(Closed) Knock it off, seriously.

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 62
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I can appreciate the sentiment of the rant, but the title is a bit… much – and I don’t think anyone would accuse me of being a member of the fluffy bunny contingent.  That and, for a person who takes great offense at being patronized, you seem to be leaning rather heavily on the sarcasm-laden condescention as a mode of communication.

It’s pretty much a given that a post on a public forum will generate at least a few irritating, frustrating, useless or indecipherable responses.  Either address them in the thread in which they appear or let it go.  Devoting an entire thread to making blanket proclamations about a minority of comments within a further minority of posts is unproductive.

Post # 63
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@daniellemybelle: Everything you said I could say!

 

First of all, Waiting never ends. You go from the anticipation and everything in your mind for your engagement to waiting for everything in your mind about the wedding to happen. Then that happens and soon enough your waiting to see your first baby born. And then 2nd… and then your anxiously waiting to see the first day of school…. Prom, Graduations, then seeing their wedding and grand children.

WAITING NEVER ENDS!

Once a waiting bee does graduate to all the “planning” boards, you will still see responses like, “Relax and chill, it’s just paper.” So those responses aren’t “unique” to waiting boards. And, I do imagine that for some people, that is very important paper, how dare someone say I chill?

But, this is the internet. This is a forum. You will get diverse opinions and reactions. People here are conservative and liberal. Democrat and Republican, independent, etc… Maybe it doesn’t seem helpful but when you post in a public forum, you’re going to get a ton of responses. If a response doesn’t “help” then move on to the next….

I really enjoyed my time on the waiting boards. We were a bit different in that, he had asked my dad, picked out the ring, booked the photographer and church (due to needing 12 months notice) and then he sat around on the ring until 6 weeks later when my parents were in town. Of course I was going crazy, waiting! But I still go crazy, just over different things πŸ˜‰ Like buying a house… the wedding plans, etc… 

I kinda avoided this thread for a while, but I couldn’t help myself anymore πŸ™‚ Just know that those responses aren’t unique to the waiting boards, you’ll get them throughout your time here, in real life, and any other internet forums. Life is exciting right now, and it’s going to fly by! I wish i was able to enjoy that time in our relationship better and “chill” about the whole waiting thing… 

 

Post # 64
Member
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@teaadntoast: Heck yeah. I totally agree with every single thing you said.

Post # 65
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@teaadntoast: ditto

Post # 66
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t know if I can add anything to what Danadelphia, FutureMrsMartin, TheMcBride have said–well put guys! 

I understand how you feel.  I was on the waiting boards for a while before we got engaged–as a matter of fact, I stumbled across the boards a couple months after we started talking about getting married.  I feel so lucky to have come across a place where there were tons of people who understood how I felt.  Now months into our engagement, my Fiance will even credit the WB with helping me through that time.  The support and encouragement helped us keep the lines of communication open (good or bad) and let me know that being anxious to marry the love of my life was nothing to be ashamed about. 

I think that part of posting anything on the internet is that everyone has the right to respond.  I absolutely hated when someone would respond with “I never waited, and I don’t understand what the big deal is…” Because it felt like it was an attempt to invalidate me and disparage me. Waiting sucks, big time.  And I would hope that people that don’t understand that can decide to hold their tongues if they aren’t going to be supportive. 

I’ve stayed away from the Waiting boards for a while now.  Because I don’t want to come off as smug or condescending.  You can almost feel the tension sometimes between comments from those that are waiting and not. 

Lastly–go ahead and vent if you need to!  Afterall, isn’t that what the waiting boards are for?

Post # 67
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

The problem I have with the “waiting’ board is that I think it sounds sexist or something. Like all unmarried women do is sit around and WAIT and psychotically plan weddings when they aren’t engaged.  I’m not saying that’s what anyone is doing, but really I think the name of the board implies that. I wish they would change it-it gives people the wrong idea and maybe that is why they come here with shaking figners. It’s 2010 we shouldn’t be waiting around for men to decide our futures.

Post # 68
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

By The Way I am sad that some engaged/married Bees don’t feel welcome here.  Especially if he waiting boards really got you “through it” during the days/months/years before the proposal.

I personally do want to hear from you and appreciate hearing what works!

View original reply
@FMM: Thank you πŸ™‚

Post # 69
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

View original reply
@flamingred: I feel the same way. I wish I could just block the waiting board completely sometimes. 

Post # 71
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@teaadntoast: you’re my favorite. i would have said something similar, if i could have put it as eloquently. πŸ™‚

 

Post # 72
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m probably guilty of telling people to not focus on waiting. My attitude on life is don’t waste your time worrying, enjoy where you are with what you’ve got. Not that I’ve never worried about something, or that life is super easy for me. I’ve dealt with A LOT, but I never dealt with “waiting” so maybe I can’t relate as much there. I read stories of ladies who sound like they’re miserable cause they’re not yet engaged & I try to help them out. Honestly, sometimes when I’m stressing over something & I talk with a friend & they tell me “hey, don’t stress, focus on this”, it helps me.

My conclusion with this post: I’ll probably just not comment on the waiting board if it upsets people so much.

Post # 73
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

View original reply
@lezlers: I just laughed out loud at work at the fluffy bunny remark, and you are right, people do tend to get their feathers ruffled when everyone’s comments are not all hearts and flowers.

I honestly believe that the comments made on posts to just “enjoy it, relax, and stop worrying about wanting it to happen” are written with kindness and they only mean to say that it would be a shame to look back on the pre-engagement period as one of worrying and angst.

You are right though, it is so much more helpful when people just say, “It sucked, I feel ya, you’ll get through it though, I promise”. Or offer helpful advise, much like danadelphia did earlier in this post.

I think it was good that you brought this to everyone’s attention. Maybe a little nicer with the post title next time though? I think it put some people on the defense from the get go

Post # 76
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Nicely Put!!!!

The topic ‘Knock it off, seriously.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors