Ladies Only Baby Shower

posted 2 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
9344 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ladies only is still very typical here.

Post # 18
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I personally think traditional showers are the most awkward thing ever, and really wanted a coed shower that would be more like a party / celebration of the coming baby. But I ran it by my husband who had no interest in attending any sort of baby shower, and I ran it by my Mother-In-Law (who is hosting) who thought it was a weird idea and also thought it would be too many people to handle. So I caved and am having my traditional baby shower. What are ya gonna do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Post # 19
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Co-ed is definitely more the norm around here now, but I think that’s been a fairly recent change in hte past 5-10 years and ladies only showers aren’t uncommon even here.

That being said – I’d be a bit ticked off with my SO if he expressed zero interest in a laid back BBQ style shower. And the ‘diaper parties’ – like why are diapers the gift for me and he gets beer? Nope – such gender stereotypes that baby stuff is for mom only. Ugh.

Now cutesy shower games…I get not wanting to do those, but then I don’t want to do those. But a lot of a shower is receiving gifts FOR OUR CHILD. And yeah he should be just as present for that to show how appreciative he is to the gifters for their generosity!!

Post # 20
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Ladies only showers are the norm around here too. Fiance is always relieved when I’m invited to a shower that he doesnt have to attend haha!

Post # 21
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I hosted a ladies only shower for my best friend, and her husband had a cookout for the guys back at their house during our shower. We all met up afterwards and just hung out. It was a great structure! 

Post # 22
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Usually women only here. My Darling Husband would refuse to go

Post # 23
Member
9123 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’ve never been to a co-ed shower.  still the norm to be ladies only.  i’m in suburbs of a major metropolitan city.

however, in my religion, jewish, we don’t typically have baby showers.  we have a bris or baby naming after the baby is born and that is when we typically receive gifts.  and those are co-ed.

Post # 24
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

temeculabride :  I’ve never been to a coed baby shower before. Still all ladies showers in my circle.

However, I’m planning to do a coed shower b/c my mom is in nursing home with Alzheimers and I have no sisters. I have 2 brothers and my father who I am close with, and it makes me sad to think that they wouldn’t be at the only celebration of this baby. We’re not doing a gender reveal or Christening. My other train of thought is that my husband was completely and utterly involved and supportive while we were TTC and throughout this pregnancy. It just doesn’t feel right not to have him be a part of the celebration.

FWIW, my brother was my “Man of Honor” and my other brother did the reading at our wedding – so I’m pretty untraditional when it comes to involving males in my life events 🙂

Post # 26
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

I mean I think a “ladies shower” is weird because it implies that a) women always care about babies but b) men do not care about babies and by extension that c) the father won’t be an equal partner in child rearing. That’s a pretty uncomfortable message to send. Are you ok with that?

if you are just asking what the statistical norm is, it’s going to vary a lot by region. Where I live they are pretty much always co-es at least in the college educated set. But in parts of the USA that treat raising children as “women’s work” I imagine they are more likely single gender.

Post # 27
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I’ve never been invited to a baby shower that had men.. 

Post # 28
Member
11821 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

There is no problem at all with inviting the mother-to-be’s close friends and family members. I’ve never attended any that were co-ed, though spouses sometimes made an appearance at the end.

If you are concerned about issues the only one you have is that traditionally family members don’t host since it’s considered like asking for gifts. In my circles only a friend, group of friends or a friend of the family would host a bridal or baby shower. More liberal etiquette is not opposed, but it gets sticky when the  guest of honor is involved. You should really not be organizing and planning your own party beyond suggesting guests, providing dates, and contact info. 

Post # 29
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

personaperson :  I prefer co-ed showers (wedding, baby, house, etc). Excluding someone based on their genitals is very weird to me. 

temeculabride :  “It’s a baby shower: I don’t think we’ll be using our vaginas for anything at the party.”

I think you said you didn’t like this article, but that’s hilarious, and totally true. 

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