Member- engagedformerfk
- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2018
This may be kind of long but I have a lot of back history.
I’m 23 years old (will be 24 when I get married in December) I’ve been engaged for 6 months. The proposal was nice, and we are well into our wedding plans. So so far everything is going mostly well for the big day.
The big problem is my fiance’s family. My future mother in law doesn’t like me. She has never been mean to me but I can tell that she doesn’t care about me. I see her with my fiance’s sister’s fiance and they treat him so well, like a part of the family. But they treat me all right, but they don’t go out of there way at all. I go back 4 1/2 years ago when we started dating, I overheard a conversation while I was in a different room (first time meeting them) his mother asking him if he should be dating someone with so much baggage from a young age. My fiance is 32 years old (just turned 27 and I 19 when we began going out.)
My fiance comes from a fairly upper-class family. His parents are together, are highly educated and live comfortably, where I grew up to a single mother, with 3 half-siblings, and no father. We came from two different type of childhoods and add in the age difference I understand them being skeptical of me.
But I fast forward to our engagement, they weren’t excited, even though they pretended to be. 9 months before we began going out, my fiance broke off an engagement, six weeks before he was supposed to get married, when he found out his then-fiance of six years, had an affair. My future sister in law told me the day after we announced our engagement that their mother was just afraid of fiance getting hurt again and not to take it personally.
Which comes to the current conflict. We are planning a small, wedding. Since we’re having it in December, we had already booked a small hall. We have decided on having no alcohol and a “snow queen” theme, where my wedding colours are silver and baby blue. They are trying to take over the wedding plans. They have already paid the deposit on our photographer which is 750.00 we are saving and I’m grateful for. I invited my mother in law to go dress shopping with me, and she agreed until she learned my mom was coming after she originally wasn’t going too. I feel hurt.
I just feel like they will never openly accept me. My fiance talks highly of me, but since they are never openly mean toward me there hasn’t been an opportunity for him to really talk to them. I feel I can’t really say how I feel without coming across as petty. I know he’d stand up for me but I don’t want them to dislike me more than they do.
Any advice?
