(Closed) Ladies that chose your engagement ring. Do you regret it?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Do you regret picking your own ring out?

    Yes

    No

    We picked together

  • Post # 16
    Member
    1262 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    We picked the setting out together, but he surprised me with the diamond and final product. He insisted bc he wanted to make sure it was something I loved as much as he did, but I felt the diamond was more up to budget.  I don’t regret it bc I see too many posts of bees here that, while they love being engaged, slightly (or less than slightly) wish for something different. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee

    I didn’t pick mine, and don’t regret it. Yes I may sometimes think ‘ohh I’d like a slightly larger diamond’ but whether you pick it together or not, that can still be the case. i feel like I wouldn’t have dictated the size of a diamond if we picked it together anyway as it’s his money and gift to me so his decision to make. In regards to style, he got it pretty damn right. Round, 4 prongs, diamonds on band… As much as I love thin dainty bands, and they make the stone look bigger, I’m glad he went for something more solid as I’d be super paranoid with something thin (im a bit of a stress head). He did all this without even discussing it so I am very happy with what he picked and love that it’s a gift entirely from him and a reflection of how well he knows me. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    86 posts
    Worker bee

    Fiance and I were looking together on the BE website.  At a certain point, I gave him a list of 10 or so rings that I loved and would be happy with on my finger.  Then I stopped even looking!  He spent the next while mulling it over and picked one that I hadn’t noticed, but that was perfectly in line with my tastes and the examples I’d already given him.  I could not be happier!  And also I do not for one moment regret doing it together since othewise it would have been more stress for him and more stress for me!

    Post # 22
    Member
    766 posts
    Busy bee

    I am very happy I picked mine out.  I’m fairly confident Fiance would have picked out a solitaire on his own just because it would have been a less risky option.  I think solitaires are lovely, but I’m in love with my non-solitaire ring and don’t care at all that the design wasn’t a surprise!  I think we both would have felt crappy if he picked out something I didn’t love.  But I love the ring and he loves that I’m so happy with it!  And he said he would have had no idea what to pick out otherwise, so it’s not like he had anything in mind.

    Also – I’m surprised this is so uncommon, but for those who want the best of both worlds with a surprise and getting to pick the design, you can always have the stone set in a simple temporary band intended to be reset later.  This allows the guy to make it a surprise (and privately choose the price of the stone), but lets you choose the setting together.  You just pay the jeweler a deposit for the temporary setting to be applied toward the permenant setting.  My stepdad did it for my mom and I haven’t heard of anyone doing it since but I thought it was a great idea!

    Post # 24
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    goblueca:  that’s a great idea!

    Post # 25
    Member
    189 posts
    Blushing bee

    My Fiance was there for each step of the process, but essentially, I picked the setting. To be honest, I don’t think he would have known where to start, and he seemed disinterested in taking on the pressure/responsibility of picking the right thing without me. We are both immensely rational people (and I am rather picky), so doing it together seemed to fit best within the context of our relationship.

    I love my ring and have no regrets. Occasionally, someone will complement my ring and ask whether Fiance picked it. I typically just say “He has a lot of skills and qualities that I appreciate, but we worked together on this one” 

    Post # 26
    Member
    533 posts
    Busy bee

    I loved the fact that my Fiance wanted my input from the get-go. We picked it out together and we were able to bounce ideas off each other. He wanted to know what carat weight I wanted and I wanted to know what cuts he didn’t like, and if he thought a certain size was too big/small on my hand, etc. It made us both feel so sure we were getting something we’d both love. 

    Although we are already engaged (just waiting on my ring to arrive) and I know what I’m getting, he still plans on making the official proposal (my family is actually demanding an official proposal with a “proper” ring) special and romantic. I know what day he’s going to present the ring to me, but I don’t when during the day, where, or how, so it’ll still be a surprise. Overall, I’m really glad we picked it out together so no matter what, we’re both happy!

    Post # 27
    Member
    969 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    SimpleeAmbur:  I picked out my ring design/style and all of the details about the setting but I let him for the most part pick out the centwr stone himself. I told him how many carats I would like (a range) but left the final size and the other specs up to him (he was educated on the subject I trusted him lol). Needless to say i got exactly what I wanted and can still tell people he did a great job when they comment on it! Honestly even if I picked out everything I would still say that to people because he is the one that bought and paid for it so it’s fitting! I never regret having exactly what I want on my finger and it makes my heart sing with joy every day. Plus I didn’t even look at the ring until after he proposed and had said yes because I wasn’t worried about it being perfect  so it was a great way to really enjoy the moment without the materialistic aspect over our heads (although he did say after the act that I could change it if it still wasn’t what I wanted …he’s perfect lol) 

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by  BWLE.
    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by  BWLE.
    Post # 28
    Member
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    The only thing I picked was the cut and metal. I had no idea about diamonds and neither did Fiance. So he researched and educated himself. He designed the setting and handpicked all of the stones. 

    I am definitely glad I picked my cut. I love all diamonds, but I truly believe Princess looks best on my hand.

    Post # 29
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    View original reply
    SimpleeAmbur:  I picked and designed mine but he will still make it a surprise when he proposes so we both get what we want 🙂 to be honest there were times that I wished it to be a complete romantic surprise but I am way too picky with my taste for that lol

    Post # 30
    Member
    2903 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Midland, TX

    He picked she diamond shape of my upgrade and we both loved my setting. I picked the wedding band completely on my own. No regrets.

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