Post # 1
I have always dreamt of this big romantic valenines day where my husband/fiance/boyfriend, planned some romantic overthe top with lovey dovey flowers and candles and dinner and…. wel… nothing like this has ever happened. Infact, I feel like I am the one putting more into this than he is! He had flowers delivered yesterday and they are very pretty. Not complaining about those. Saturday he decided to surprise me with an “early v-day” gift and took me to the zoo. I have been deying to go for over a year now, we have just never had time. And while I had fun and it was certainly something I have wanted, it wasn’t romantic… but I can’t complain because he worked really hard to find a zoo with actual animals out this time of year! (Most were still inside but whatev’s. it was fun.) and tonight I am the one making this big fancy dinner with a surprise bacon bouquet for him with a fancy table set-up, candles and music playing when he gets home from work and some special “fun” tonight that, honestly, I am not really in the mood for but I already insinuated last night that it would be happening and Lord knows he is going to be worked up for it! lol Tonight, he is making a dessert… That’s it. Now, I understand that Valentines is just another day to show your love but he has never really been able to pull off any big romatic gensture and I always kinda hope that days like this it will happen.
The problem to all this is, he tries. He really really does. And I am honestly greatful for the things he has already done this year! I truely am! I know he put alot of thought into them. I just hate feeling like on valentines day, I am the one trying to be the uber romantic. I have told him how I feel and have given him ideas but none have come to fruition. Ugh… Oh well. Maybe next year right?
EDIT: I am just being ungreatful I guess. Because you guys are so right. And he is honestly the most loving man I have ever met. I am lucky to be married to such a truely amazing man. I know that he put some real thought into everything he has done. Looks like I just needed you guys to whack me upside the head today! Thanks. Looks like it is time to get off my pathetic butt and get to work on that bacon bouquet. He deserves it!
Post # 3
It sounds like he’s already done a couple things for you, both of which were very nice. Some guys just don’t get crazy about Valentine’s Day. Have you ever told him what you wanted him to do?
I guess I’d be tickled pink at this point, lol. Darling Husband and I do next to nothing for Valentine’s.
Post # 4
It it makes you feel any better my Fiance and I didn’t / won’t be doing anything for Valentine’s day. We both work all day and tonight he has school. So I’ll be sitting on the couch with a pizza waiting for him to get home at 10 pm. You should be grateful for what you have. There are alot of men out there that barely even acknowledge Valentines Day. I would totally trade with you! 😉 lol!
Post # 5
Uhm, going to have to say that that sounds like a really lovely Valentine’s day/day before. I think you’re putting too much pressure on you and him to be lovey dovey and romantic, when you’ve got great stuff happening right in front of you.
Post # 5
I think some people (myself included) just don’t put much weight on Valentine’s Day. When I was growing up, my parents never did gifts/flowers/fancy dinners or even cards on VDay…they said it wasn’t something adults did lol! When I was older and asked my mom if they had done things when they were younger she kind of laughed and said “eh, Jews don’t really do that”…maybe more of a generational thing since VDay is so completely secularized in my eyes now but perhaps (I bring this up since I recall that your hubby is Jewish). I think that it sounds like he is trying, and probably he thinks he’s doing a good job! Plus he may have gotten the hint that you’re the better romantic and will cover most of the gushy stuff for VDay. If you want him to take on that responsibility you may need to tell him that directly.
Post # 6
Guys (well at least every guy I ever dated) are dense.
You have to tell them everything you want. Those huge romantic gestures you see in movies never happen in real life unless someone tells the man what to do.
If you dont want to tell him yourself, then have a friend of yours do it.
I helped a gy friend of mine plan a nice romantic evening for his wife (after she had told me how sick she was of him never doing anything romantic for her) that she loved. Men need that push. They won’t come up with it themselves. Women are more detail oriented. Men don’t seem to sare much about that sort of stuff.
You should have a talk with him about what you want but tread carefully. It sounds like he already did a bunch of nice things for you and he may be hurt that you aren’t appreciating his attempts enough.
Post # 7
@hisgoosiegirl: And I feel guilty for feeling this way! Because he has done stuff! It just isn’t the uber romantic valentines I have told him I want. I don’t think he really understands. He says he does, but I don’t think so. Maybe I just feel like this because everything has been so spread out it doesn’t feel like it was all for today? I can kinda see that being part of this. Ugh…. I am a terrible person.
Post # 8
I understand what you are saying…I know you are greatfull and everything that he has done for you so far has been really nice!! Its ture most guys do not go all out for V day and as girls we always expect this fairytail things to happen on this day (I am one of them trust me) BUT the day is not over yet!! you dont know maybe he has something else up his sleeve! 🙂 keep your head up and just enjoy the evening. what matters the most is you have the man of your dreams and he loves you. 🙂
HAPPY V DAY! 🙂
Post # 9
It sounds like he has already done a lot to try to make your valentine’s day special. I think a lot of girls forget that it is the guy’s valentines day too… Most girls expect their guy to go all crazy but forget that they should make an effort for their guy.
I would just try to appreciate what he has already done – most girls don’t get that much =)
Post # 10
Have you ever actually talked to him about what you are dreaming about/expect? Because it’s awfully unfair for you to expect him to read your mind, and then get disappointed about it!
Post # 11
I am just being ungreatful I guess. Because you guys are so right. And he is honestly the most loving man I have ever met and I know that he put some real thought into everything he has done. Looks like I just needed you guys to whack me upside the head today!
Post # 12
I agree that you should tell him what your expectations are for Valentine’s Day. I find that, when I’m disappointed in my fiance, it’s usually because I haven’t communicated my expectations. He’s usually happy to oblige if I tell him what I want (i.e. if I tell him I want to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a romantic, over-the-top way…I don’t tell him what to do SPECIFICALLY, that would ruin the romance 🙂 )
Post # 13
@crayfish: I have. We talked about it a few weeks ago when he flat out asked me.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2012 - The Old Field Club
I can completely understand where you are coming from- when I first starting dating Mr Elk, he was my first relationship that coincided with Vday, and I was super pumped for the most romatic display ever. His idea- a tshirt that said “I <3 Irish Boys”….not even joking.
I was super dissapointed. It took 4 years into our relationship before he even brought me flowers. But over the years, I’ve realized that all the good about him and who is outweighs the lack of romantic gestures. I have come to realize that is not who he is. He does not think in terms of romance or sentiment. But I have chosen to be with him, and I have accepted that I won’t really change him. I thiknk you need to realize that your husband is trying, and you may have to accept that you won’t ever get the true romantic gesture you are hoping for….
Post # 15
Something I learned a long time ago was not to get mad at my hubby because he failed to meet something that I expected of him, but he didnt know. They arent mind readers! I’m sorry you are upset and have definietly been there before ! It sounds like he did put extra thought into it- making the effort to go to the zoo since you had been wanting to! Try not to be too upset!
ETA: Sorry just saw that you did let him know what you were expecting. Boys will be boys, and some just aren’t as “romantic” as others! my husband isn’t goign to decorate the house with hearts and light candles, but I’ve learned to appreciate how he does show his love, even if its not what I would have expected!