(Closed) korean brides/grooms

posted 8 years ago in East Asian
Post # 3
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m happy to hear that your family has come to accept your Fiance and support your relationship.^^  I’m Canadian (Scottish-German background) living in Korea and engaged to a Korean.  His parents were very very anti-me for a long time (previous to that I was a secret).  The funny thing is that most of his extended family lives in LA or Australia (of course – they all married Koreans).  Anyway, finally when they realized their son was not going to change his opinion, they relented and now are very welcoming!  I do think it helped that he is the youngest son and is 38 Korean age.  If he were younger or the eldest, they would have put up a much bigger fight.  Nevertheless, I don’t dwell on that and am just thankful that everything worked out in the end.^^ His 70 year old father is even studying English at a grandfather’s class which is super cute!

Post # 5
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m half Korean (my mom’s Korean and my dad’s caucasian), so I haven’t had to deal with your situation.  But I do know that when my mom married my dad 29 years ago, her family was NOT happy with her decision and wanted her to marry a Korean man.  I’m glad times are changing to where Korean family’s can accept interracial marriage! or I wouldn’t be around, haha…

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hmmm, I could’ve sworn I posted but it disappeared?

Anyways, i’m 1/4, but my mom is 1/2. And let me tell you, hell broke loose when they got married. Dad’s mom didn’t approve of him marrying someone who wasn’t white with blue eyes and blonde hair. She’s just nasty like that though and it transgressed to my brother and I unfortunately.

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

yay happasLaughing

But yeah, I know that asian communities tend to be very seclusive about this sort of stuff. My Indian friend has dealt with this significantly (she’s marrying a country white boy!) and i have asian friends who have dated outside their rare with very negative feelings about it.

Post # 10
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Hey! I am Korean American born in NY raised by very traditional parents. my parents were very strict about who I dated and did not like any of them. Korean, non korean, but when I was serious about husband who is caucasion I was very worried about introducing him to my family, but my family accepted him immediately and he is now a part of my family as if he was korean. I love it.

Post # 11
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

I’m Korean, born in Seoul and adopted to the US when I was only months old. I grew up in a caucasian family and my Fiance is caucasian as well. Both my family (obviously) and my FI’s family have been very accepting.

However, my Fiance is from a VERY small town with NO Asians so when I go down there I do get a lot of stares wherever I go!

Post # 12
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@patty082810 i completly feel you on the stares wherever you go thing. TOTALLY. just moved to my husband’s small town and yes….i am the asian population of 1.

Post # 13
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m engaged to non-Korean…  He is Taiwanese.  

I know how you feel missjyc…  I was born and raised in Korea until I was 14.  When I first came to the states, it was just me and my siblings with a nanny.  My dad was still working in Korea and visiting us during vacations.  I’ll never forget the conversation I had with my dad when he first visited us.  

Dad: “So… how’s school?  it is hard for you since there are no Koreans?”

Me: “Yeah. But it is ok.  I’m making lots of friends.”

Dad: “Would you date a “white” guy?”

Me: “hmm… why not? if I really like him.”

Dad: “Would you consider marrying one?”

Me: “Why not? if I love him”

At my respond, I remember my dad being very upset and angry.  

Dad: in summery… “You know, you are here so you can have great future… not to marry a non-Korean guy”

I’m not racist or anything but I think from that moment, I never looked at a non-Asian guy and thought “cute”.  

Well… after that conversation with my dad… I had two serious guys… both Taiwanese!!!  I have nothing against my fellow Korean fellas… BUT I couldn’t see myself with one of you ๐Ÿ˜‰

It is sad that my previous bf and current fi couldn’t talk to each other.  I think that was the saddest for me.  There wasn’t much of cultural difference but language barrier was a huge factor.  Because ‘him’ asking my dad was the most important thing (without me knowing).  

Luckily, when my dad met my current fiance, my dad asked, “when… marry?” before my fiance wanted to ask my dad.  I think he gave up on me marrying a Korean guy long time ago… haha… Because they know that if you are happy with your THE ONE, they can’t do anything other than being your number one fan and supporter.  

 

Post # 14
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@ Youngliz – I just saw your post in the ring thread and now here!  Not only are we ring twins, we’re also both Korean gals in OC marrying Taiwanese guys.  What a funny coincidence!

Post # 15
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@zoe:  How funny!  How’s your wedding planning going?  

Post # 16
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I’m so glad I found this thread!  I’m a 1/2 Korean, 1/2 Caucasian Army brat.  When my mom told her family she was marrying an American man they disowned her (early 70s).  When she came to the United States she got lots of hatred from my dad’s father; he was a stodgy Polish man with very opinionated ways.  Over the years though she became his favorite daughter-in-law, and it was amazing to see them both stumbling over their English. 

Growing up though, I was always told by my mom never to marry a black man.  She was very vocal about that, and I still never understood why because she had many friends who had black husbands.  She also wanted me to stay away from Asian men, said they were too controlling, and recommended my ideal man be at least 10 years older than me.  Her views were very old-fashioned!  Nonetheless, a part of me heeded her advice, and I never dated a black man (or an Asian for that matter).  My tastes ran to ordinary white boys, lol.  If you grow up with certain prejudices I think it can be hard to forget them, and that’s how I justify my mom’s irrational viewpoint. 

Anyway, I am finally with the love of my life, and he happens to be black (or “pecan” as he calls it).  My previous relationships were with white men, but the last one was very abusive.  I didn’t turn to black men because of that; I simply fell in love with the individual, and his color was not an issue at all for me.  I won’t lie, my dad & step-mom (who’s also Korean) had some major issues in the beginning.  But after realizing I am FINALLY happy with a man who is sweet, caring, loving, tender, honest, amazing, thoughtful, supportive, protective…….they came to realize that his color doesn’t matter.  My mom is in Heaven right now, but I know she would much rather have me with a kind black man than with a mean white man. 

I do get lots of looks from the Korean community, and I think it’s the same from the black community.  Oh well, I love my beautifully mixed family, and the blending of our cultures is amazing (especially combining Korean food with soul food)!  Holla!!!

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