Knowing I'll be fertile on honeymoon causing anxiety to have sex

posted 1 year ago in Honeymoons
  • poll: Would you...
    Avoid intercourse, do other fun stuff instead : (6 votes)
    3 %
    Go at it with condoms! : (173 votes)
    79 %
    You'e worrying too much : (39 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 61
    341 posts
    Helper bee

    alliebamabride :  What is the reason for no hormonal BC? For what it’s worth, I’m on the progesterone only pill, or “mini pill” (Jolivette to be specific).. It has no estrogen in it, which is the hormone that caauses all the side effects, throwing up, risk of blood clots, etc. Those are all tied to estrogen, which my pill doesn’t have. Only negative is it’s more sensitive to needing to be taken at the same time everyday, more sensitive than normal pills. I had to request it when I kept throwing up on other meds! 

    I’m divorced now, but I was so paranoid when I was married we used condoms and my BC haha! 


    EDIT: Just read your reasoning. Same as above! All the scary side effects are tied to estrogen, which isn’t in the progesterone only pill! Maybe just look into it and talk to your doctor about it. Like I said, she wanted to put me on Yaz and I had to put my foot down and ask for this one. No side effects, no risk of blood clots, no nausea and vomiting!

    Post # 62
    815 posts
    Busy bee

    alliebamabride :  as an alternative view, my pill leveled out my hormones immensely. I don’t PMS like I used to, my periods are light, and I have no cramping or bloating or fatigue. Everyone reacts to hormones differently. For me, it was an amazing choice that supremely benefited my state of mind and my body. 

    I don’t think anyone thinks you aren’t being cautious enough, they’re just recommending more reliable birth control so that you relax and stop stressing out over something that’s not a big deal. 

    Post # 63
    8054 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Condoms could be a good option, but since both of you are inexperienced, I’d worry that it might be difficult to master the first time around. Is the person who steered you away from IUD your pcp or gynecologist? I would seek a second opinion. Having contraception in place before you become sexually active is a responsible thing to do, and your provider should be able to discuss the risks and benefits of each option and help you decide what best fits your needs. 

    Post # 64
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I didn’t read all the replies so sorry if this has been mentioned but I would bring condoms (both latex and non latex in case you have a sensitivity you don’t know about). I would also pick up a morning after pill and bring it along in case the condom breaks so that you don’t have to worry about tracking one down or spending your honeymoon worried that you’re going to get pregnant. I would also make sure you know how to properly store, put on and use condoms before the heat of the moment. Just be prepared and you won’t need to stress. 

    Post # 65
    380 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I wouldnt recommend an iud for somebody who hasnt had a child, the insertion is a lot more painful and cumbersome. She can only try the condoms to see if she likes it, if theres an oopsie then theres the morning after pill within the certified time limit and then if OP wants to… Birth control as in the depo injection or pills- or even the implant in the arm. 

    Its all personal preference though, you dont know until you’ve tried and right now.., you havent tried 🙂

    Post # 66
    2310 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    sex education makes out like one time makes you pregnant… its a possability of course but not common (esspecially with protection like condoms, you can get spermacide lube aswell) but the reality is in an average fertile person it take 3 months to concieve and can take up to 12 and 1 in 10 of all couples are infertile (thats quite a lot)

    take precausions if you want but statistics of getting pregnant esspecially if you use a condom are very low

    Post # 67
    3004 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    alliebamabride :  I’d use a condom if you are worried and tell him to hold onto it at the base as he pulls out after he has orgasmed. Holding onto it when pulling out will prevent it spilling or getting stuck and slippibg off.

    Make sure that you also pull it at the tip of the condom ( bit that looks like a nipple 😉 )when you put it on to get rid of any air pockets. The air bubbles can cause it to burst.

    The charting method can be good if you have regular cycles but 93.5% accuracy rate is still less effective than condoms and other prevention methods. If you really don’t want kids now I would look into extra methods. Happy honeymooning  to you both! 🙂

    Post # 68
    29 posts

    I had the copper IUD placed maybe 2 or more years ago! I love it and would totally reccomend it because of how easy it is! My periods werent heavier or longer at all just a little more crampy but nothing a heating pad couldnt help with. The insertion is the only part that I hated because… well its painful! But worth it to not deal with condoms any more. I also had never had kids either. But all in all, its extremely effective and super. No babies after all this time! 

    Post # 69
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I highly recommend an IUD. If you get one, get it asap since the first few months are when it’s the biggest chance of it coming out or something happening to reduce effectiveness, or having side effects. But, once it’s in properly, it’s about as effective as if one of you was sterilized. I’ve been on one with years with no tracking and no scares, personally. Second choice would be the pill. But if you go with condoms, I’d recommend the lamb skin type as a married couple you wouldn’t have concerns about STIs I’d think, and consider spermicidal lubes or something like that. 

    Post # 70
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    kreeneth :  the insertion is more painful, but you get a pill to help dialate. I had one with no pregnancies and while it hurt for about a day, I took painkillers and lived through it. One painful day is worth 5 years of no issues and no need to remember pills (which I took for years before). My sister got an iud after 2 children and it didn’t hurt at all, so it does tend to hurt more with no pregnancies, but may be worth it.

    not a fan of the arm implant personally for many reasons. Only person I know who had it had to take it out soon after because of issues.

    also, you maybe be able to get the morning after pill shipped to you ( used to have it for like $50 I think) or over the counter at a pharmacy. Could be an option to take to the honeymoon as a backup, but it may cause massive pain and cramping if you do need to take it.

    out of nearly a decade of b.c. Pills and other methods, I personally have had the most success by FAR with the mirena

    Post # 71
    925 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Get some condoms and have at it. Seriously! I know a couple who waited until their wedding night (religious reasons) both virgins and they used condoms for five years. They got pregnant the first month trying with both children. So they were very fertile but no issues using condoms. Don’t worry so much just put it on properly and don’t use the pull out method as well. If he fumbles to pull out you do risk the condom coming off it’s safer to finish inside and then remov correctly by him finding the top of the condom and holding it while pulling out. Just google how to put on a condom and you get step by step drawings.


    Post # 72
    21 posts
    • Wedding: January 2017


    Dont worry too much because millions of people are having sex when they’re fertile without getting pregnant! 

    Make sure to keep morning-after pills with you! 

    Post # 73
    2723 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    My mom was one of those lucky few who got horrible side effects from hormonal BC, and her back up method was a diaphragm. It’s old school but see if you can find an OB/GYN who can have you fitted for one? 

    Post # 74
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    So I don’t care if Lady Comp is an app or a software or whatever (there isn’t actually a difference, apps aren’t just things you download on your phone, that word means application which is very technical and well developed software capable of lots of calculations) but why did you pay for something expensive to track your fetrility when it doesn’t matter since you aren’t sexually active?

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