I didn’t want people to think my then-bf was pressured by my brother’s actions 5) i thought it kind of sucked that my and my brother were going to be engaged during the exact. same. period. 

so i stewed for a bit, but honestly I’m over it. I set my wedding for 6 months after theirs so that there would be plenty of time in between, and i’d still get 6 months of being engaged “alone” in our family, and other than that I just let go. Yea it sucks that i can’t have a discussion with my family about our wedding without them bringing up his. Yea it sucks that i had several family members ask me (after my bro proposed but before my now-fi did) “so is fi really feeling the pressure to propose now?” but what am i going to do about it? Life happens. Our wedding is going to be totally different and awesome. πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Awww, I know what you mean. My fiance’s bff got engaged about a week/week and half before us. We thought everyone was going to assume the same thing – that fiance felt encouraged to get a ring because his bff did.

Honestly, everyone understands that you’ve been together for a while and will know that it’s being done out of love, not competition. Your family and friends are probably waiting for the engagement, just as much as you are. I can’t remember how many people said, “I knew it was coming” after we got engaged.

 

Post # 6
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Audrey- That really sucks..Im sorry πŸ™ Just make an ever BIGGER deal with you finally get your proposal! :)))

Post # 7
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I know the feeling, but if you think about it, it makes sense that you and your friends will be going through the same milestones at similar times. Assuming you’re all around the same age, this is just the way life works – I bet you all graduated/got jobs/moved out of home/etc at similar times too. I’m not sure why you want to “tell anyone who will listen” that your Boyfriend or Best Friend was already planning it – I can’t imagine anyone cares? If someone said that to me, I’d wonder why it mattered at all and think that’s all you cared about, which I know isn’t true. The main thing is that you are happy and you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend are doing things when it suits you πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I know what you mean!  FH and I got engaged, and then his brother announces a month later that  his gf is pregnant and they’re getting married.  They hadn’t really talked about marriage before.  I am close with FH’s parents and wanted to be the first daughter in law.  That didn’t  happen, but I’ll settle for being the favorite instead. πŸ˜‰

Post # 11
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Aww, yeah, i’s frustrating, but more likely than not, people will just be happy.  The people around you know you as a couple, and won’t think anything of your engagements being so close.  If anything, it’ll make everyone more excited for you!!

Most people know that the ring buying process isn’t one that usually can be done in a short amount of time, so I wouldn’t worry about people assuming that your friend got engaged and your man immediately ran to the nearest jewelry store. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Audreysdance, so sweet of you to say.  They got married last August, baby born in December, and she’s cute and nice and sweet.  The bigger issue was that SIL wanted to have their wedding party (they did a small civil ceremony last year) this August, about 6 weeks before my wedding. THANKFULLY, she finally decided against it.

 

 

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