(Closed) Kinda dreading going to my shower- is this normal?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

(((((HUGS))))) maybe ask people to not post your shower pix on FB?

Post # 5
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Definetely not alone. I completely dreaded my shower and didn’t want to have one, but I swear it’s less awful than it sounds and the presents make it easier to deal with.


Good luck!

Post # 6
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Losing 10 – 12 lbs is a big yay! I understand dreading photos. While you can’t stop people from posting on Facebook you can always ask that they don’t and remove any tags if they do.

Post # 7
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Okay, where to begin, huh?


YES. I understand this. I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. They apparently are actually pretty commonly linked, and while my anxiety seems constant, my depression goes in cycles.


My issue is not my weight, but my complete lack of a career. It took me longer than it typically takes someone to go through my undergraduate career, and then I realized, crap I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to use this degree. It was only recently that I realized what I wanted to do, and it has been a struggle to gain experience in that field… so since I am feeling crappy about that aspect of my life I often have avoided groups or friends because I feel like I am a disappointment, or that they will have a thousand questions that I can’t answer.


Recently I have just been more open and honest to my parents and my friends about having anxiety and depression, going to counseling, trying to figure out my life, and while some might not understand it… absolutely no one has been anything but supportive. They love me, and they worry for me more when I pull away, and I’m sure it is the same for your friends and family.


Now, on to my advice to you.


Talk to your mother and BMs about how you are feeling self-conscious and nervous (and thank them gratuitously). They will help calm you down, and remind you about how amazing you are. They are your support system, but they only work if you have the courage to use them. This lesson took me 25 years to learn. They will be able to help field any negative energy you are feeling on the day of the shower, and help you make it as enjoyable as possible.


Please realize your triumphs. Depression is a constant battle, and you have likely had some mini-triumphs to celebrate. Also, you had a broken foot… of course you are going to be less active. However, think about how much you will be able to use this experience in your line of work. You will have had this real life thing that will make you 100% more relatable to your clients. You don’t have to go into detail about your depression to do this.


Do something that makes you feel great physically. Walking, exercise, taking the most amazing bath ever, getting a mani-pedi, dancing around the house. If you are active, even if you aren’t shredding the pounds, you are going to feel a lot better about your body anyway. Also eat well. I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed if I’m eating anything it is chocolate… yeah, not the way to feel better about yourself.


Never underestimate the power of the right dress. Aline or natural waist hitting dresses always make me feel better on my bloated days and I feel a lot less selfconscious. Find that thing in your closet that does this for you.


Whenever you start to get panicked find your thing... for me it is dancing and music or going on a walk or yoga. Seriously. All of these things keep my mind from racing and creating ever possible thing that could go wrong at a certain event.


I don’t know you, but I have a very soft spot for people that suffer some of the same afflictions as me. I hope it goes well. I am sending you the best energy/vibes/thoughts I can muster. I hope you can see this as a practice run for your wedding as far as being around large groups is concerned. Best wishes, bee-friend.

Editing to add: Every woman has their insecurities (I mean look at your SIL). If you can keep this in mind, perhaps what everyone thinks of your weight gain won’t have as much power of you. 🙂



Post # 8
15 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I second doing something to make yourself feel great the day of your shower…get your hair  done or have someone do your makeup for you…whatever will give u a little boost of confidence! 

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