(Closed) kinda new here….already a VENT

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Welcome to the hive… feel free to vent away!  All of us do it. 🙂

Post # 4
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It’s never too early to start looking at your options… That way you know what you like and you can get the price for it. welcome to the bee!!!

Post # 5
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Welcome!  I’m sorry you’re frustrated!  I think it’s really up to you about when you should start really planning (i.e. booking venues, photographers, picking out the dress, etc.)  My engagement will be 1 1/2 years long (Dec 08 – July 10).  I didn’t do any planning for the first 9 months or so.  Around that time, I finally felt ready to do some planning.  For me, a year and a half was just too far away to make a lot of decisions (but that’s different for everyone).  


One warning however – the earlier you make decisions, the more time you have to change your mind…  I would change some of the earliest decision I made if I could (and some I did – like buy a second wedding dress because I decided I hated the first one).

Post # 6
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Welcome! Its ok but dont let your Maid/Matron of Honor steal the sunshine that is your day. Whenever you need to talk wedding this is the place to do it no one will their eyes ( well visibly lol im just kidding of course) or be rude to you because we are all in your shoes or have been in your shoes at some point so welcome to Wedding Bee ! <3

Post # 7
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Welcome! If your Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t planned a wedding, she might not know how long it takes, so don’t be too upset about her comments. I think she’s actually right about the fact that you should start looking at venues before getting into the details. If you do feel like she’s just trying to put you down, she might just be jealous of you…if that’s the case, I would not involve her in the planning more than necessary. 

That said, she has a point. It is VERY early to be looking at bridesmaids dresses. If you want to get some DIY projects started that’s one thing, since that only involves you. But asking other people to choose and buy dresses for a wedding that’s 1.5 years away might not the the best idea. So much could change before then – tastes, weight loss/gain, even changing your bridal party. 

So don’t stress – you have a lot of time. If you really want to start planning now, figure out the big things, like venue. That will absolutely influence the look of your wedding and the kinds of dresses and DIY projects you choose. 

Post # 8
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Welcome to the hive!

As a bride with a loooong engagement, I can relate. I would seriously advise against nailing down any details until you’re a little closer to the date. Get the biggies figured out (venue, dress, etc) but save the small details for later! I gathered lots of ideas & changed my mind 100 times. I would have saved a lot more money had I just waited on what I wanted for invites, placecards, favors, etc…. 🙂

You’re going to change your mind a lot, so just use this extra time to gather super awesome ideas & enjoy posting around the hive!

Post # 9
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Welcome!!! Don’t worry we love vents!!!! 

Post # 10
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Welcome, and congrats on your engagement! I hate to start off on a negative note, but I do think that you might want to hold off a little on choosing Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, especially before picking a venue. I’d suggest making a tentative guest list and budget first, to give you an idea of how many people you’ll be inviting and what you can afford. After that, the first thing I’d research is a venue. If you choose a venue and the decor totally clashes with the colors you want to use, it might necessitate changing the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress colors, DIY crafts, etc. Plus, a lot of venues have exclusive vendors, so there might not be much of a point researching a bunch of different florists, caterers, bakeries, etc.

Post # 11
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

Welcome! We have a long engagement too (got engaged in August of ’09 and are getting married in January), and I totally understand your frustration! I wanted to get started on stuff right away too, because I’m a huge planner, and everyone kept rolling their eyes at me and telling me I have forever. I’m 9 months away from the wedding now, and I still get that sometimes!!! 

I definitely don’t think it’s too early for big things like the venue, photographer, etc (we booked our photographer in September and she already had someone else asking about our date!!!) but I agree with everyone else that you should hold off on big things until you get closer. Things will change, and it would be horrible for you to regret decisions you’ve made that you can’t do anything about! My girls haven’t even started thinking about Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and probably won’t until sometime this summer. I’d say that if you want to work on DIY projects and whatnot that’s great, but I would advise waiting on your girls dresses!

Post # 13
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Hi! I used to hear criticism over planning too early (18 month engagement and I started right away) but then 3 of the first 4 photographers I looked into were already booked! I quickly got over caring about other people’s judgments of when I “should” be planning and just started doing things at the pace that felt right for me. I had invites done over a year in advance, and I was glad I had made decisions up front and based on what my Fiance and I wanted.

Like some of the others, I’d start with venue and vendors (photographer, cake, florist, etc.) but if you feel confident in decisions like your dress, go ahead and get it taken care of!

Also, I am sad to say this, but based on my experience, I think that no one is really as excited as the bride until a few months before the wedding. And in my time on the Bee, I’ve read that from a lot of brides. I’m happy for those who didn’t have that experience, but it was certainly mine.

Post # 16
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I know it might seem impossible to choose a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. However, let me assure you it’s not that bad. I have five girls, none of them knew each other. Two live in foreign countries, two live in other states, only one is in the same city as me. They range from size 0 to size 10 with different skin, hair, height, etc.

We did the dresses 8 months out because I chose a dress that was being discontinued. It was not that hard. I promise you don’t need to think about it for many more months. Yes, it might take a few shopping trips and a lot of emails back and forth. But it is not going to take a year and a half. 

Also, your sister (and possibly other BMs) might not agree with ANY dresses right now just because it’s so early and they don’t know what they want / don’t want to think about it. 

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