- 6 years ago
I apologize in advance for the long hashed out story. But its the only way I can fully make sence of what happened and how you think I can get my SO to come back
So to start off with background, I have a bad heart condition that makes everyday tasks really hard lately. My doctor told me that I can’t work until im on proper medication.my boyfriend of over 2 years and I have a ring and have lived together for over a year. Ee have spent most of our relationship blissfully happy. But there is ine thing. A yesr ago he and his most recent ex girlfriend were communicating and then he kept it from me snd their conversations were pretty innaporopriate. I struggled with trust a while sfter that but always knew he was worth it. And as much advice I’ve ever given anyone I still csnt do it. I never let it go. With my anxiety snd my heart condition I’ve been strugling with my self worth for a while and my SO has been the most absolutely supportive thing in the world. He has alwsyd told me even though it would be easier to be with someone else he wants ME. I have been not working for 3 months now and the weight of it all has come crashing down around me. He has been stable and kind and always willing to put me first. I love thst about him. He has been every bit helpful but hered where it goes bad: when I have anxiety pain attacks with my heart I lash out. I take it to the next level and I’m not afraid of telling him how I feel and pushing him away. He lost his mom last year and its been extremely hard on him to see me go through a lot of the same pain.so I pudh him away so he wont have to deal with it.
So friday night I had a seizure when no one ess home. Ee live directly next to a hospital so I went over him seeing me he got out of the car and tried ti come with me to maje sure I eas ok. Which I wasn’t I told him I wanted to do it on my own and he made me realize that I was being very stupid. He told me he has my ring and he wants a forever with me. He told me he cant live without me I’m his whole world I need ti let him be there for me.which he was right about on all cases. I kissed him and thanked him for goving me everything and hanging in there when I didnt believe in myself.
Then Saturday morning came, and I had olans with him for the day. His dad told him that they were going to the shooting range and hes never been so I wanted him to go. He apologized for leaving me and saif he would be back aroubd 3. He said he wiuld text me and missed ne. He never texted never called snd didnt come. Home until 700. This made me really upset. He gets home 4 hours late and I was mad I tomd him hoe I felt in a not so nice way and he got defensive like all men do and backed away. He said that he was sick of this and I told him if he wsnted me to leave I would and go somewhere for a few hours. He didnt respond so I left. As soon as I did I got a text saying feel free to get your stuff whenever. I went inside to try and talk to him but he wouldn’t hae it. I told him I couldn’t fix us if he wasn’t open with me and he said he could return the ring and needed me to move out. Its been the hardest last 2 days of my life
How could I be so stupid. After everything hes done for me and I oushed him away. I feel beyond empty.We havent talked since he said he was done. He changed everything. I want to know how to FIX this. Becase I broke the camels back. The thing is though I KNOW hes my man. I know he’s in my future and I alwayd have I was just insecure. If it takes me doing whatever I have to do I will do it. Everyone EVERYONE is shocked. They don’t knoe what to say and I need to know my next move. Im giving him space but what else?
Sorry for the terrible spelling im doing this on my phone