Post # 1
What is the deal with being made to feel you have to invite people to your wedding just because they’re family, co-workers, bosses, fill in the blank? I don’t invite these people to my birthday or any other major life events. So, I see no point in inviting them to my wedding.
My mom is super mad because I am not finding bigger roles in my wedding for her siblings. She also doesn’t seem to ever mention my dad’s side of the family. (My parents are still married) I could care less if my mom’s family comes to my wedding. In fact, I resent the fact that them being invited will also mean that I lose spots on my side of the guest list when I could fill them with people I want there.
Crappy part is that my mom’s family lives close and distance is not a reason to not invite. I’m honestly just super irritated that this is happening and it was the reason me and FH had already planned a small ceremony w/no guests. However, it’s important to his grandma that he loves that we do the traditional shpeal so here we are.
My only other beef is with my mom not wanting to have her hair and makeup done on my wedding day. My mom is not fashion-forward and I’m footing the bill, but she’s fighting tooth and nail to look the way she does everyday. I don’t want a frump in my pictures.
I doubt any one can offer any help, just needed to dump it off somewhere where there’s no judgment.
Post # 4
I know how you feel.
I’m forced to invite relatives I haven’t seen for more than 10 years. I have no attachment to them except they are my relatives. They don’t know my life and I don’t know theirs. My bestest friend can’t come to the wedding (long story) and my lame relatives are coming. it’s really upsetting.
I really wanted a small intimate wedding with people we love. it’s not going to happen.
I can’t do anything at this point, and I just have to vent here… ((hugs))
Post # 5
@GettingMaui’d glad I’m not alone here. I watched a bunch of friends be miserable because of these issues so our initial plan was the nothing option when given a choice of all or nothing. I want FH’s family to be happy but now I’m not. My best friend’s mom who is like my 2nd mom is throwing my shower and my mom is po’d that I didn’t invite her family. I told her I invited who I wanted and she hasn’t said anything since. I told her to quit trying to force a relationship tha isn’t going to happen. If she’s going to be like this I told her she doesn’t have to come. And she knows I mean it. I plan to be married once and won’t have my wedding full of strangers and people I never talk to.
Post # 6
Yes ladies… I hate that your famliy wants you to invite poeople who you might not even know who the heck they are!! However, if they put enough guilt on you, then you end up doing it.
People are crazy!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
Post # 7
Just stick to your guns, invite who you want, and just ignore your mom. Family is not all blood, and she needs to deal with it
Post # 8
Sorry to hear that. It is the unfortunate part of wedding planning that no one warns you about beforehand. I have been pretty firm and said no. I have a couple of aunts and an uncle that I am not inviting to my wedding. While my dad was initially upset, I explained to him that I wasn’t going to remove someone from the invite list who is going to be a part of my married life just so someone I happen to share DNA with but haven’t seen in 10 years (even though we live in the same city) can come to my wedding. Since my parents aren’t paying for the wedding, I’ve been pretty fortunate that my family has been understanding about my guest list. Now FI’s family is a different story, they honestly expect me to invite all 32 cousins. Not happening. Asmuch as I wish that my family was able to help pay for the wedding, the benefit of paying for the wedding myself has been that I can pretty much make the decisions I want for my day. I hope it works out for you.
Post # 9
Definitely. Stick to your guns.
Post # 10
Well I think it depends on who is paying really. If you are paying for your wedding, then definitely you can choose who is on the guest list. My sister and BIL paid for their wedding and rejected many of my parents and his parents requests for guests.
My parents are paying for my wedding so if they want to invite relatives I haven’t seen in 10 years, what say do I really have? Its not like I have a beef with any of them and can’t stand them, they are just basically strangers. As long as there is room for all of my and FH’s guests then I will just have to get over it. I really would rather have eloped, I figure on a future anniversary FH and I can renew vows alone.
Post # 11
“I don’t want a frump in my pictures.“
Post # 12
its your day, stick with what you n Mr. Want