Post # 1
I am considering a fairly large stone for my e ring. I know I will be comfortable wearing it, but has anyone ever asked you these questions? How do you respond? Note: I am going the moissinate route and have no problemm correcting someone who calls it a diamond. I have nothing against ANY stone, and love all jewelry. This was just my personal choice. I want responses from all stone owners.
1. Is it real? (This one is particularly annoying to me. Yes it’s real, no I didn’t want a diamond)
2. How many carts/ how big is it?
3. (For moissy owners) so you got a cz? (My dad already dropped this one and proceeded to tell me to pass it as a diamond…which I won’t be doing)
4. What does your Fiance do?
5. Can I try it on?
I understand these are more common on the bee, but I want to hear about real life situations. Also, I would love to hear any odd questions or comments you received on your ring.
Also the poll above for large stone bees (2 carat and up) if you receive positive or negative comments on the ring.
Post # 2
Nope! Haven’t gotten a single one of these questions.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2017 - Bahamas
I have gotten 1,2,4 and 5. Yes, it’s real. It’s three carats. He’s a banker. No you can’t try it on. Can you see it? Then yes, it’s real.
Post # 4
My ring isn’t done yet so nothing for me yet. However number 5 really had my mouth open lol. I can’t believe someone would actually ask to try on someone’s ring (unless it’s a small child of course then I could understand…but an adult???).
Post # 5
I just had someone ask if my 1.5 was real. Guessing bc it’s throwing mad fire at brunch and I have a top knot on my head and don’t look particularly “pulled together” at the moment. People are snarky!!!!
Post # 6
soymilk: I actually borrowed that one from another thread. I couldn’t belive it either but I guess it has happened to a few bees! I have a RHR and teach a twos classroom. I have a student who calls it her ring and always wants to put it on. You’re right, kids would! And they do! But adults?!
Post # 7
saq4718: wow I may run into issues, then! I normally go out very put together, but when I don’t it shouldn’t matter to others. Even if I’m rich, I can’t like sweatpants? Come on. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Post # 8
AubreyMarie: soooo annoying. We are on a vacation this weekend and are at a bottomless brunch. Lol. not squeezing into anything tight with bottomless ricotta pancakes. No thank youu!! Lol
Post # 9
While it is a tacky question, when people ask if it’s “real” – 99.9% of the time, they mean – “is that a real DIAMOND?” …I never heard of anything other than CZ until I came across these wedding boards…unless the stone is a color, if it looks anything like a diamond, people are asking if it’s a real diamond
Obviously, how you answer the question is your own business, but if you say, “yes, it’s real” – unless you follow up with what it is (it’s a real ____ ), you are lying
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
My e-ring is a double halo diamond for reference.
I’ve gotten the “is that real?” Uh, yes. It is a real ring, not a figment of your imagination.
I’ve had other women ask to try it on. I don’t mind. It is gorgeous if I do say so myself!
I haven’t been ask what my Darling Husband does but I’ve been told the “boy, he must really love you” line. As if love is measured by what’s on my or anyone else’s finger.
Post # 11
ct2015: thanks for the response! I know that’s normally the intended meaning of the question. If anyone asked that I knew I would tell them, but a stranger in passing I don’t think I would give them the whole story of what a moissy is. It isn’t my intention to pass it as a diamond. We can afford a diamond but I’d rather have a ring AND a house DP:) I’m more looking for how often people ask these questions in real life. I didn’t think it was a common thing to ask these at all until I started seeing girls on the bee who have experienced it.
Post # 12
rosegoldgirl: your ring sounds to die for! My rhr has a double halo and I love it! I still can’t belive when people make the “big ring equals big love” comments. It is absolutely a small minded comment to make! My mother’s original e ring was a very small diamond solitare on a unique thin yellow gold band. If it wasn’t so thin she could risk breaking it, she would still be wearing it to this day because she loves petite jewelry. My parents have been married almost 30 years! I always bring that story up when people make that comment.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2016 - Long Island, NY
I’ve gotten 1, 2, 4, and 5.
Mostly my students, who don’t know how it isn’t right to ask those things. I have had my 2 best friends (bridesmaids) and my sister (MOH) ask me how big & how much, but it didn’t bother me when they did it as opposed to when other people ask me.
I actually love when people ask to try it on (not strangers, of course, but people I know)- not sure why, but most of my friends aren’t engaged or married yet so I think it helps them decide if they like the oval shape, or a halo, or narrow down their ring size. Majority of the engaged/married friends and acquaintances we know have round solitaires, so my ring is definitely different.
Post # 14
rosegoldgirl: the ‘must really love you thing’ infuriates me! I’ve also been told “Firefighers must be paid too much” by an elderly couple (who I’m going to hope were just joking) when they saw my 3 carat diamond ring moments after the proposal. It was a little deflating.
AubreyMarie: Friends have asked the carat weight, one studied it so intently I was tempted to ask if she’d like a Jewelers loupe to further inspect it! I learned that some ‘friends’ of mine discussed that it must be fake and have chosen not to compliment me on it (where as my previous ering was a 2 carat diamond purchased by an attorney and was ooooh’d and ahhhhhh’d over and immediately assumed to be real). Only a child has asked to wear it and it was too small for her.
No one has had the nerve to ask me directly if it was ‘real’ but it has been discussed behind my back. The Bee has some horror stories of large-carat ladies who have been given unsolisted advice/comments about how gaudy/tacky their ring is, what a waste of money, they should be ashamed for such a blatant display of money and the one which stunned me the most was a post where a bee was told (at a grocery store checkout, if I remember correctly) “enjoy being in debt” with regard to her ring.
Post # 15
I’m older (45) and sound a bit posh, which perhaps explains why I’ve never been asked any of these questions.
People very rarely comment on my ring now, when I was first engaged I got overwhelmingly lovely comments. One friend asked to look and said “Oh! Ostentatious!” which was a bit startling, and I think I sensed a tiny bit of negativity/ judgement from one other friend, but that’s it.
My ring is a very plain 2.02 platinum solitaire and in real life it doesn’t look that big to me. Close-up photos make it look much bigger.
Edited to add that I was asked the carat size once, but it was by a colleague who shares my love of rings so I didn’t mind at all.