- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Well, my fiance (FI I think but I’m new so not sure of all the abbreviations yet!) has been laid off for a year now. We lived apart and were planning to keep it that way until we got married but when his lease came up in December we decided to move in together to help cut costs for both of us. He proposed on Jan 1 and things have been going well overall since the move in. It’s hard when I leave for work everyday because in a way it just reminds him that he doesn’t have a job to go to. He’s been looking hard (except for slacking around the holidays since no one is hiring) but it’s just tough out there! I’ve noticed he doesn’t shower everyday and I’m not sure some days how to tip toe around the fact that I’m the employed one while he feels like he doesn’t have much of a sense of purpose. It’s also hard because he’s on a totally different sleep schedule from me now. I prefer to go to bed by 11:30 and get up about 5:45 and he’s usually just coming into bed for good at 3 or 4 because the stress of not working makes it hard for him to sleep for more than a few hours a night and even then only if he’s completely exhausted. He’ll come in bed to “tuck me in” and have our nightly quiet time together but then he leaves and goes to watch tv or look for jobs online. Are there others out there having this same problem? What kinds of things do you do in your relationship to keep his spirits up and make him see that it’s not the end of the world and his contribution is important to our life even if it’s not what he’d planned on for the time being.