(Closed) Lack of Motivation for Dress Shopping

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
50 posts
Worker bee

I feel your pain….and we’re on similar timelines too (our wedding’s august next year, got engaged in august too)

 We’re living on the East coast and all of my bridal party/close friends/family are in California, i had fun looking when i was on the west coast, but now that i’m back here, it’s hard to get motivation to go knowing that most of the people involved won’t be around.

Post # 4
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

*Raises hand*

I was excited the first time I went, but then it just seemed like a grind after that.  The salespeople were always nice, but I just wasn’t wow’d by any dress that I put on.  At all.

Finally, I stopped shopping in stores for a while.  I went to the internet and found specific designers and specific dresses that I really liked.  I then hunted down stores near me that had the dresses I wanted to try on.  (You call ahead, and you need to be really specific.  I had one store try and pull a bait and switch on me).

Then, I traveled to find the dresses I wanted to try.  You’ve already been a couple of times, so you know what elements work on you.  Now you just have to find a dress that incorporates those elements.

I live in Seattle, but I ended up buying the dress in Portland.  So not only did I get my dream dress, but it was sales tax free and I had a weekend get-away in addition!

Post # 5
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I second doctorgirl. It was easier for me to find what I liked on the interent and then go and try on dresses that I was already interested in. 

Plus it cut down on the time I spent in each store 🙂

Post # 6
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Beach Social Hall

I definitely felt this way too. I, too, think that you should browse online to get some ideas, then hit the stores. Hopefully once you try on a few dresses that you like, you will get excited and motivated. At first, I was disappointed and almost hopeless; then, I tried on a beautiful lace gown. I knew it was the one 🙂 Best of luck.

Post # 7
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - The Pearl S. Buck House

I think looking online and finding designers you like is really helpful.  I was obsessed with a specific Melissa Sweet dress that I saw over and over again in pictures… even my mom AND dad thought it was very "me." So even though my wedding is 2 years away, my mom and I made an appointment at Priscilla of Boston to try on Fern.  Of course, when I had her on, I just thought "yup… that’s what I thought she’d look like…"  I tried on the second one that wasn’t as impressive in pictures but was similar, and that was it! This dress is amazing.  Of course, I didn’t mean to find my dress on the second try with my wedding 2 years away so I didn’t buy her yet, but what are you gonna do…

 Another way to go is to try a place like The Bridal Garden (in manhattan) or an event like Brides Against Breast Cancer that gives all the profits to charity. That might light the fire under your bum to find the dress there while doing some good 🙂 They get donations from designers as well as samples and once-worn and cleaned donations from real brides. It’s also a great way to get a designer dress for less. Try to have fun, and good luck! 

Post # 8
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

You know, I felt exactly the same way. I was totally unenthused — and, to be honest, really intimidated — at the prospect of dress shopping. But I lucked out, because my Maid/Matron of Honor, who has amazing taste, has helped several of her friends pick out wedding dresses in the past, so she knew the drill. To take the pressure off, we started somewhere where we were pretty sure I wouldn’t find THE DRESS, but I’d be able to get an idea of what I looked like in several different silhouettes (and oh my God, you should have seen the one with long, eighties-style sleeves the consultant made me try on because she was having a bad day and needed a laugh)! That really helped me, because I realized that I actually had quite a clear idea of what I didn’t want (big floofy princess skirt, strapless, lots of pick-ups — not that there’s anything wrong with those things, but they don’t suit me or my tiny rustic chapel) and what I did (some sort of strap or sleeve, lace, mermaid or trumpet skirt). I’d done a lot of "research" by obsessively googling and browsing, but seeing myself in a certain type of dress was much more useful than seeing it in a photo on a model.

 I ended up only going to two more stores before I found my dress, so it was pretty painless — dare I say, fun, even!

Post # 9
27 posts
  • Wedding: September 2018

um…yes.  i’ve been engaged since september, 2007 (we’re getting married 9/19/09) and i’ve been dress shopping TWICE!!  i felt really unmotivated & kept thinking i had all kinds of time, now we’re just 9 months out and i still don’t have a dress!  panic.

Post # 10
484 posts
Helper bee

I feel ya! I definitely wasn’t as motivated to dress shop as I thought I would be.

Some tips that worked for me:

1) print/cut out pics of gowns that appeal to you

2) find a the store that carries most of the designers you have cut out so you can try on the maximum amount of dresses

3) while trying on narrow down cut and style. i.e. what looks best on your figure (I am strapless, mermaid/trumpet, no lace gal).

4) think about what’s appropriate for your wedding. are you a Saturday night black tie bride? A sunday picnic? Something in between? What season? I’m a Saturday night BT wedding in the Fall so I need to be in something that is fancier than what my guests will wear as well as a seasonally appropriate fabric (that being said, you’re the bride, so wear what you want).

Once you’ve gone through this process once, start over. After my first appointment I went home and printed out more dresses. I was kind of hesitant about a mermaid/trumpet skirt but noticed after looking for pics again that my eye gravitates toward those dresses so clearly that’s the cut for me. I then made an appointment at another salon since I felt that the first one didn’t really meet the criteria I had laid out for myself.

I have a very strong contentor right now but I’m just not ready to make the decision. However, everything I put on after it, pales in comparison so unless I find something else, that’s my dress! Did I have a "this is it moment!" Nope and I no longer expect to.

What I do expect is to pick the gown that is most flattering for me, most appropriate for my wedding, in my price range and something I feel beautiful in.

HTH! Best of luck to you!

Post # 11
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I hated the thought of having to go shopping for a dress.  I finally worked up the nerve to do it, went one day, picked out the 3rd dress I tried on, and never looked back.  NOW, looking back, I regret it.  If shopping makes you nervous, ask yourself why… for me, it was shopping with my mom.  I wish I had gone alone, and I wish I had tried on more dresses!  Maybe you’re the opposite, maybe with a bit of moral support from your friends and family you’ll feel more encouraged.  Think about all the things that make you not want to do it and try to avoid them as much as possible.  If its making appointments, are there bridal salons that don’t require appointments in your area?

Post # 13
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I felt the same way. I’m not a shopper by nature, and wedding dress shopping wasn’t any different. Similar to previous posters:

1) Take time off, separate yourself from dress shopping for a while.

2) Before going out again, think about what you’re looking for.

3) Go alone. (I typically shop alone, so that’s what I was comfortable with. Plus, I didn’t feel like I was wasting other people’s time by dragging them on "fruitless" trips.)

4) Don’t push yourself into getting a "this will do" dress just to be done with it. It doesn’t have to be "The One," but you should genuinely like it.

I also found it helpful to stop into shops without an apt. Then I was able to browse through their dresses without having to go through the trying-on ordeal. Incidentally, it was on one of these "I’m not really looking" trips that one salesgirl had her apt cancel and was able to get me into a room – and I found a dress that made me very happy.

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