kinda nervous (maybe TMI)

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I haven’t had this procedure, but I don’t think breaking the hymen hurts that bad. It happens to a lot of women from just using a tampon. My first time having sex hurt, but not terribly bad. Fiance broke my hymen that time because I bled a little. A hysterectomy seems a little intense to avoid painful first intercourse. 

Post # 4
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t have any experience but rest assured that you don’t need to feel uncomfortable in frontof your doctor, he wont be interested in seeing you naked, just getting his job done. Also, some advice.. the first time ALWAYS hurts but if you are extra small/tight down there, it will hurt a LOT! Make sure he spends a lot of time “loosening you up”, it’ll make it hurt less. and don’t be surprised if it doesn’t fit the first time, because it may not.

Post # 5
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@FutureMrsMcDermott:I don’t think she said she’s having a hysterectomy… it’s a hymenotomy.  I’d never heard of it till reading this post, but the way she described it, I’m pretty sure that the doc is just cutting her hymen, not removing her uterus. 

OP–  I’ve never heard of the procedure, but I’m sure everything will go well.  It hurt when I lost my virginity, but it wasn’t too bad.  I have a small frame, but I’m probably not nearly as small as you are from your description, so your experience will probably be different than mine.  Especially since you said the doc couldn’t even fit a finger in..  I hope everything goes well!

Post # 6
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I had a hymenectomy (hymenotomy?) in my mid-teens.  As much as is possible, don’t worry about the doctor seeing you without clothes; the doc is definitely not making that connection–it’s what that type of doctor sees all day!  The procedure also was much less painful (it was really not bad) than I’d anticipated.

I will say, it is a procedure that can make you feel extremely vulnerable; make sure you have someone you love and trust there to take you home afterward, and treat yourself with extra kindness for a few days afterward.  You will be okay!

Post # 8
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I considered having it done myself, actually, but never actually got around to it.  My dr had no trouble with performing paps on me, so I figured it wouldn’t be any different.  If your dr is having trouble even performing paps, I think it’s probably medically necessary so that your first time isn’t awful or you don’t tear so far that you bleed profusely.

My first time on our honeymoon was still painful, but after everything healed up down there, it was just fine!  So, be prepared to still have some pain.  Your hymen may stretch/break further than where your dr cuts it, but hopefully it will alleviate what you WOULD have felt!

Just a tip: take an ice pack on your honeymoon!  I used a bottle of tea from our fridge, and it helped with the soreness I felt on the first few days.  And don’t use tampons to control your bleeding.  You could get an infection from the fibers getting into the ‘wounds’.  Use pantiliners and bring old undies to absorb any fluids/blood the first few times. 

Post # 9
1124 posts
Bumble bee

@Miss Galaxy: I’m the same as you – very modest and my gyno always has to use teeny tools because I’m so small. I just remember that my gyno has seen a million women naked and they try to be as respectful of your privacy as possible. Breaking your hymen isn’t exactly fun (mine broke before my first time having intercourse), but your first time having sex will give you some discomfort with or without it. I think having your doctor cut it is a really good idea and will make having sex on your honeymoon a lot less painful. It’s really sweet that your Fiance is concerned and wants to make it as comfortable as possible for you ๐Ÿ™‚

Have you considered buying some KY for your honeymoon? It really helps my poor tiny vagina accomodate my FH’s size. I second the icepack idea as well!

Post # 11
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I just wanted to jump in and mention this, in case this is still the situation for you after getting hitched and having your first time.

There is a condition called vaginismus where when a woman is uncomfortable with the idea of sex, taught to be afraid of it, or just uninformed about how it works, her pelvic floor muscles unconsciously contract and make intercourse (or penetration with a speculum or tampon etc) really, really painful if not impossible. Usually a woman first realizes something is wrong when she can’t insert a tampon or have a pap or insert a finger. The space is not actually that small, it’s just that the muscles are (unintentionally) clenched.

Sometimes doctors suggest cutting the hymen for that condition, when really what’s needed is physical therapy. The cure rate is very high. But it can be hard to get it diagnosed because a lot docs don’t understand it or even know it exists. There’s a website,, that explains more.

I am sure if your doctor has looked at you and said the issue is your hymen, that’s what’s going on. I just wanted to mention it just in case.

Post # 12
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Miss Galaxy: You’ll be fine, but good luck just in case. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have a difficult time usng tampons as well. I saw my GYNO a few weeks ago for the first time and he couldnt even get the tool in there, ugh it was awful. He suggested I start using tampons to stretch out the vagina so that when I do have sex it will be less painful. Hope it goes well for you.

Post # 14
1 posts
  • Wedding: December 2011

I am having this done soon so am curious as to how the procedure went.  Did it hurt? Were you in pain? How long was the recovery?

Post # 15
2211 posts
Buzzing bee

The procedure will go fine! It may seem very evasive but it seems simple and they don’t have to cut you open or anything like that. I’m not sure how much more comfortable sex will be the first time without the hymen though. My first time was just uncomfortable not painful, but just different. I think you will still get that feeling regardless. Good luck bee!

Also, please don’t worry about your doctor. If you feel uncomfortable the whole procedure will not be pleasant (not that it will be to begin with but it will just make it worse). Try to relax and trust your doctor. 

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