Post # 76
I decline wedding invitations all the time. If it’s out of town and you’re not my BFF, I’m not shelling out the money for a hotel and rental car. I maybe go to half the weddings I’m invited to. I don’t think that’s a problem. Others here may disagree. I think the problem is the giving of excuses.
When I skipped my acquiantance-friend’s wedding in Arkansas, I just wrote “congratulations; sorry we can’t join you!” I could have said, “Sorry, but it would cost literally $1000 to attend your wedding in the middle of nowhere, where I’ll know no one and I really don’t want to waste my vacation days to go, so sorry!.” I think the first isn’t a big deal, the second one is rude.
Post # 77
- Wedding: June 2016 - City, State
I know, right? I have moved 10 times in the past ~6 years so I know a bit about packing and it makes no sense to me!! (and the wedding is 1 month away! not like he doesn’t have time to get organized beforehand…)
Post # 78
I think that’s the point actually. Decline. Go ahead. just check that box and send it on it way, maybe add that heartfelt note as well. But don’t make an excuse that is clearly bullshit. That’s wherein lies the hurt.
Now granted if they have the gall to ask, that’s their problem, but in my scenario at least, I was told the reason why, I didn’t inquire, and I think that’s the case for most of the gals here.
Post # 79
haha, I love this thread so much!
Post # 80
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
Totally with you on this one. Out of town on a Work Day is a big ask. Don’t sweat it 🙂 x
Post # 81
We didn’t actually get a proper no rsvp. The day of the wedding, two hours before the ceremony, one of the groomsmen told us that one of our guests would be coming alone as his girlfriend had fallen over and hurt herself. Nothing from the actual friend. The story goes that she was super excited about wearing her new pair of shoes, she’d been trying them on, had fallen over in them at home and was more upset that she couldn’t wear her heels than anything else… Still nothing for the her or her boyfriend that did attend to explain anything to us almost a week on… Hey ho, people are weird, I didn’t even realise until 6 hours in that she wasn’t there!
Post # 82
- Wedding: May 2016 - Ever After Banquet Hall
My wedding was this past Saturday. The people who never responded to any attempts did not come. We had 2 extra people we didn’t expect, but we also had 29 no-shows that said they were coming.
Reasons I have heard so far:
* 3 gallbladder surgeries (My Maid/Matron of Honor was one of them)
* forgot daughter’s prom was the same night
* had to take son to soccer practice
* forgot to take the day off work
* decided not to bring the kids afterall
* three people said they were bringing a date/SO, but didn’t.
Now, I’m not saying all of these are lame. I get the surgery ones (really, though? THREE people needed their gallbladder removed on the same weekend? What are the odds?). But, my Maid/Matron of Honor and I had bets going on the one who had to take her son to soccer practice 😉 She has had one excuse or another for a couple of years now for missing almost everything she was invited to….even the ones where we made her pick the day and time LOL!
Oh, and here are the placecards I told you about. My daughter’s friend used the “I told you I wasn’t coming, but look, here I am!” card LOL Everyone really got a kick out of them. I saw several people taking pictures of them LOL!
Post # 83
2 weeks before the wedding, we had an email from DHs aunt saying she probably couldn’t make it, as her daughter was starting university and didn’t want to be too far away (she was 18.. and they don’t live close anyway). Ok, fair enough. But she went on to say she would try really hard to make it. Er, you have now less than two weeks and I need a final guest count, if you make it now you ain’t getting dinner!
ETA: She said her husband had no excuse, he just ‘doesn’t do social occasions’. (And she’s vegetarian).
Post # 84
My childhood best friend, whom I’m no longer friends with, said she couldn’t come because was going to a college football game, because they already had bought season tickets to all the games….to a college that she NEVER went to, only her brothers went there!
Post # 85
- Wedding: June 2016 - City, State
yup, I have 2 friends who haven’t answered my attempts to get their RSVP until yesterday. Their response? “we’ll do everything we can to come but cannot give you an answer right away”. uh…ok? wedding is in 3 weeks!
In other news, my friend who is “packing” has finally decided not to come. There are “too many uncertainties “……….
Post # 86
- Wedding: June 2016 - City, State
I am starting to wonder if people now treat weddings casually, like birthday. I mean it’s a once in a lifetime celebration!! priorities, people!
Post # 87
Uncle RSVP’d “Yes” promptly after receiving invitation.
2 days before wedding “oh, I can’t get the time off work because FOG has the day off (they work together) “… Well yeah, it’s his son’s wedding…
Why did you not check with work that you could have the day off until 2 days before the wedding?!
Post # 88
I haven’t sent out my invitations yet, but reading through your responses is both cracking me up and scaring me!
I could care less who RSVP’s no, better for me because I can either save money on the meal or invite someone else who deserves the spot since we have a limited capacity. Personally if they want to celebrate with us, great, and if they don’t… it is their loss. Our friends and family that care for us will be there supporting us and that is what matters.
I am NOT okay, however, with people who RSVP yes and do not show up. With tax and service charge, we are paying almost $200 per meal and I will be furious with anyone who does not show up after the final meal count is provided to the caterer. I understand things come up, people get sick last minute or emergencies happen, but simply forgetting or deciding not to come after the head count is final… is not okay. My Fiance would have half a mind to show up at their doors afterward and ask for $200 back for the steak we threw away.
Post # 89
It is very frustrating when people RSVP yes and then don’t come. My BM/ now ex-best friend RSVP’d yes for her boyfriend then the day of, she came alone and said he got food poisoning. I was like OMG I totally understand, no biggie. But then she tells everyone else a different story: that he’s a recovering alcoholic and didn’t want to be uncomfortable. Mind you, she has offered to him (I’ve witnessed this) a drink here and there…so that makes no sense to me. And, if that was the case, then you knew ahead of time that he wouldn’t want to come so why RSVP yes? each meal costs money! She’s a chronic liar so I just couldn’t maintain our friendship. Plus she was drunk and or high the whole time and slept with a groomsmen. Boy did I want to tell the boyfriend back home.
Post # 90
We had one couple who canceled at the last minute due to weather…but these were guests who had no reason to be actually concerned about the weather! (They were Midwesterners coming to a Midwestern wedding. Midwesterners are typically not afraid of a little snow! And none of our guests who were coming from much farther away were concerned about the possibility of snow.)