(Closed) lack of affection in relationship (kind of long)

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The only thing I can tell you is that Im not very mushy at all.  Im not an emotional person when it comes to this stuff, Im not cuddly,I dont like to kiss and hug and all that stuff all that often.  Some people just arent that way.  As for the sex, maytbe hes telling you the truth.  I wouldn`t think it was something to do with not being attracted to you unless you have other reasons to believe so. 

Post # 4
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

@weddingguest101:  

That’d be a deal breaker for me.  I admit I’m pretty needy though.  I like affectionate guys and I hate feeling rejected.  Some people don’t need that though, everyone has different personalities and that’s okay, but I just personally couldn’t stay with someone like that.  You have to decide if it’s really important to you or not because men generally get even less affectionate and less interested in sex after marriage so don’t expect it to get any better than it is now.

Post # 5
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Have him read (and you read it to) The 5 Love Languages. It explains how different people express love differently and that although you will always favour one way over the others, you can work on being better at the other types. Warning: it can be a bit corny at times, but the message and information is great.

You aren’t making a big deal over nothing, it is something which needs to be talked about, but calmly and without alcohol! Gently explain that you aren’t getting what you need from him and want to work on it so that you are both happier. And draw lines, perhaps he will try to hug and kiss you more, but not in public. That’s fine! 

Also remember that a person’s sex drive can change from year to year, month to month. Often men want more sex when they are younger and women when they are older. So please don’t hold him to his past sex drive. I think that this is something which you need to drop. Work on one thing at a time, more affection first and then more sex. 

Post # 6
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Everdeen:  This. I bet if you find out what his love language is, you will receive yours in return. I read this book and identified what my husband needs in order to feel loved. We already have a great relationship, but this just helped even more.

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