Post # 1
I got married two months ago and I cant say it has being two good months. Last night I try to cover me with the blanket that was under my husband’s leg and I woke him up. He started to course and I repeat his words to make him hear what he was saying and how hard it sounds, then he stand up call me bitch and left the room. I told him “you call me bitch!!!!!!” He said sorry and that I woke him up, I told him “I need to cover becouse I was cold” and he went down stairs to sleep. I couldnt sleep anymore last night, I cant do it everytime he start to course when i wake him up accidentally. I told him allready but he just said he cant do anything, he says he speaks on sleep. I was crying the hole morning, its the second time he call me bitch in similar siituation. I dont know what to do. We are having issues. He told me “fuck you” for money issues and for insisting him with somethings I wanted to be done. Aswell he yalle to me a couple of times, the first time was the day of my wedding becouse I ask him to wash the car we was going to use to drive to the ceremony on the time he thought he could have a knapp while everybody was like a crazy preparing things. During the first month I thought It would change, that everything was becouse the stress and that we was just getting use to each other, now in my second month, I just think I cryied to much, he is nothing what I was specting. I am looking for therapy help and thinking on moving out of the house. I hate him so intense sometimes and I never felt again was I was feeling before we married. I really thing it was a mistake and I dont know what to do. Am I too sensitive? Do I have a wrong spectation of the married. Did I spected a prince that was going to be allways respectful and caring no matter what? Or is he really a verbal abuser?, please, help
Post # 3
((BIG HUGS)) I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. Yes, this does sound as though he’s verbally abusing you. And any kind of abuse is wrong, including verbal. You never should be cursed at, no matter what his excuse or reason – it’s just disrespectful.
I think your idea to get counseling for yourself is a good one. Would your husband be willing to go to counseling with you?
Post # 4
I dont thing so, he recognise we have big problems, I dont say it’s just him, but when we spoke about it he said to me he it is too soon to go to a conselor. He was regret this morning when he saw my crying but dont think it will make him to change his behavior. He is aggressive when get frustrate and punch things, yalle and curse a lot. I don’t think he will ever touch me but I am stream unhappy sharing my life with someone so primitive and it comes out the worst in me. Like reapinting his cursing last night when he woke up. I know that if would just say sorry and explian him why I woke him up he would call me Bitch, but I am so tired, frustrate, ungry and desenchanted of his cursins.
I know he needs help to contlor his anger problem but he will never recognise and even less to look for help becouse I ask him to do it.
What should I do? I am alone here and family far away…
Post # 5
@Issybell: If he won’t go to speak to a counselor with you, then you should make an appointment and go by yourself.
It is wrong for him to treat you this way. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Hopefully the counselor can help you. Don’t keep this to yourself, get some help from someone before his behavior escalates.
In the meantime, try to stay calm with him because you don’t want to trigger an episode of abuse. Most of the time abuse tends to worsen, not get better. With a person who is abusive pointing out their abuse does not work for anything except making them more angry.
I wish you all the best!!