Post # 1
I am scared to death of getting herpes or something like it from people including friends whose sexual histories I don’t know, and my SO’s family (his dad in particular has slept around a LOT, like 150+ women, and I would be surprised if he DIDN’T have any diseases). Some reports say you can contract viruses from sharing drinks/utensils and some say you can’t, but I prefer to err on the side of caution.
Here’s the thing. People always want to taste my drink/food/whatever and I don’t know how to say no without being offensive or awkward. His family especially is very share-y so whenever I make myself a drink and walk out on the patio, they’re like- what is that?! can I try? So far I just kind of drink half of it before they descend, allow all the tastes, and then abandon it. But that’s stupid.
Help me be more assertive without offending anyone.
Post # 3
Tell them you are very OCD about germs, and just ask them to grab a cup so you can pour your drink into theirs.
Post # 4
Honestly I’m not sure there is much way around this without offending them. On occassion you could do the ol’ “Oh I have a terrible cold and I don’t want to get you sick” but that won’t work every time.
My family is pretty much like this too but it doesn’t bother me. I’m one of those people who figures the more germs I’m exposed to the healthier I’ll be (within reason lol).
Post # 5
I hate it too and FH is usually the only one that can get away with it. I usually keep my glass within my reach so no one has the chance to drink out of it, but when people try or ask, depending on how well I know them, I just lie and say I’m feeling a bit under the weather and would prefer they not drink after me.
You don’t have to be assertive, you can just say that you’re not comfortable sharing a drink or food, that it’s not something you’re used to… If they’re respectful they should leave it alone.
Post # 6
It’s actually a good idea. There are things that can be passed on by sharing drinks, or at least the government health services was advertising it for a while. When I was in high school that was how an outbreak of menningitis got spread (along with shared cigarettes) and mono went through a group who shared waterbottles all the time.
Just say you’re not comfortable sharing drinks while people in general. I don’t think there’s anything offensive about that!
Post # 7
@kgirl91: “So far I just kind of drink half of it before they descend, allow all the tastes, and then abandon it. But that’s stupid. “
I don’t think that’s stupid at all! It’s only a drink. In some ways it’s better than causing offence, and certainly better than catching something.
But that is really weird behaviour by them. How does your SO handle it? If you can coach him to say no to people barging in and sipping his drink, maybe you can too.
p.s. The evil side of me says to make something really disgusting.
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Oh, the only people that can touch my drink is my Fiance and maybe some of my family. But, I’ve never really had random other family (or FI’s family) want to touch my drink. To me, that is just odd behavior…I guess I would just say that I don’t really feel comfortable sharing unless they grab a fresh straw (although that would still spread some germs, no?).
Post # 9
Laugh and go “Ugh, no way! I am SUCH a germaphobe!”
That generally gets them to stop! And since it pokes fun at you, they won’t be upset/offended!
Post # 10
Could you start carrying a couple of plastic straws in your purse? If they want to share, offer one, and if they ask why, just tell them that you’re a little paranoid about germs.
Post # 11
@kgirl91: I’m exactly the same!
if its a drink I now say I will save you some and if they want to taste something I will put it straight onto their plate, break some off or say I will save you some. I don’t mean to be rude but if someone drinks out of my cup it’s theirs I don’t want it back!
Post # 12
FH’s family is very into sharing and I’m like you. I just said “I prefer not to share drinks/food because I don’t have time to get sick!” They now know I don’t share. Just get it over with and say it as nice as you can. If they get offended, they will get over it. It’s not smart to do, and it’s gross!
Post # 13
You have every right not to share food and beverage with people you wouldn’t french kiss!
Can you believe it, I had a female aquaintance who told me she had oral herpes, and subsequently would keep offering lipgloss, asking to share my icecream, etc.? Some people are either very oblivious or want to share much too much!
I simply say “I’m not comfortable sharing drinks/food (as the case may be). I hope you understand!” and I will absolutely abandon something that someone else has helped him or herself to.
Post # 14
I don’t have to deal with that with my own family, since my mom was picky about germs when I was growing up. DH’s family likes to share, but I broke him of that by reminding him he doesn’t know where other people’s mouths have been (eew!). If someone asks, I have no problem saying I would only French kiss Darling Husband, therefore he’s the only one I’m willing to share spit with.
Post # 15
@paula1248: We just got back from a vacation with his family and I coached him strictly to not drink out of something after someone else did. No one ever asked to taste his drink since I’m usually the one making them, but he always grabbed a new glass rather than using his former glass if it had been out of his sight for awhile. I feel overly anal but I just really don’t want to put myself at risk.
Post # 16
@joya_aspera: That’s exactly it! I originally figured if someone had something, they’d be conscientious and refrain from drinking out of things/sharing. But I have realized that’s just not true- even if they don’t mean to, they might not even be aware that they could still be spreading germs/virus etc.