(Closed) Ladies who spend a lot of time away from DH

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don;t have any comments, but I am also in the same situation with my SO. I feel like I have a weekend boyfriend. It sucks.

Post # 4
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Depending on my work schedule (changes every week, depending on how much money I need to make!), some nights we only see each other at bed time and that’s it. Hubs has plenty of house and car projects to work on, so he usually keeps himself busy. Do you have hobbies you can fill your time with? I like to find recipes to cook, and watch TV series in order if there’s a time that hubs is gone for a long period, but that doesn’t happen very often

Post # 5
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My DH doesn’t travel a lot, but our work schedules are completely opposite sometimes.

Is it lonely at times? Yeah, definitely. 

Do I wish we had more time together? Absolutely. 

But honestly, we are each very independent and have solitary things we really take joy in, like reading for me and tinkering around with little projects for him. I have taken up some hobbies, like cooking, that I probably wouldn’t have attempted if we were together all the time.

Don’t be afraid of a little “me” time. I know it gets lonely; just try to make the best of it and grow personally in the process.

And when you get lonely, jump on WB. πŸ™‚

Post # 6
510 posts
Busy bee

I am in a similar situation.  DH is an attorney and works crazy long hours depending on the cases he’s working on at the time.  I’m getting used to it, but it’s definitely an adjustment.  I keep busy w/ going to the gym, yoga, tv, reading, talking on the phone, visiting w friends… Not an ideal situation, but we’re making it work.

Post # 8
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@bestbuddies: I’m going to guess you meant sew? If so, there are usually classes at places like Michael’s or Joann Fabrics that are free or cheap that will teach you the basics.

My Fiance works late from home in the evenings after work because he has his own company and contracts for a few different firms. Often times he’ll be working until 11pm or later, so even though he’s home it feels like I’m by myself. I try to read, call a friend, watch TV, do some DIY wedding projects or work myself. It’s hard. I was recently trying to convince him to let me get another kitty so I wouldn’t feel as lonely.

Post # 10
85 posts
Worker bee
Post # 11
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@bestbuddies: Haha, I figured. It didn’t seem like you were planning on starting a farm. πŸ™‚

Post # 13
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

i love my husband but man, sometimes i wish he would go away for a weekend.  and it has nothing to do with him really…i just really like having the house to myself sometimes. i’m an independent soul inside and have no problems when we’re apart.  it’s good for us to be away in my mind.  when i wasn’t working earlier this year i went to stay at my dad’s for 2 weeks because i was getting sick of being in our house and he was freaking out and missed me and wanted me home and i was just fine at my dad’s.  we went to a winery (me and dad) and i took up painting and just did a bunch of discovering myself. it was fun.  i mean my husband wasnt like dying or anything but he was definitely the one missing me more.

just try to view this as a chance to keep the spark there i guess and use the time to explore yourself. pretty soon you’ll be living together and then have kids and not a moment alone and you’ll think back to these days and sigh lol

Post # 14
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

DH is in the military and currently is away for a year to be trained in his job.  I’m hoping to see him once a month after basic training but there’s no guarantees.  Right now I’d just like to be able to call and talk to him since his last phone call was two weeks ago (sucks… majorly), so at least you know it could be worse. πŸ˜‰

How do I do it?  I just do.  This is the career he’s chosen, and like it or not, it requires that he be away for extended periods of time.  I realized really quickly that I had two options:  to be miserable, or to make the most of it.  So, I chose to make the most of it, and enjoy the time I have to develop my own interests, support his career, become more independent, and enjoy time with my friends and family without worrying about his schedule.

You don’t do it because you necessarily feel like it or want to.  You do it because you love him, and because the only other option is to not be with him, really.

Post # 16
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in law school and I have NO time unless its super short notice. He works full time and umpires baseball just because he is a sports fanatic and this allows him to stay in the loop with local teams. Given our busy schedules, we only see each other about two or three times a month even though we live an hour apart.  We lived together for three years before I came to school and that’s when I realized that we are not the “joint at the hip…always attached” kinda couple. We talk on the phone, email, and text a lot though.

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