Post # 1
So I just found out today that my grandma passed away yesterday. I wish I could say that she was a big part of my life, but the truth is we weren’t close at all. She was unaffectionate, cold, and expressed openly that she felt I was a disappointment in comparison to my cousins/her other grandchildren.
Despite all that, she was my grandmother, and I did love her. The question I keep asking myself is why don’t I feel worse about this? Why am I not crying? The fact that I don’t feel THAT sad makes me feel like I’m heartless…
EDIT: I just noticed I put this under beehive…it’s not really anything to do with my wedding though. Hope this can be moved if need be.
Post # 3
People grieve differently, and it sounds as though you weren’t close at all. Feel what you feel, stop beating yourself up for not feeling something you don’t.
Post # 4
@katedesaccord: There’s no reason why you should feel any different than you do now. You did nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with the way you feel now.
Post # 6
I agree with the above poster. I know if my own grandmother died I would not be sad at all; she is just not a good person and was abusive. Everyone grieves in their own way, and some people don’t grieve at all, especially if they’re not that close to the person: and that’s OK! You can still love her, be sad she died, and not be mourning. That’s OK: please don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sure you’re still an amazing, wonderful person!!
Post # 7
People grieve in different ways – I remember at my great uncle’s funeral last year I felt AWFUL because I wasn’t crying/upset – it was really a celebration of his life, so I was happy to reflect on all of his accomplishments (he was 99 years old and worked until he was 90 – amazing guy!).
Don’t beat yourself up for not feeling upset – you loved her, and it’s possible to grieve without being a hot mess. If you weren’t close to her, then it’s only normal that you wouldn’t feel overwhelming sadness – you’re acknowledging that she passed, and that’s all you can do :). Hugs!
Post # 8
Thanks everyone, you’re right. I can’t feel any other way than how I feel.
Post # 9
I felt much the same when my grandmother passed… we just werent that close, and I felt she favoured my cousins too. my grandfather on the other hand… i was a wreck. dont beat yourself up, the very fact that youre here asking for our thoughts says youre not heartless.