(Closed) Kinda want to elope but I know that won’t really happen

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can definitely understand that. I’m convinced I’ll trip and fall flat on my face, or mess up my vows in some ridiculous way. 

I don’t think weddings would be nearly as nerve wracking if there weren’t so many “obligatory” guests. I know we have more obligatory guests (100) than people we really want there (about 75) – crazy! 

Post # 4
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i have that same massive stage freight, and because of that (and some other things) we decided on a smaller 30 person ceremony. right after the ceremony we had a reception with all of the people because my husband wanted all of our friends and family there. when i say reception i mean dinner with no wedding traditions- cake cutting, bouquet toss, dancing, etc. because i felt like people would have to look at me during these things, and i didn’t want that.

i had a small ceremony so i can’t speak for a 200 person one, but i really didn’t notice anything going on around me. i even made a mental note to look at the flowers in the aisle b/c i wanted to know how they came out, i had to wait until people posted pictures to see them. my husband and i even had doubts that our photographer was at the ceremony because we both just didn’t notice him until we saw him in people’s pictures. one of my friend commented about how bad it was that a car had their radio blasting through a lot of the ceremony, i had no idea until we watched our video. it’s like i wasn’t even there, i was just so focused on getting married.

Post # 6
640 posts
Busy bee

Could you elope for the ceremony (what you want) and then have a big party when you return (what your Fiance wants)? That way you both get what you want, but you don’t have as much attention on you? Maybe if you emphasized how nervous you will be in front of your guests to Fiance he will be willing to compromise. 

Post # 7
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well, marriage is all about compromising so maybe you guys could still have wedding guests but just seriously downscale.

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