(Closed) Lack of sadness making me feel horrible…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

People grieve differently, and it sounds as though you weren’t close at all. Feel what you feel, stop beating yourself up for not feeling something you don’t. 

Post # 4
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@katedesaccord:  There’s no reason why you should feel any different than you do now. You did nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with the way you feel now.

Post # 5
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Neetch:  +1

Post # 6
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with the above poster. I know if my own grandmother died I would not be sad at all; she is just not a good person and was abusive. Everyone grieves in their own way, and some people don’t grieve at all, especially if they’re not that close to the person: and that’s OK! You can still love her, be sad she died, and not be mourning. That’s OK: please don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sure you’re still an amazing, wonderful person!!

Post # 7
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

People grieve in different ways – I remember at my great uncle’s funeral last year I felt AWFUL because I wasn’t crying/upset – it was really a celebration of his life, so I was happy to reflect on all of his accomplishments (he was 99 years old and worked until he was 90 – amazing guy!).


Don’t beat yourself up for not feeling upset – you loved her, and it’s possible to grieve without being a hot mess. If you weren’t close to her, then it’s only normal that you wouldn’t feel overwhelming sadness – you’re acknowledging that she passed, and that’s all you can do :). Hugs!

Post # 9
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I felt much the same when my grandmother passed… we just werent that close, and I felt she favoured my cousins too.  my grandfather on the other hand… i was a wreck.  dont beat yourself up, the very fact that youre here asking for our thoughts says youre not heartless.

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