Post # 1
Hi bees, need some encouraging words:-( We’ve been TTC since last year July, ca. 2-3 times we missed ovulation ’cause we built a house last year and it was very stressful. We moved in 2 months ago and I thought all would be good now. We really enjoy our house even if it was a lot of work and stress. My AF is due today or tomorrow and since I’ve been having spotting, cramping and headaches I believe that it didn’t work again:-( Plus I’m really losing the desire for sex ’cause all I’ve been thinking is whether it has worked this time. I use OPKs, no temping. Though I’m thinking to start temping. I’ll have a doctor’s appointment in May, no earlier date available:-(. And just told Darling Husband that he should think about being tested, too. I ovulate regularly, and have regular cycles! I don’t know what I should do anymore:-(
How did you ladies TTC long terms cope with the disappointment month after month? We really want to have kids, and its quite hard because everyone around us is expecting! But right now I don’t want to be disappointed every time AF shows up again:-(
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods
I stopped POAS about 6 cycles in for one thing, and looking at those boards. They were breaking my heart nd making me angry at other people’s joy, which I didn’t like feeling. I also changed my exectations a bit. I no longer expect a BFP, but AF. That way I’ll be super happy if she doesn’t show, but otherwise it hurts less. I cope by enjoying things I couldn’t do if I was pregnant. I got AF today, into cycle 11 now, so I’m going out drinking this wekend with friends and I had a Rockstar this morning. I get what you mean about not having a desire for sex- I’ve been having to really push myself these last few months because I just don’t feel like it. I’ve been temping for 8 months and have used OPK’s since the beginning, so I know it’s been timed right. I do have Endometriosis though, so I may never get a BFP and if I do it may take years:( I wish you luck in feeling better and a BFP.
Post # 3
Same as Aqualov:, the toughest part for me is seeing BFN. So my husband and I made a conscious effort to stop using pregnancy tests. We’ll keep up with the OPKs and temping, but we’ve put all the pregnancy tests in a box and decided not to open. If I’m over a week late in AF, then I’ll POAS. It hasn’t happened yet, but it’s not as devastating when you see a stark BFN. This past month I had an evap on an OSOM test that’s designed to NOT have any evaps, so you can imagine how disappointed I was. This TTC process is much harder than I thought, esp when I’m surrounded by friends and family who have had their child and/or onto their subsequent children. I wish I could provide some comforting words. Just know that you’re not alone on this journey. Despite how easy it seems for others, many couples have a hard time before getting their happy news.
Find something you really enjoy and love. I found it in yoga and I’ve been practicing almost every day. It calms my mind and when I’m gearing up for an AF, I prepare myself mentally. That’s not to say when I do get my AF, I’m not sad or disappointed. But I no longer have sob-fest and cry uncontrollably. My husband hates seeing me like that and I can’t imagine how helpless he feels. We’re in it together and I just have to be patient. I’ve been off the pill for 18 months, and NTNP for 8 months, while actively TTC 10 months. That’s a long time and that’s 18 times disappointment, and I needed to take a step back and try to make this experience less “work” and more “exciting”. I hope this helps, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I understand where you are. Sending you positive thoughts! An abundance of it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods
I just noticed my atrocious spelling and grammar errors. I apologize. I hate that you can only edit for approximately a split second before it takes away that option.
Post # 5
@Aqualov: English is not my mother tongue, so it doesn’t bother me:-)
I wish you good luck and hope for you that it doesn’t take years!
thanks for your encouraging words! To know that there are other women going through the same hard times makes it easier. I try to enjoy he time without kids, we’re going on a short vacation at the end of April, we can trink a glass of wine in the evenings, we can sleep long hours at the weekends. And sometimes it works, sometimes I think “Hey, enjoy that time!”. It’s getting harder when you have your friends around with their kids. And when other friends announce that they are exprecting, often not the first, but the second and third child! And all seems so easy for them. For most of them I’m really happy! And I’m not lying here. But for some, I just think.”Hey, a few years ago you even didn’t wanna have kids!”.
I’m trying not to feel bitter, but it’s hard. I refuse to buy any further pregnancy test until I’m at least a week late. Additonally, we nearly don’t have friends anymore without kids which makes it harder to go for a drink or to a fancy restaurant at the weekends.
I’m 32 years old, turning 33 in July, and my clock is ticking. And I’m afraid that besides having MS god is punishing me again, this time with infertility:-( Stupid thought, I know.
In the meantime I’m trying to enjoy my sex life more:-) Just as it was before we started TTC.