(Closed) Labor: Expectations vs. Reality with first baby

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 31
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Labor was everything people chalk it up to be. I thought I could do a natural birth but 23 hours into labor I said forget it and opted for an epidural. unfortunately, it didn’t work and I was already in the transition phase. I started pushing 15 minutes after getting my epidural and he was born 15 minutes after that. I silently cried the whole time  pushed  because it was so uncomfortable. Looking back I either should have got the epidural much sooner or not at all. 

Post # 32
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Cory_loves_this_girl:  Yes! I agree the IV was the worst part, it was on the top of my hand so every time I moved it would tug a little and hurt. So while I was pushing for 2 hours and trying to hold behind my knees I kept feeling the pain in my hand. They were able to unhook me once I had her, but had to keep it in, in case I needed another IV for some reason. They told me once I peed twice they could take it out, weird. Maybe to make sure I wasn’t dehydrated and needed fluids?

Post # 33
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

MrsAKSkier:  love hearing a positive story about a natural childbirth and your expectations/experience with pain. i really want to believe that i can do it (i’m 32.5 weeks now) and that the pain can be managed but you hear so many horror stories. thank you for sharing!

Post # 34
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry if this scares you but…

way way worse, lo was transverse but no one knew at the time, I would have let someone carve my spine out with a rusty scaplel to end it, 30 hours labour, 2 hours pushing, forceps and vacuum assited delievery, massive blood loss, 4 th degree tear requiring 54 stitches and a blood transfusion. lo also got stuck in my pelvis and had merconium and a trip to the nicu as well as muscle and nerve damage due to delivery that required extinsive physio for a year. She’s ok now though. Her delivery is literally my thought of hell and it haunts me to this day.

Post # 35
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Beach

Baby #1 Doctor birth: My first pregnancy I was terrified, anxious you name it that was me. My fear before labor was; will I have an emergency C-section, would the epidural work, would they give me an episiotomy when I don’t want one. It turned out fine. My water broke at home I went to the hospital and waited as long as I could hold out for the epidural and then when I couldn’t take the pain anymore I had the epidural and it was a walk in the park. Only felt the pressure in my butt and the “ring of fire” lol.

Baby #2 Midwife Birth: Second baby I wasn’t nearly as worried about labor and delivery. I was more worried about caring for 2 children. Felt a little crampy all day but at the end of the night decided to go to the hospital just in case. Found out I was 6cm dilated and waited for things to start. Nothing happened for 3 hours. They were JUST about to send me home when they checked me and said I was +2! They asked if I was okay with them breaking my water and they did and the baby was out in less than 10 minutes. No time for drugs nothing! It was painful but quickly forgotten as soon as they placed the baby on me. Next baby I plan on midwife and natural birth again.

Post # 36
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Both better and worse. 

Wanted a natural childbirth and almost got there. For me, the pain wasnt that bad. I got all the way to 9 cm over 22 hours. They tell me I have a high pain tolerance (which I didnt know) so it doesnt always hurt everyone the same. Though I didnt get to push. 

The worse…. I stalled at 9 cm and needed a C-section. It went horribly wrong (I wont scare anyone with details) so that sucked. And I never imagined me being passed out and missing my child’s first 36 hours. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  NonannaS.
Post # 37
9820 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

X0JLYNN03:  ah hell, I made them redo my IV 3 times!!  I think I finally had them move it up a little to the side of my wrist.  Like they did the first and it sort of hurt when I moved my hand and I knew there was no way in hell I was going to go through labor with an IV hurting my hand lol.

Post # 38
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

kes18:  I should of had her move it. My hand hurt the whole 13 hours! She sait it was the most convienent spot for being able to move around, I don’t see the difference if she put it in the crease of my arm where most IVs go. 

Post # 39
2473 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Stephville:  I was more nervous about the unknown? Will I know the contractions are REAL contractions, how will I know when to go to the hospital, how painful will it REALLY be? kinda thing…..One thing I was nervous about was a crazy fast labor (kind of a long story but my mom actually didnt have labor with me….she walked into a checkup appt (5 days overdue) feeling NOTHING just totally normal and she was 8.5 cm dilated and I was born 30 min later). As amazing as that sounds in theory, if she hadnt had that appt I would have been born in the car on the way to lunch at my grandmas lol….and I was way too nervous for a non hospital birth.

for me knowing it was “time” it wasnt a concern when I went into labor because I had what you call a wham bam thank you maam lol (not quite my moms but close enough). My water broke first so I knew once I started to feel contractions it would be the real deal. They started….and sure enough I went from completely fine to a 9 outta 10 pain level….NO EARLY LABOR! I knew right away we were gonna have to go soon and without recounting my whole story we were at the hospital an hour and a half after the contractions started and I was in transition…shaking from the pain. It was soooo much more intense and painful then I imagined but I think its partially because its not a pain you can ever compare or experience? plus the fact that I went straight into transition level pain from the start so my body didnt get a chance to “gear up” know what I mean?

I expected things to start, then progressively get worse and I didnt get that, so I know that didnt help.

My outlook prior to it happening was fairly calm and excited…I felt so fed up with being pregnant I just wanted the party STARTED ALREADY lol. But I knew from the beginning I just had to go with the flow and not worry about “what I wanted ot happen or not want to happen” during the birth because the most importnant thing was her coming safely. I ended up getting my epi FYI at 9-10cm because I just couldnt take it anymore even tho I was so close. It ended up being a good decision and it was AMAZING! Didnt interfear with pushing…. they did end up having to use a vacuum tho because she got stuck…i had her to crowning and her heart rate dropped so they needed ot get her out and when they pulled her out the cord was wrapped around her neck a few times as well as looped down through her legs over her shoulders so there was no way I could have pushed her out fully by myself. 

It is amazing how you calm down after they come out and you kind of forget about what just happened….(not forget but… just…. your so happy having them in your arms)

Post # 40
13 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

Stephville:  I planned for a natural water birth, went into labour at 35 weeks so I wasnt “allowed” to use the birthing pool. My labour began on Friday night and i had him at 1 on Sunday. Pain wise I found it bearable up until transition, which lasted only about half an hour until I started pushing. I definately found that movement helped me, I spent half of the time on my knees swaying agianst the bed.
I was scared I would lose control when I was in the pushing stage but was still very much “present”. I remember worrying that I was going to poo when I pushed him out which I told my husband and midwife who both just laughed and said to go for it haha. 
The only thing I regret about my birth is because his heart rate was high I ended up having a training OB in the room who wasnt comfortable with me on my hands and knees, I ended up being in lithotomy which was bloody uncomfortable. made it harder to push and made me feel exposed. I’m pregant again and planning a home birth so that wont happen again. 

Post # 41
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Stephville:  As the DDay drew closer and closer, I started to become a lot less anxious, and more ready to have our baby.  Yes, to feel better and meet our son, but more so (probably) to just ‘get it over with’, because my anxiety about labor and delivery lasted my entire pregnancy.  And, at some point, you become so irritated for thinking, and over thinking something you cannot control, that you wish it for it to get there, and be done with it all.  

Unfortunately, my anxiety (which was centered around the pain) led me to diminish how labor and delivery actually were (because I had talked myself out of a full blown panic attack because I knew I was getting an epidural, and would be finnnneeeeeeeeeeeeee!).  That shit hurt.  Period.  Like, vomited hurt (sorry).  However, much like every l&d story you read, everyone’s is very different.  My doctor did not want to order an epidural until I hit 3cm, which with pitocin (blah), and hours of laboring au natural, did not happen for a very very long time.  I stalled BIG time.  Finally, after 24 hours of labor total, I was allowed to get the epidural – the greatest drug ever, right?!  Well, it did not work, at all.  Nor did the second one they administered.  The third one, after calling in the head of the department finally gave me relief (and by relief, I mean, the pain went from a 10 to a 0).  It was then I was informed I have a very deep back, and without this trial and error, they would have never known, etc.  

I was pain-free for 1.5 hours, before I hit 10 cm, and then had to push (for 2.5 hours), which led to a whole different kind of pain (not nearly as bad as the contractions though!!).

10 weeks PP, and I still cannot forget the pain, however; someone one was looking out for me becuase I had NO tearing, and my recovery was absolutely amazing.  The next day I felt like a million bucks, seriously.  

Just remember, it will hurt.  The drugs ARE awesome, if/when they get it to you.  The outcome is seriously worth it, because I love our little man so freaking much, and you probably will not be the worst patient they see or have (I was throwing out a lot of expletives, and was something out of the exorcist), BUT the staff that got me thru it, also came to see me after and said I was seriously fine.   They are used to it 🙂

Post # 43
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Expectation: no complications so should be in n’ out of the hospital. Won’t need epidural for something that quick. 

Reality: Only getting Braxton hicks during the entire labor. Not getting closer, nor dilating past 8 cm. Labor was 16-18 hrs! Decided to take epidural after 4 hours. Wasn’t allowed to eat. Baby had vaccum help. I had AMAZING doctors who don’t believe in c-section. They waited with me patiently. 

Post # 44
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Artie52:  It used to be that Doctor’s would not provide pain management to a woman who was less than 4cm dialated. That has changed pain management should now be given upon maternal request. I would recommend you find a new OB because it sounds like yours sucked. Also, I would recommend a counselor to deal with the PTSD. Feeling victimized and out of control is a terrible thing, I’m sorry that that happened to you.

Post # 45
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

jily:  You’re right, they told me I had to be at least 4 or 5, can’t remember which.  I went along with it, except they rarely checked me.  I had to keep calling for nurses to come check because they wouldn’t on their own.  I was so miserable!  When they finally gave it to me I had progressed past the minimum epidural point, just because they slacked on checking frequently!  I do have a new OB this time around, and I’m hoping all goes well.  I’m super anxious about it all, but I’m so sick that I haven’t had time to worry about anything but trying to gain weight.  I’ve lost about 10lbs so far in this pregnancy and I’m only 11 weeks!  Seeing my doc tonight for some answers, I hope.  I want to get past this misery so I can worry about the other stuff 🙂

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