Post # 1
OK, so I got laid off today. It’s not AWFUL…I was given the choice to be demoted or be laid off, and I chose to be laid off bc I was recently (thankfully!) approached about a job somewhere else. Still left a bad taste in my mouth, since I love my job.
Anyway, the assistant director said she was sad to see me go, and then added “…and I’m worried now I want be invited to your wedding!” I stupidly said, “Oh of course you will be!”
Thing is, I wasn’t sure I was inviting everyone from work anyway. It is a small clinic, so if I invite one person I kinda have to invite them all…plus guests, that’s 20 people.
What to do, what to do?
Post # 3
@ktbrady: I’d so give her the standard line of “we’re trying to keep it small and family oriented blah blah blah.” I’m down for only inviting the coworkers you see socially. And, bonus, since you won’t be in the office, you won’t have to deal with the fall out. Win win, I say. (That sounds really snarky…but please! Laid off! Jobs and weddings are always high emotion. Why do people say things like “Oh, I hope I’m still invited!” It bamboozles me.) Good luck with the job offer! My fingers are crossed for you! 😀
Post # 4
I wouldn’t invite him! I like your first option, don’t send a save the date. Plus, think about it like this – you might want to invite people from your new job so thats more people!
Post # 5
i would put her on your b-list. don’t send a save the date, and only send an invite if you get some declines.
Post # 6
For starters, I’m sorry you were laid off but atleast you have a back-up plan. Thats awesome!
As for the wedding, what a weird predicament. I couldn’t imagine someone who is canning me asking about still being invited to my wedding. I voted for “dont send them the STD’s and invite those you stil see closer to the wedding”. A lot could happen in 9 months. I’m not sending any of my co-workers STD’s just because I want to have the option to not invite them as we get closer to the wedding. As of right now, I plan on inviting them but who knows how I’ll feel about these people in 8 months.
Post # 7
yeah I would B-list her. If you have room then fine, but definitely don’t include her in the first round of invites
Post # 8
You could always tell her, because you got laid off, you can’t afford to have more than just family and close friends! I like kitzy’s idea…
Post # 9
Oh, that’s hard. I probably would have done the same thing. I don’t know what I would do.
Post # 10
Sounds like she kind of invited herself… I wouldn’t be too worried about not inviting people from your work. You really won’t be seeing a lot of them anymore now that you’ve been laid off, and your wedding is still quite far away.
I had someone ask me a similar question. I just sort of blew it off like you did, but this person is not invited. I kinda feel that if somebody has to ask if they’re invited, then they probably aren’t invited 🙂
Post # 11
B List for sure… you still have about 6 months to the wedding so by then you may have started your new job… and grown apart from the people you used to work with?
Post # 12
I totally think you handled it the right way, I would definitely see where you are at closer to your wedding date and when you send out invites. You may not be talking to anyone from work so there is no need to make that commitment now that you arent working there!
Post # 13
@TheMrs2013: I like the way you think! 🙂
Post # 14
Thanks y’all! I just found it so strange. The environment at my work has been kind of toxic bc we are state funded and so experiencing a budget cut, and then this HR error occurred where we were all given the choice of being demoted or being laid off.
Now that I think about it, I wonder if my boss was just saying, in a weird way, that she hopes they still see me. She is normally so tactful and supportive that it just really surprised me! I like the B List idea, I think I will do that for sure.
Thanks for the advice!
Post # 15
few ex-coworkers will you stay in close contact thereafter. i remember a job I had one yr we had TONS of young women working in the department , we’d go to bars , hang out well that summer I went to 3 weddings. after we all were canned, notta a 1 stayed in contact. feel no obligations
Post # 16
@loveOlove: agreed! even if you do stay in contact – the nature of the realtionship may be different than a regular friend that you see on a weekly basis.