(Closed) Kosher or not Kosher

posted 7 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My one question would be do any of your guests keep kosher?  If even some of them do I think you need a kosher caterer.

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

But not all caterers can handle doing a true kosher option. They couldn’t prepare it using their knives or pans that has been used with shellfish or pork. I know that many of my friends that are extremely orthodox would eat nothing at your wedding because of this concern. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 7
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If you are not keeping kosher regularly, I just don’t see any reason to spend the crazy amount of money that it takes to have a kosher caterer. My parents used a kosher caterer for my brother’s engagement party but it was luncheon type foods and it was not sit down. They definitely did not do that for the wedding, nor are they doing it for mine. The chazzan (who married them…they were closer to him than the Rabbi) opted not to come to the reception because it was not kosher. Totally his choice – but my parents def. did not get a kosher caterer because of him.

As for your 2-3 friends who keep strictly kosher, if they are indeed fairly strict, they won’t eat anything at your wedding, whether its veg or not. I don’t know how many people you are planning for, but you can’t really base your catering choices around 2-3 people.

Post # 8
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If you only have a few strictly observant I would say go for it. You might forewarn them ahead of time so that they can either eat before hand or have a say in what meal is ordered from them. That might make them more comfortable with it too if they can call up the caterer and chose their own meal. That way they know everything is on the up and up. IDK just a thought ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Bunnygirl: If there are only a few people, just make sure that the other caterer is providing the meals in sealed packages and it is served to the guests sealed–they should be given either silverware from the Kosher caterer or plasticware.

But I think the bigger issue is WHY your fiance wants to use the kosher caterer for the whole wedding? Is it actually more important to him than simply making the guests comfortable?  Is it related to family expectations/traditions?  Does he feel like the idea of the wedding is bringing up issues of faith/observance and he actually has a real desire for it for himself?  It really seems like if he is pushing the issue that there is probably a bit more to it, and you should at least ask if it relates to any of those points (since you’re opposed, and bring up the VERY valid point about the incredible extra cost, he may just be wary to bring it up on his own if it is along the lines of ‘because I always thought it would be this way and want it’).

On the other hand, you can get amazing kosher food at (relative to other kosher caterers) not terrifying prices–one hint is to look for caterers in areas with large Sephardic communities lol.

Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Could also do a fish option if you are concerned about the few that keep more kosher only having the vegetarian option, that is what we are doing. 

Post # 14
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

You could always have a dairy, all vegetarian meal…just saying ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Post # 16
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had also heard of stories where conservative rabbis wouldn’t marry couples who didn’t serve kosher food at the wedding.  We found a conservative rabbi who agreed to officiate our ceremony despite the un-kosher meal being served at the reception (although she did push for us to look into the option of using a kosher caterer).  She’s choosing not to attend the reception because of our choice not to serve kosher food.  Good luck in your quest to find a rabbi. I’m sure you’ll be able to find one that will officiate your wedding.

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