lantana: “got a gig”
Seriously – five days before the wedding via text. Super close friend of my husband who texted to say “hey, can’t come after all- got a gig”- you know- to the wedding that was less than a week away- with the seating chart done, your and your spouses food, liquor, etc., etc. paid for. “got a gig”. Who does that??
Its an invitation, not a summons, so come if you want- don’t if you don’t want to, but don’t say yes and then bail at the last minute. And, it would have at least been nice to have gotten a real phone call, an apology, or even just a congrats on your wedding card. Still trying to not be bitter about that. We really had almost no “no” rsvps, so I guess these things happen?? But, seriously- “got a gig” within days of the wedding via text??
With a friend of mine, her only brother got pissed at her and hadn’t talked to her in a year. She was crushed, as they had always been super close and their parents were deceased (one died fairly recently and without going into detail, It turned out the brother was spending an inheritance that didn’t exist- he’d been living in a financial house of cards and marriage was on the rocks)- she’s a better person than me, as she hung in there, sending cards to the family, etc. trying to be in touch. Said brother finally calls her and says something to the effect of “sorry I had my head up my a**”. She tells him about the wedding, he sounds excited, she cuts five close friends off her list as they were trying to keep the guest list under fifty, and then radio silence. Her brother posts pics of his vacation to the mid-west, a THREE week trip to Disney, and then a week long trip to the mountains, but she couldn’t reach him to get an rsvp. He finally texts back- a month after the rsvp deadline- a month after the Disney trip while on vacation in the mountains- to tell her they were sorry, but just can’t afford to come. She texts back, as his phone is going straight to voicemail, and says “hey, did you forget I said you can all stay at the house (wedding was three hours from where he lived; on a weekend; he’s self/employed so didn’t need to take time off work; and his wife doesn’t work outside the home), with a fridge full of food, do you need anything else, etc. ” and his response was “yeah- that was nice if you”. at that point, it was so close to the wedding, she didn’t feel like she could invite the friends who were cut to invite him, as it was too late and she thought it would seem rude (I wished she had invited them- because her fiancé had a large family and she didn’t really have any (both parents had been only children- both sets of grandparents deceased)- they allocated more spots to her fh- which seemed fair- but it meant that she had less than twenty people there because she crossed people of the invites to make room for her brother and his family. He left her a voicemail again the day before the wedding telling her they would have come if only if they could have afforded it. Again, she’s a better person than me- she calls back- tells him it’s only a few hours away and that they are all welcome- she again offers use of the house- and says she’ll pay for gas and meals out if they need it- he doesn’t call back. I think it was crushing for her, as she’d always kind of taken care of him through the years- and he just couldn’t be bothered. She tried to excuse it away, but I know it made her pretty sad. The real kicker was that not even a full week after her wedding- her brother posted pics on Facebook of his week long trip to one of those hotels with the giant indoor waterparis (he has always seriously taken more trips than anyone I know, but has filed business bankruptcy multiple times- I’ll never get where his travel money comes from- I know here are points in the past where my friend has bought them groceries, paid their mortgage a couple times, and given them cash when needed, but then the next thing you know, they are off on multiple trips again- it’s super strange). One of his friends asked for some info and about deals for ithe hotel/indoor waterpatk and her brother posted back that it was Disney kind of expensive, don’t count on getting a deal or discount there, and they had upgraded to a deluxe suite because “you only live once- you gotta do it in style”. I will forever think of him as a giant loser.
As I said, it’s an invitation, not a summons, but sometimes, you just kind of shake your head and go “what?!?!”.