(Closed) Ladies, when you were dropping ring hints did you talk budget with your man

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I did consider his income when we were talking about rings. But, I didn’t really think in terms of “monthly salary”. Basically, though, he came up with a number he was comfortable spending, and we both kept that in mind when we shopped for my ring.

Maybe if you two are discussing it openly, you can ask him what he feels comfortable spending on your setting.

Post # 4
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

Yes we did discussed buget a lot.  I had a different budget then he had.  We came to a compromise and agreed on a budget that we both liked.  Although in the end his the one paying for the ring and he thought he should be the only one with input.  I figured hey I have to wear it forever mine as well get something I’ll love.  He doesn’t want my help in paying for it when the time comes.  He can afford it on his own but I was just offering.  I was able to search for the ring setting and diamond that I want within the budget we agreeed on.  Now all he has to do is buy the darn thing lol.

Post # 5
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I do think 2 month’s salary is a lot to ask for a setting, especially if he’s in grad school. if you are saying that it will be 2.5 – 5K, that actually sounds kind of outrageous for a setting alone! the rule of thumb (which I personally don’t subscribe to because it was set by debeers for their own marketing purposes) is 2 month’s salary including the diamond.

would you be open to getting an affordable setting for now, and then upgrade in the future when you can afford it more easily?

Post # 7
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

oh, you wanted a halo setting. I could see how that would drive up the price a bit. keep looking! you never know what you might find out there.

again, what if you found a cheaper halo setting to put your family diamond into, and then one day when you could afford it, upgrade to a setting made of finer quality materials?

for example, this setting (link below) is $1,439, including the matching wedding band. but I bet if you called them and asked, you might be able to buy the setting w/o the center stone and w/o the wedding band too. I bet that would drive the price down a lot! they sell lots of stuff you don’t see on the website. they are very accomodating. maybe you don’t want moissanite, but it’s a good alternative if you think of it as temporary, and you would know the center stone is your cherished family diamond.

http://www.moissaniteco.com/cushion-tiffany-legacy-style-halo-moissanite-wedding-set-p-9546.html  they have other designs too. maybe you could sell it on ebay when you’re done with it!

EDIT: dur, yes they do sell lots of halo rings w/o the matching band. they are here:http://www.moissaniteco.com/shop-by-style-halo-c-159_161.html 
anyway, maybe you can also ask them to buy it w/o the center stone too!
 

Post # 8
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

To be honest, I’ve never discussed cost with him. We’re not engaged yet but it’s coming and he has chosen the stone and setting based on what he knew I liked. I knew he’d been saving for years before we met (he went to Iraq in 2006 with the army so he was putting money aside for his future) so as a result I would’ve felt guilty putting any sort of price to him. My only conditions were that 1- He should only buy something he knew he could reasonably afford and 2- He needn’t go over the top on my behalf. I’d be happy with it regardless of price.

He asked me about my preferred cuts and styles. But that aside everything else was totally his choice. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

He had talked to my mother about the ring budget which was a bad idea since my mother is ridiculous. He only asked me about it after sweating bullets over the high expectations set by my mother.

It was much more important to me to have a ring that we were both comfortable with than my ideal dream ring. I didn’t want him to resent me for being materialistic or unwilling to compromise and meet him halfway.

Post # 10
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would try a different jeweler if I were you. My jeweler said he could do my intricate halo for less than 1K. I have a post to it if you want to check my posted threads. Seriously 5K for a setting alone is ridiculous when it’s being made and they are just taking advantage. 

Anyways, yes we talked budget. We live together so our finances are pretty much combined (at least in the sense that, if he’s broke everything else falls on me). We didn’t want to put ourselves in that situation. We got my ring and loose stone for less than 2K and then got it set for $50. I’m from GA so I could give you the name of a jeweler that is doing my intricate enhancer band for $400 (Yes, instead of the $1000 Kay wanted to charge). I got the name from MsYellowJacket – she got hers set there too, and then so did I, if you are interested. 🙂 It’s in Marietta if that’s even doable for you.

Post # 13
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@jackndiane: Just PM’ed you. And thank you I’m pretty much in love with my ring. haha. 🙂 I sent you the info – I hope he can create something you would love!

Post # 14
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jackndiane: Yes, fiance and I talked budget.  I didn’t think it was “tacky” it was getting my expectations in line WAYYY before we started looking.

Here’s a link to an affordable halo setting..  Just be careful when you’re looking at cheaper options.  You don’t have to get stuck with a ring that loses stones often.

halo setting

Post # 15
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We definitely did.  Granted we already had combined our finances, so I would have 1) noticed when a huge chunk of money disappeared, and 2) not been happy if he paid a ton for my ring.  I’m not a huge jewelry person, and wasn’t really concerned with getting an expensive ring.  He told me what he was planning on spending; I told him he could spend 20% of that, because I didn’t feel comfortable wearing a piece of jewelry that cost much more than that.  Luckily, we have an heirloom diamond, and having it set cost exactly our agreed upon budget.  If we hadn’t had the diamond, I would have asked for a smaller, non-diamond stone. I do still feel uncomfortable, because the diamond is bigger than I expected, and because I know that ring is more expensive than anything else I own, but I do love it.

Post # 16
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I did.  I picked my “the one” then I chose two others that were almost completely different and in the lowest price point of all the rings I liked. 

Then I left it up to him further to find the same style off ebay or any other place. 

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