Post # 1
Let me tell you their is no wedding better than a Mexican wedding! For you white people that are reading this go to a Mexican wedding and be prepared for the time of your life!
Probably the most popular phrase you will hear at a Mexican wedding is guys trying to get the girls attention with this sound…”shhtt…shhtt!!” That is like a sentence in the Mexican Culture!! Translated that literally means, “DAMN, THAT CHICK IS FINE!” But you have to be careful at a Mexican wedding, cause once you see a girl you like, you have to ask yourself…”Shiiit, She looks gooood, I hope she’s not related to me!” Because everyone is related to you at the wedding! I have cousins I never met in my life and it seems like every time I go to a wedding I meet a new member of the family! I’ll be making out with some chick and then I hear in the background…”That’s your cousin!!!” Ahhhhgggg man!!! THAT SUCKS!!!
Anyway, first it starts off with the invitations. A Mexican wedding starts to be planned out for about 200 people, but at the end about 5,000 people show up! You could start with one invitation and word of mouth just spreads and spreads!! We pull up to a corner, “Hey Chuy! My cousin Martha is getting married. Follow Me!” Comadres telling comadres, “Did you here that menso is getting married? Yeah, to that putita Martha!” People show up that you never even seen in your life!
At church the bridesmaids all have a pisst-off look on their face cause they are stuck wearing some fucked up dress that the bride picked. Some black and pink, strapless, floor-length dress, about four sizes to small! First of all, the average Mexican woman is not to skinny, she’s thick. Second, stick that thick Mexican woman in a strapless dress and you got “lonjas” sticking out like crazy! It looks like her skin is running away from her body. And the hole time you can tell that they are thinking, “For my wedding you are going dressed as a fucking leprechaun, bitch!”
At the reception, in the city community center, there is always that group of “macho” men in tejana hats kicking it right by the beer kegs. That keg gets no rest! It flows and flows all night! And if it runs out…NOT A PROBLEM “El Padrino de Cerveza” will hook up some more! I think we are the only people that have someone in charge of beer listed in our invitations. I wouldn’t be surprised if at the church the father calls up the padrino de cerveza to bless the keg pump for good luck.
The food is always Carnitas or Birria. Nothing else! And we don’t get a cater to make the food or serve it! Fuck no, why are you going to pay someone when you can get your grandpa to go to the farm and kill a pig? Once you got that then you can have grandma and your ten tias to cook all fucking night! Of course this causes the meat to be all dry and taste like shit…but we don’t care, cause we still manage to take three to four plates home! There is no way you can go to a Mexican wedding and go home empty handed. If you go home without a plate, then you better make up for it by taking the centerpiece at your table.
But what I love the most is the dollar dance! This is when you get to dance with the bride or the groom for a buck! GREAT DEAL huh! But it’s also when the couple has their first official fight as newly weds! Because right after the dollar dance they have that traditional dance together and the bride will be like. “So Carlos, Who tip you the Fifty?? hmmm?? Was it that PUTA GLORiA???!!!!”
You know I’ve actually seen on wedding invitations of white couples “please no children.” THAT CRACKS ME UP!! DO YOU THINK WE LISTEN TO THAT? Hell no, we take our little beaner kids and they run around all crazy, hiding under the brides dress, picking at the cake, and causing mayhem all over!
Anyway, my point is that if you want to have fun, go to a Mexican wedding. The culture shock is entertaining.
I RAN ACROSS THIS ON A BLOG & THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS. HOPE YOU GET A LAUGH OUT OF IT WITHOUT GETTING OFFENDED!
Post # 3
LMFAO!!!! so true… i keep having to remind family member that i’m not having full on mexican wedding since i’m marrying a half white/vietnamese guy. he’s only gone to one mexican wedding with me and he was a little cultural shock and it WASN”T a full on mexican wedding. the securtity outside was really checking out invites, it was at the fairgrounds though. and most did have a bottle of tequila on the table.
Post # 4
I’m not Mexican, but my SIL is. Her and my brother’s wedding was the CRAZIEST wedding I have ever been to. It wasn’t quite like this sounded, but it was a 700 guest wedding and there was a ton of tequila and dancing going on. It was one of the funnest wedding I had ever been too, but I can’t imagine my own wedding being like that. I was exhausted at the end of the night and I was just a bridesmaid. It took my SIL and brother three days to recover.
Post # 5
I did laugh reading the comments and I agree now we(Mexicanos) have security que fregados es eso we just pick up any invitation photocopy it at home or walgreen y vamosnos a la fiesta. For my wedding, it will have elegant decor because forget the tradition plastic manteles , faux spoons, white paper plates and that heidous pasteles that my mother is trying to convince me to buy from CArdenas with the 2 white doves on top. No thank you. For the beer you are right que se acabe la food who cares but the Coronas they have no end and their are still 2 ice chests left over the very next morning.
The viejas inside or outside chatting while the men are in a corner drinking, camachos running around like crazy (this is what I love) licking the damn cake before it is cut. Grandmas drinking canela(cinnamon tea).
The bridesmaids with dresses and vibrant colors that don’t even go with the wedding colors. In church the dresses are purple you come to the reception and its red and black. You stand and look and say okay and sit.
Its true when you get engaged and people find out your getting married , forget the invitations we spread the word to friends of the friends of the friends. RSVP que fregados is that. We don’t call or RSVP we just show up without gifts (well some of us do not me). Que dollar tree by the end of the night the cash might all be gone that is why we have the dollar dance and even than the cash is taking from the bridal party so we have la nana or the mom taking care of the cash.
Our venue is our backyard forget paying 10,000 for a hotel. The bathroom line waiting time is 20 minutes for 1 bathroom home todas la cagonas decide to go at the same time.
Our food is birria, barbacoa, or carnitas, man this is the best food. Tortillas, aguas frescas that is what I plan to serve at my wedding. I don’t want no damn steak, que potatoe shallot y que forest garden give me what I love and will enjoy. You can always go for seconds, thirds, fourths there is no limit.
but you better arrive on time (0h yeah) I forgot you write wedding starts at 4pm expect us to be there 5:30. Arrive on time to get a sit if you arrive 4 hours late dont expect to sit down as all the mesas are taken. People hog the centerpieces take them to the cars before the bridal party arrives. If you sit down at the mesa and their is another family there they push the centerpiece towards them its like saying “its mine don’t even think about it.”
A mi me encanta ser Mexicana
Post # 6
jajajajajajajajaja I love being Latina! Estamos todos locos verdad?
Post # 8
there’s no etiquette in mexicans wedding jajaja , we’re the weddings craziest peoples ever lol!
Post # 9
Omg !!!! Hahaha I am not Mexican but my husband is from Df Mexico and he has tell me about this weddings before I am Honduran and at are wedding everything was more American and my husband is still mad about me not letting him do all the Mexican traditions but hell not I will this at my wedding !!! I still have to deal with some kids that day but I just let family bring there kids everyone else was not allowed !! But I have attended Mexican wedding before and they are just hilarious you will have the time of ur life!!!
Post # 10
Hahaha!!! This is great!! And so much of it is true. Some of our center pieces belong to our coordinator so I have already warned her that someone needs to guard the door to make sure no one takes those center pieces!
Post # 11
Ahhh! Memories of every quiceanera and boda growing up. I think this is the reason Mexican brides hesitate to “rent centerpieces”. You know it’s going home with someone. 🙂
Post # 12
What you described and I hope nobody gets offended is a wedding of people that are not exactly middle class in a little town in the country. I come from Mexico city middle class and they are nothing like that. The story is funny and I am sure it has happenned but I do want to say that middle class weddings are very different. We do not do buffet with tacos, food is gourmet like, it is a 4-6 course meal with waitresses that also serve plenty of different selections of wine, rum, tequila, brandy, etc. My wedding is going to be in a museum with a live band that will open with a Sinatra Song, violins during dinner and mariachis to end the party which will probably end around 3 AM. Invitations are not open so only the people that you invited will attend, most weddings are at night and they do not bring children, it is requested in the invitation and believe me they do not bring them.
Post # 13
@annie_2000: No, it not offensive because my familia is like that, but what is offensive is to say that what we described are improverished individuals that are not middle class. My husband and I are middle class with earnings in 80K per year y que crees we are still the same. We are humble people, I have never been embrassed of my roots, I’m a teacher and all my students like it when I tell them my stories and they say “oh my god maestra thats my mom” and they ask me maestra where are you from and I tell them I was born and raised in California.
I understand what you are saying since sometimes on these boards “our kind” is described as not having etiquette. Yes, their are some bourgeouis mexicans and yes not all Mexicanos like carnitas for their weddings rather que steak, file mignon and thats okay because its your preference but you have to admit it happens in our culture. I grew up next to the mexican border and I could tell a Mexican born from a Mexican american born. Next time you go to mexico or cross the border check out the AEROPostle shirts they wear to them this brand means you have $. I was surprised I got mutliple stares when I went down their I was wearing come to find out an Abercombrie Fitch shirt (que fregados es eso) I just put that shirt on that my sister gave me. I am not into brands plus I wore sweats that day. My sister told me “milagro que no te robaron bea that shirt is an indication that you are at a higher level than most of them.” My husband said “you should wear that more often”
Post # 14
oh god, LOL the typical mexican wedding. That’s great for the old school mexican or if you live in mexico. But not use to that since I grew up in the states and well want to follow what I know here. Old aunts and uncles got a bit offended because I didnt’ go with the old culture of inviting everyone, having a band and dollar dance. I’m mexican and no way was I going to have the original posters wedding type. It’s fun but not my style nor my parents, and I’m sure several mexican american brides would agree. I wanted a regular, where you do rsvp, no band, regular music, regular food, no dollar dance, and no children, and only 150 guests, no more. Did have a mariachi and spanish song dedicated for my dad. But as far as partying, was hard to keep it non mexican with mexican family if you know what I mean…LOL!!! Love my mexican culture just not doing my wedding that way, but am sticking to the traditions of catholic wedding, faith, and family, oh and good home cooking, keeping the old recipes going.
and to original poster…it is offensive to post Mexican Weddings as Just For Laughs! Not funny, we value our families and culture. Some people celebrate with the old customs and some new…. Let’s not laugh at it.
Post # 15
Although I you’re intentions might not have been mean-spirited…..I still think this post generalizes people from a huge country, it makes Latinos sound moronic, and some people will find it a little offensive.
If I wrote a post like this about a “black wedding” I would probably get chewed out.
Not trying to start drama OP, I know you probably didn’t mean it like that. Just giving you a different perspective.
I work hard to break sterotypes imposed on Latino/Hispanic communities so this post just saddens me a little.
Frankly, I just don’t get how ridiculing a culture is ok at all. Between the curse words and calling your children “little beaner kids”….??? Check how disgusting this is: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beaners
Writing “hope you’re not offended” at the end doesn’t excuse it. Where I come from what I just read would be immediately be labeled derogatory and racist.
Post # 16
@beatriz: I think your version is sooooo funny!! Hahaha! “Cardenas” my mom shops there LMAO!