- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Ladies! As the title indicates…I need some advice!! 🙂
A bit of background to bring you to where I am today. My fiancee’ and I met 7 yrs ago. Things were great (!!!) for the first 4 years or so. We had a “life”…went out with friends, socialized, hiked, biked, camped…overall very active lifestyle. We got engaged New Years Eve 2007 in Times Square. Total surprise to all as he did this without any of our friends/family knowing. Got down on one knee…popped open the box, etc. The whole nine! Sounds perfect, right!?! It was the best night ever! 🙂
Then long about a mere 2 months later, things started to take a slight turn and it’s not gotten really any better (actually worse) since. Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought an engagement was supposed to be a happy time in your life. One where you can actually “talk” about the future. I know it won’t all be roses and sunshine, but to even bring up the topic…is that forbidden? For me/us…unfortunately this is true. We haven’t talked about anything since he asked. Wait, I should say, if I bring it up, he changes the topic, or doesn’t speak of it at all. I can honestly say, he has never mentioned the word marriage ever since the night he asked me. (Now here’s me and as you can only imagine as excited as a new bride would be, I went out a little over a month after he asked me and found my perfect dress (ahh, the first one I tried :-), veil, shoes, etc. I’m pretty set. All of these items still sit today in a salon, waiting to even be worn. The store manager said, you can come and see your dress anytime until alterations need t/b made. I went down a few times in the beginning, now…maybe once last year…it makes me sad to think I may never wear it. Needless to say, little did I know that this was going to happen, I would’ve waited to purchase it.
The problem at hand as I said is the fact that he won’t breathe the words marriage/wedding/future, etc. He’s self employed and I know the economy is bothering him, but I’ve even said when he wasn’t working at all, I don’t need a $60,000 wedding. His family says he wants to give me the best he can. I am grateful for that, but when someone doesn’t speak of anything to do with the future, leaves one wondering what the timeframe is here. I am not 23 years of age anymore. As 3 years have passed, I sit and wonder is it ever going to happen. He has separated us from our friends because he’s says he’s tired all the time and doesn’t want to go out (very hard for me b/c I am a social person-whereas he is not) We don’t talk anymore. It’s “shop” talk, if anything. I’ve been putting on that happy face for awhile now. I am not happy and tired of lying first and foremost to myself and then others and they think everything is picture perfect between us. If not that, it’s arguing…more so constant b/c I am frustrated and he’s not giving in for anything. Of my family who knows what is going on, have said it’s time! Time for him to either get it together and follow through with this or you need to take a break and figure is this really what you want?
So, 7 years later…the last 3 engaged…no children, no mortgage, and most importantly, no committment, etc…what to do?