(Closed) Ladies who eloped… who did you tell?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Who did you tell when you eloped?
    No one... we kept it hush hush. : (10 votes)
    36 %
    Only our parents and siblings. : (2 votes)
    7 %
    Family and very close friends. : (12 votes)
    43 %
    Anyone who would listen! : (4 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We have told our families and a few friends our intentions of eloping or a small with just us. We haven’t set a date yet as things are kinda hectic with job relocations and house hunting, and we may just go get married and tell everyone after. We plan on having a party of some sort but nothing fancy.

    Post # 4
    2009 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Go shopping for your dress with everyone.  Don’t discuss plans.

    Then elope and tell no one.

    Post # 5
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We’ve told family and very close friends.  I planned the entire thing in a week which included reserving a room at the B&B, hiring a photographer, and finding a celebrant.  I got a dress, shoes, accessories, etc., got a bouquet/boutonniere (along with charms with pics of our parents since we’ll have no guests), already got the wedding bands.  All we have to do is stop and get the marriage license and get married.  We live in Maryland but planned the ceremony for Loudon County, Va in the fall.  I’m hoping for a beautiful fall day with leaves at their peak. 

    We’ll announce our wedding to people after we get back and I plan on ordering announcement to mail out.  It’s all been amazingly stress free.  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 6
    2190 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I am engaged and we are thinking of eloping. I guess it’s not an elopement if we tell people. But we are in the same boat as you, we don’t want to spend thousands on one day (even if it is a very special day!). My family is aware that we don’t want to spend a lot of money on it and want something small. Fiance and I are still not sure if we will go to the Justice of the Peace or do a small destination wedding. But even if we do a courthouse wedding, I will wear a cute dress and have a bouquet and definitely a photographer.

    I went dress shopping with my Future Mother-In-Law, sister, and best friend. I wanted that experience. While I didn’t find the dress, it was a fun time. I might even make a brooch bouquet and include my family and friends in that project. 


    Post # 7
    4945 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Pretty much nobody except my next door neighbors since there were watching my dogs for me while we were out of town getting hitched! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Afterward, we sent a cell pic of us holding a sign that said “we eloped” (see avitar) to our families and friends!

    Post # 8
    580 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    People were bugging me for plans, dates, dresses, bridesmaids etc within 3 days of becoming engaged. I told them that we were going to run away and I’ve heard nothing but ‘advice’ first. I’ve been told things from ‘you are making a mockery of marriage’ to ‘I want to be a bridesmaid, I’ll understand if you don’t pick me but I’ll be upset’. I wish I’d told no one.

    Post # 9
    684 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I told my parents right away our plan and explained the reasons why we are doing it. My Mom wanted to come with us but eventually understood that it would be more romantic for us if it was just a two of us, especially since we were honeymooning in the same place. His family was told a little later on and they were ALL upset for various reasons. His niece wanted to see her favourite uncle get married (she is under 21 so would not have been invited anyway). His Dad thought he was the only who was not invited. His Mom could not afford to fly so she thought we did it on purpose so far away… etc.

    We told our close friends because they were originally in the bridal party, so they needed to know the change of plans. And we didn’t keep it a secret from anyone who would ask.

    In retrospect, I would have kept it a secret from everyone, except may be our very close friends. As soon as you tell people they would give you advice not to do it, or outright threats to go ahead with a big wedding, it was so crazy how everyone reacted. Some people were just angry with us that we would dare not to do the pony show and some were sad because they wished they would have done it too. Better not to tell anyone, in my view. Just savour the moment together and this awesome secret you share ๐Ÿ™‚


    Post # 11
    4945 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think it’s sad how people react to a couple’s plans! It’s about the couple, not about everyone else!

    Post # 15
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @grapefruitgal:  Booo I hate to be the annoying one whe disagrees, but I’m kinda against the idea of running away and telling no-one. It may work for some people, we thought about keeping our elopement secret but it would have completely broken my mums heart. I just think keeping such an important announcement secret can upset people. 

    We decided first we were going to elope and then I told my mum our plans. I didn’t say we were ‘thinking of eloping’ I said ‘we are going to get married overseas and we want to have a private wedding.’ I said that it was what we wanted to do as a couple. I didn’t explain why because I didn’t need to. Our family respected our decision to keep our wedding ceremony private. About 6 months away from our wedding date, I decided to invite my mum (and only my mum) to come to our ceremony overseas. It would have cost A LOT of money for her and my dad to come, so they decided to put that money instead towards a ‘reception’ when we got home. We were not going to have a reception at first but we welcomed the idea. So we had a private ceremony overseas and then a reception a few weeks later. It worked perfectly for us.

    Post # 16
    6123 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I told anyone who asked!  It was not to be a secret at all!  I did not however, post anything on Facebook prior.  I just don’t like to advertise when I’m not going to be home for lengthy periods of time (goes for all my trips).


    Several people (both close friends/family and not – like work people) knew about my my family’s drama, big wedding cancellation, my father’s death, so they often asked about “where are you now in the planning” stages.  Those that knew the story, definitely knew about the elopement.  I only shared with those that brought it up with me first.


    So maybe by definition it wasn’t an elopement – as we did tell people and it was all planned out.  H doesn’t think it was an elopement, but I say it was!

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