(Closed) Kinda Gross/TMI: Genital herpes from SO's cold sore…

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

I can’t help you with the herpes thing, but a good way to prevent UTIs is by peeing right after sex. It’s not the most romantic thing, but it works..LOL. 

Post # 4
382 posts
Helper bee

@poppygirl16:  I had a UTI once from sex…it was bad but honestly it’s not the end of the world.  You take meds, you get better.  Ta-da!  It’s just scary to see blood in the toilet but it’s really not so bad once you get the medicine.  Pee after sex and be clean(don’t use harsh soaps) and you’re fine.  I got it because I did A—>V by accident. Bad idea.

As for herpes, it’s pretty uncommon to get genital herpes that way.  Herpes really “prefers” the area it’s meant to go, and if you haven’t gotten it from kissing your SO, most likely you already have the virus in your system (or at least antibodies for it) and are thus unlikely to get it from oral.  I have only heard of that happening to one person…the other people I know with genital herpes got it from parnters who had genital herpes.

Post # 5
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Does he get the cold sores often?  How long has he been getting them?  Would he been open to the idea of taking Valtrex as a preventative for a while?



I get cold sores from time to time.  (not on the nether regions, just my mouth). When I first got them, I had more frequent outbreaks. I used to just take the Valtrex when I had one. After several, I asked the doctor about taking the Valtrex daily for a while. I did it for about a year. I had maybe one sore during that time. I’ve stopped taking it daily for about 6 months now and have not had one yet. FWIW, my husband has not picked up the virus at all. 


As far as protecting yourself, ask him to tell you when he feels his lip start to tingle. Don’t kiss, share cups, silverware, etc. Not until his sore is completely healed.  That’s really all you can do to prevent him spreading it to you.  


The herpes virus is actually really, really common.  You may have been exposed to it already and it’s just dormant. 



hope that helps. 




ETA: regarding passing the “oral” type to the gentials and vice versa: this is actually very common.  I saw the doctor when I had my first cold sore. She swabbed it and was able to tell me it was HSV1 (the cold sore one) but gave me a lot of info about being careful about oral sex and HSV. It only needs contact with bodily fluids or an open wound to get into the body. I knew a girl who would get cold sores on her back/shoulder area. She had a small cut and he Boyfriend or Best Friend kissed her shoulder.  She got sores there. I’m not trying to fear monger-but do inform yourself. Talk to you doctor if you have concerns. 

Post # 7
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m a UTI champ.  Pee right before and right after sex, and make sure you always wear loose, comfortable underwear and wipe front to back.

If you do get one, just get to the doctor asap for antibiotics.  It hurts, but it’s bearable (with booze.)

Post # 8
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

I do seem to get UTIs more often now, but they are never bad enough to go to the doctor. Like I will have definite UTI symptoms for 1-2 days then they go away with just cranberry juice. 

Post # 9
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@poppygirl16:  about 90% of the population has had a cold sore at least once in their life.  It’s pretty much impossible for you to find anyone who’s never had it.  You likely have had it in the past too.  I wouldn’t worry about it.  Just don’t have oral sex while he has an active cold sore.  Just use basic common sense, you know?  Don’t touch cold sores, and you will be fine.

Post # 10
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I get cold sores once in awhile, I’ve never passed it along. It’s incredibly unlikely that you’ll get anything as long as he doesn’t go down there when he’s got an active one. Like seriously almost definitely not gonna happen.


I have an active sex life and have never had a UTI. Be sensible – pee after sex, don’t be dehydrated, don’t change downstairs orifices mid-way, don’t be a sugar addict, and your chances are vastly diminished. You say you’re healthy and not prone to that kind of thing, so you’re probably not going to get it from sex either as long as you aren’t totally careless.

Post # 11
10571 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’ve had a lot of chronic health issues.  Darling Husband has had cold sores, but I haven’t had a problem yet *knock on wood*

I also get a lot of UTIs due to issues with my kidneys, but haven’t gotten one from sex.

Post # 13
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

If you DO get a UTI, in addition to drinking drinking water water until you can get to the doctor, it also helps to take TUMS. Something about the calcium making your pee less acidic, or something. I don’t know.

Post # 15
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

There are cranberry pills you can take that are great. I take them if I feel any UTI-type symptoms coming on and I haven’t gotten one in ages.

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