Post # 1
Hi everyone, the last time I posted, I was a bride 🙂 2 years ago. Since then, had a baby, and have another on the way in 2 months.
My brother is getting married in March of next year. I LOVE his fiance. She is a sweetheart. I am about to be asked to stand in the wedding and was also kind of warned by some others, that she is expecting things to go exactly as she wants them – so beware :). Whatever, it is her day and I get it.
The “heads up message” I received, is that the bride wants all orders for dresses placed by June 30 and my baby is due June 2. As some may know, my body will not be my own by any means after pregnancy and the store said to simply measure my bust and hips. Ok, no worries there, I can do that. I asked them if they had a maternity option and of course, this is a couture line dress and they do not. Boy is it tight fitting as well, but cute dress. So my dilemma is that we will absolutely be trying for our third baby as soon as possible. I am not getting any younger :/ If we get pregnant again so soon, as we did with this last baby, they are a year apart this will throw the bride off big time. I won’t fit in her dress and plus, it is $200 bucks.
So, what do I do? Decline the offer or say yes, because she really wants me to stand in their wedding? I just don’t want to upset her by saying no and don’t want to upset her by saying yes, then get pregnant and ruin her image of her wedding.
Post # 3
Honestly, it sounds like a lot of trouble. If she’s looking for “the bride’s backup singers” as it sounds, just step aside.
Post # 4
@Huneeey: Have you talked to her about it? I would start by just having a conversation with her about the fact that you are trying for a third child and see what she says.
Congrats, by the way!
Post # 5
Are we talking about March 2014? If you have the baby in June, March is only 10 months from there. I have a hard time thinking you would be really pregnant for her wedding. I think you should just accept it and cross the pregnancy bridge when you come to it.
Post # 6
I mean, if you’ve already ordered the dress in June and then get pregnant, you’ll just have to get a different dress. No big deal. If she doesn’t want that, then you’ll just have to bow out (though I think it’s unreasonable for her to demand that though, people get pregnant all the time and cannot schedule around someone’s wedding).
Post # 8
i think most doctors advise you wait at least 6 months before TTC after a baby (allow your body to recover, get back to itself and risks of problems dropping), so if you follow that advice then youd be only 3 months pregnant by march
if you are going to try before that then id talk to her about it
Post # 9
Hey. So had a friend talk to her and the bride said I would have to be in the same dress and have no choice but to order with all the other girls so the colors match. She let our friend know I won’t have any maternity options either, should I get pregnant. And that she would not pick a maternity dress for me. Dress doesn’t come in maternity as you can figure. I guess that means, if we get pregnant so soon, which we plan on trying to do, then I would be asked to not stand basically. I would waste money on a dress and never get to wear it.
Thank goodness my friend is screening this situation, perhaps it will let the bride reconsider asking me so I am not in an uncomfortable situation to decline.
On the other note, when I get asked, I will be sweet about this and let her know that I appreciate the thought of asking me, but due to our family planning, that we will be trying for a third baby way before her wedding, it would alleviate any stress on her end from worrying about me fitting into her day. Plus, it helps me not worry about upsetting her should we get pregnant. Pregnancy should be a happy time, not a feel guilty time. Same for her wedding. 🙂
Thank goodness I didn’t sign up for it without knowing the plans first. I’ll let you all know how it turns out. Should be soon.
Post # 10
You do what feels best for you. Don’t give yourself any added stress. I think you’d be better off declining because you have a great reason to.
Post # 11
newname_99, you are right… 6 months. And we will try right at 6 months, and begin prepping (tracking cycles) 2 months before :). My body blew up quickly with a 2nd baby, to the point I thought twins (but no twins). Dr. said it is normal to show so quickly given we were pregnant 4 mths after our first one. I was showing easily by 8 weeks and maternity clothes at 9 wks. The first baby, I went 15 weeks without showing. Crazy what the body can do and what it does. So based on this past pregnancy, I suspect, IF, we are fortunate to get pregnant, I will be in maternity wear about the same time.
Post # 12
It is a good thing you are considering these thoughts, I think most pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man don’t. I would talk to her, I am sure she has her personal own opionin about this situation as it is now. Being honest will get you farther. Maybe she will come up with an alternative and give you another dress, or maybe she will have you do another important job.
So step 1, talk to her. You will get a better idea of what to do after that.