(Closed) kinda depressing… (just venting)

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, I don’t think its just you. 

That said, I think we women have been all but brainwashed with fairy princess images and stories of over the top, theatrical proposals.  If the man you love proposed to you does it really matter if he did it on top of Mount Everest or in your living room? 

There are an awful lot of lonely, single people out there.  If you’re planning a future with someone you love, count your blessings.  

Post # 4
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not going to call you out for feeling disappointed!  I get disappointed over things sometimes too – For many of us it doesn’t come naturally to appreciate what we have in the moment.  I always look back and love my memories though, so as I have gotten older I do this less and less.

It’s hard not to let the hype get to you.  My ring for example, is small by many people’s standards.  Heck, I even CHOSE the ring a month in advance and a friend helped him find it to propose – and I still had issues with my own insecurity about the size of my ring (the way you seem to about the actual proposal).  Time will make it seem trivial in the long run, so try to focus on other positive things and not compare yourself to everyone around you.  For the record, my ring is gorgeous and lovely – and I’m 100% happy with it now, a year later.

I had issues with my proposal.  For one, my mother blew it for me a few weeks in advance, which was pretty heartbreaking because I was not at all expecting it (my Darling Husband doesn’t know that I knew about it). When it actually happened, the moment was hilariously wrought with things that went wrong! From my ring not arriving until Christmas Eve (when he was proposing on Christmas morning), him being COMPLETELY obvious when he tried to sneak the dog away to put it on his neck, to me wearing the worst outfit ever, bad hair, makeup smeared, my mom taking crappy photos, the dog knocking him over when he tried to get on one knee and me yelling YES! before he got done asking me the question…  and you know looking back, it was perfect!  We don’t have a single photo from that day other than the one my mom took that turned out badly.  I have great memories, I had a beautiful wedding (with all the photos I could ever want) and now I have my husband.

Remind yourself about why you wanted to be engaged to this man in the first place and let all the comparisons fall away.

Post # 5
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Aah, it’s ok to be disappointed. I get disappointed over things too, and it’s ok, sometimes you can’t help your feelings and venting usually helps. Perhaps you should take a look over at the waiting boards and you’ll see how many ladies are very upset at the lack of a proposal and keep on waiting for it to happen. As far as they’re concerned you’re one of the lucky ones!

Focus on the fact that your man took the big step of asking you to be his wife and you now have a wedding and married life to look forward to. And also remember that men can’t read your mind, he probably had no idea of what expectations you had so he probably proposed in the way he thought was best. I know my Fiance was super super nervous so when he asked the question so words kind of failed him and he didn’t have a long speech, all he said was ‘will you marry me?’ But his eyes said it all and it was still lovely.

What kind of guy is your man? Is he the romantic kind, or is he very good with words? Maybe he was so excited to propose he wanted to do it as soon as possible rather than plan a big day? 

Post # 7
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i dont have a single picture! and that makes me sad. We spent a whole weekend in Charleston when we got engaged and i dont have one single picture.

Post # 8
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

No special story or pictures here. It was more of a practical decision we made!

Post # 9
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

It’s fair to be disappointed, but at the same time you should value what you have instead of missing what you don’t have.

Post # 10
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

nope not one single picture of mine either.

but you know in a weird way its special that way.  It was a special private moment that my Fiance and I shared and only we share those memories.

Post # 12
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

This is a fear of mine.  SO wants the proposal to be a “surprise” and “special” – I’m so afraid that it’s going to be a major letdown.  We’ve set a timeline of the end of October, and I’m afraid that he’s going to let things go to the 11th hour and I’m going to get that, “Sitting-around-the-poker-table-playing-Magic-just-like-any-other-night” proposal.  Undecided

Post # 14
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My husband asked me after we spend the morning cleaning, I was in work clothes & we were at home. Afterward I made a froze pizza for lunch.

My point is that it’s not actual proposing that’s the important part – it’s the desire to make the commitment and the marriage that follows. Besides you can always go out to celebrate your engagement afterwards.

Post # 16
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@cyndistar3: 2 years and he won’t even talk about the wedding?? 🙁 IMO, that’s much more depressing than not having a “great” proposal story.

My husband proposed on a Saturday morning, while we were still in bed. I was wearing a t-shirt, no makeup, hair in a ponytail, etc.

I think there’s a lot of false expectation set by movies/stories/etc. about what a proposal is suppose to look like. It’s a huge decision – my husband said he was incredibly nervous to ask, even though I clearly wasn’t going anywhere and loved our life lol. All proposals are special – some men are less nervous and want to plan a large setup, others are more nervous and ask when they feel the time is right.

 

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